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EAST
THURROCK 0 SOUTHEND 7 |
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And so on to my first gripe of the day - the jobsworth ticket inspector on the c2c line. No, I didn’t have my ID card. It’s a fair cop. But to then lecture me on how the travelcard is c2c’s property and he could take it back if he wanted was just ridiculous. Fortunately he “let me off” with a warning, and a dire one at that: “they’ll be a lot more of us about from now on”. I was expecting the malodorous bloke to say “so, just watch it, sonny!” but he didn’t. So, the first SZ lesson in a series: on the c2c line, sign the back of your monthly/annual ticket and always carry your ID card. And that was just the start. The directions provided by the AA website led us into a maze of roads and with drinking time being eroded, we had to use all our skills and know-how to get there. No time to get to the pub now, so it’ll have to be a clubhouse review: The lagers tasted of cardboard and they tried to cram as much as possible into one room - hence the six televisions, the two pool tables, the jukebox and a couple of fruities as well as a gaming table and a small patio outside for the locals to practise their banjos. The tellies were playing Magic FM (lots of Wham! and S Club), cricket and the golf, which would have been fine, except every so often the jukebox would come into life like Linda Blair from the Exorcist and start playing Outkast at the same time as Barry Manilow was singing about Mandy. Confused? Not as much as we were to see an Indian takeaway van outside the clubhouse. What a cracking idea! Oh, and I forgot. East Thurrock FC has the best toilets in football. There were some initial doubts by us as to whether the game would go ahead. The rain, thunder and lightning (which seemed to knock out Magic FM - not a bad thing) seemed to turn the area into a marsh, and that was just the car park. The stadium was a typical non-league affair, with some strange bus shelters dotted around and some great burgers on offer, plus friendly staff (for a change for all us travellers). So, to the game. Brian Dear had already showed us the teams in the clubhouse, so we knew what to expect. The teams lined up (both halves) in a typical 4-4-2. The first half had both triallists, a youth player, a few fringe players and a few first-teamers. The line-up was: Bartman, Jupp, Barrett, Eagle, Wilson, Corbett, Maher, Surey, Gower, Drewe and Judge. The game started brightly with a great header by Eagle hitting the bar. After that a few balls were being sprayed around - we looked comfortable at the back - Eagle very dominant in the air and putting a name on it. Drewe up front was firing everyone up and winning a lot as well. But there didn’t seem to be much of a spark about it- we came close a few times - Drewe missed a few chances, but after half an hour, we never really thought we would be winning this one by seven goals. The defence looked solid. Bartman came out for crosses and claimed them easily (Darryl please take note), Williams looked comfortable, and the centre-backs formed a good pairing. In midfield, Surey surely deserves another look. Up front, Judge looks a very useful player - and it was he that set up Gower with a great ball that allowed him through. One nil. Corbett provided us with the biggest laugh of the day in the first half, though. As he ran down the left wing into space and Drewe had the ball, Corbett seemed to lose his voice and screech “Dreeewwe”. It was 'Saved By The Bell' all over again. And in fact, we were saved by the bell, because just before half-time we scored a second goal, courtesy of Jimmy himself, again after good work from Judge and Maher. We moved positions on the second half, to be right behind the opposition keeper. How bad was he? Blimey. Anyway, the second half line-up: Darryl, Jupp, Spinner, Hunt, Nicky, Husbands, Bentley, Bryan, Kightly, Bramble and Gray. What a difference a bit of pace and trickery makes! Kightly, Husbands and Gray were sharp, technically aware and willing to go for goal. And so the floodgates opened! But first, a bit of luck. Tes’ effort from 20 yards dribbled into the corner of the net. Dodgy keeper! Gray then seized onto a defensive mix-up to fire home. He looks a bit dangerous. Strong, quick, and good with his head as he proved later on, when, unmarked, he headed home a Bramble cross. However, this was after Bentley had to go off, replaced by Surey, as he did his leg in. “Same one?” the physio asked. “Yeah”, replied Bents. He then kicked the hoarding in disgust, yelling a range of obscenities. (Bentley, not Stannard) So, five up, and we’re cruising. Defence? What defence? I think East Thurrock got near our goal once in the second half. Spinner was a cut above the rest, and after witnessing his crazy warm-ups (leg round the neck, anyone?), no wonder. The sixth goal was a Husbands top-corner smashed in from 8 yards after a Bramble through-ball and the seventh a classic own goal as the defender stuck a boot out to a cross and the ball pivoted off his right boot past the stranded keeper. Seven nil and game over. Final thoughts - I know it’s only East Thurrock and we shouldn’t look too much into it. But we thrashed them. And that can only be good for confidence as we build up our fitness and team spirit. |
The
morning started not with anticipation, but a slight
worry as to how on God’s Earth I was going to get to
East Thurrock’s ground in the middle of nowhere. Fortunately
me and the white-haired wonder Ninja sorted something
out involving trains and a lift from a SUFC employee,
no less.