windybottom
14-11-2003, 05:27 PM
Why the Penis Requested a Raise:
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
* I do physical labor.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge head first into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends and public holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in dark places that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work
* periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
* other locations.
* You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and
* stimulated in order to start working.
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
* You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
* wearing the correct protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
* completed the assigned task.
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
* exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
Management
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
* I do physical labor.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge head first into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends and public holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in dark places that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work
* periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
* other locations.
* You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and
* stimulated in order to start working.
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
* You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
* wearing the correct protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
* completed the assigned task.
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
* exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
Management