Dwarf XI

[Yorkshire Blue]

We've had best and worse XIs, with talk of Derek Payne *shudders* - how about a past and present dwarf XI of players who should have stuck to kids football

Flahavan
? A. Harris Broad ?
Cook Williamson Payne ?
Darby ?

We must have had some tiny full-backs, wingers and strikers who were too small. Any ideas?
Any improvements?

[Napster]

Good call.

Mark Hall or Steve Phillips up front
Left-wing- Jenks, who's tiny.

[steveh1510]

Jay Smith? Michael Kightly?

[Matt the Shrimp]

Left back - Shane Wardley, aka Lewis Crowe. *Miniscule and skinny - looked as if he was about 12 years old.

Strikers... always thought Ben Abbey was tiny. *I'd also go for Belgrave - 5' 9" and sh*te...

Left mid - Houghton was small yet rotund. *Tony Scully was the same height (5' 7") but thinner, so I've gone for him.

Right back... Cross? *Can't think of any other tiny ones...

Broad? *6' 2", according to Soccerbase. *McSweeney at 5' 9" (according to Soccerbase) is surely the centre-back of choice...

How does this look?!

* * * * * * * Flahavan

Cross *A. Harris *McSweeney *Wardley

Cook * Payne * * Williamson * * Scully

* * * * Belgrave* *Abbey

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Matt

[Vange Shrimper]

Knew Williamson would be in there somewhere........ http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[Napster]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 03 2004,13:03)]I'd also go for Salter over Darby - Salts was tiny AND skinny...
Salter was 6'1...

[Yorkshire Blue]

Steve Phillips was good so that rules him out.

* * * * * Flahavan
Wilson Harris *McSweeney* Wardley
Williamson Cook Payne M. Hall
* * *Darby *Abbey

[Napster]

Quote[/b] (Yorkshire Blue @ Feb. 03 2004,13:08)]Steve Phillips was good so that rules him out.
Ah. OK.

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Napster @ Feb. 03 2004,13:08)]Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 03 2004,13:03)]I'd also go for Salter over Darby - Salts was tiny AND skinny...
Salter was 6'1...
Crumbs. You'd never have guessed.

Darby was 5' 10"... Bazza was 5' 9"... so Mr. Barrington Belgrave wins...

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Matt

[Vange Shrimper]

What bout Connolly? How tall was he?

[steveh1510]

Quote[/b] (Yorkshire Blue @ Feb. 03 2004,13:08)]Wilson
I thought that - the official site says he is 5'11? http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Vange Shrimper @ Feb. 03 2004,13:12)]What bout Connolly? How tall was he?
6 feet tall, alas...

According to Soccerbase, Lee Hodges stands at only 5' 4" tall. Is that so?

Who are Cook & M. Hall, Matt (YS)?

Matt

[Yorkshire Blue]

One of the things I'm looking for in my team is players who lie about their size.

Brett Darby was tiny. There's no way he was 5' 10". He clearly lied in his CV he sent off to the club asking for a trial as he knew if he put his real height in he'd be instantly rejected.
On that basis Broad and Salter get places on the bench.

[Yorkshire Blue]

Jason "pint-sized midfielder" Cook - IIRC yet another ex-Spurs YTS. Signed by Webby c.1990. Regular in ex-Southend XIs at testimonials etc.

Mark Hall - YTS product, a winger, small, black. Can't really think of anything else to say about him.

[HUMBLEPIE]

Steve Phillips up front and in midfield Little Dave Cunningham from the mid 70's both could start a fight in a phone box.

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Yorkshire Blue @ Feb. 03 2004,13:16)]One of the things I'm looking for in my team is players who lie about their size.

Brett Darby was tiny. There's no way he was 5' 10". He clearly lied in his CV he sent off to the club asking for a trial as he knew if he put his real height in he'd be instantly rejected.

On that basis Broad and Salter get places on the bench.
I agree that Broad has clearly lied somewhere about his height - he's not 6'2". But I'm also pretty sure he's taller than me... and I'm 5' 9" - 5" 10". *So he's not much shy of 6', I reckon.

Even if Darby lied, can we still have Belgrave? *Surely at 5' 9", and struggling for Farnborough, he's tailor made for this side. *And FM thinks he's better than Belgrave - surely a tie-breaker?!

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Matt

[Napster]

Quote[/b] (Yorkshire Blue @ Feb. 03 2004,13:18)]Mark Hall - YTS product, a winger, small, black. Can't really think of anything else to say about him.
Was here for more than 5 seasons.

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[Vange Shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 03 2004,13:15)]Quote[/b] (Vange Shrimper @ Feb. 03 2004,13:12)]What bout Connolly? How tall was he?
6 feet tall, alas...

According to Soccerbase, Lee Hodges stands at only 5' 4" tall. *Is that so?
Hodges is only a bit taller than me, and i'm about 5ft 4/5ft 5, so no that cant be true......

[Matt the Shrimp]

OK, so here's my final vote for the line-up:

Flahavan

Cross A. Harris McSweeney Wardley

Cook Payne Williamson Hall

Belgrave Abbey

Subs: Margetson, Broad, Darby, Salter, Hodges.

Any advance on Cross at right back?

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Matt

[steveh1510]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 03 2004,13:27)]Any advance on Cross at right back?
How tall was Julian Hails? Or Mark Beard?

[Yorkshire Blue]

There's no way you can have such a team without Darby in. Drop Abbey if you must include Belgrave.

[Yorkshire Blue]

I think Neville Roach may have been smaller than Belgrave.

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Yorkshire Blue @ Feb. 03 2004,13:33)]There's no way you can have such a team without Darby in. Drop Abbey if you must include Belgrave.
According to soccerbase:

Abbey - 5' 7"
Belgrave - 5'9"
Darby - http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif?
Roach - 5'10"

Ah... got confused. Can't find stats for Darby; so he goes in.

Cross - 5'10"
Hails - 5'10"
Beard - 5'7"

Beardo is a clear winner! *Thanks Steve.

So the line-up becomes:

* * * * * * * * Flahavan

Beard *A. Harris *McSweeney *Wardley

Cook * Payne * * Williamson * * Hall

* * * * Darby * Abbey

Subs: Margetson, Broad, Belgrave, Salter, Hodges.

[Yorkshire Blue]

At least Abbey was honest about his height. I'm tempted to go for Darby and Roach as they felt it necessary to lie about their heights.
Ditto Cheese Wilson.

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Yorkshire Blue @ Feb. 03 2004,13:48)]At least Abbey was honest about his height.
You reckon? I think he may have been exaggerating...

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Matt

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Yorkshire Blue @ Feb. 03 2004,13:48)]Ditto Cheese Wilson.
Who's he going to replace? *Shane Wardley?! *Come on, Wardley defines the genre! He is the one player above all others who genuinely does look as if he got lost on the way to his Primary School 5-a-side tournament...

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Matt

[Yorkshire Blue]

In at right-back. Mark Beard wasn't particularly tall, but he was an alright player.

[blues_r_best]

What about bombhead? *I know hes not as short as Williamson but he wasn't far off was he?

Could someone go look it up, I can't be arsed.

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ Feb. 03 2004,14:22)]Someone go look it up, I can't be arsed.
Thanks for your efforts and contribution to this debate. You've really added to the sum total of our knowledge... "I think Bombhead was small, but can't be arsed to check..."

Why exactly do you think we should be arsed to look for you? Either do it yourself, or he stays out of the team...


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Matt

[steveh1510]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 03 2004,14:29)]Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ Feb. 03 2004,14:22)]Someone go look it up, I can't be arsed.
Thanks for your efforts and contribution to this debate. *You've really added to the sum total of our knowledge... "I think Bombhead was small, but can't be arsed to check..."

Why exactly do you think we should be arsed to look for you? * Either do it yourself, or he stays out of the team...


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Matt
YEAH!

[Shagster69]

Keith Jones
Russell Williamson
Derek Payne
Jay Smith

We have quite a record of short arses in the centre of the park.
Right winger - Wasn't Michael Black *a bit on the short side and what about a certain Michael Kightly!

[blues_r_best]

Quote[/b] (steveh1510 @ Feb. 03 2004,14:39)]Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 03 2004,14:29)]Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ Feb. 03 2004,14:22)]Someone go look it up, I can't be arsed.
Thanks for your efforts and contribution to this debate. *You've really added to the sum total of our knowledge... "I think Bombhead was small, but can't be arsed to check..."

Why exactly do you think we should be arsed to look for you? * Either do it yourself, or he stays out of the team...


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Matt
YEAH!
After your motivational speeches, I have looked it up and bombhead (according to soccerbase.com) was 5'8".

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[Vange Shrimper]

So u lot are saying that 5ft 10 is a dwarf height?

Nevermind, Steeeve!!! http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

Oh btw wot bout the fiery Welshman we had - One and Only Nathan Jones........

[steveh1510]

Quote[/b] (Vange Shrimper @ Feb. 03 2004,15:53)]So u lot are saying that 5ft 10 is a dwarf height?

Nevermind, Steeeve!!! http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

Oh btw wot bout the fiery Welshman we had - One and Only Nathan Jones........
I'm 5'9 and a half actually.....

And Nathan Jones was too good for this team

Was Paul Williams also too good? I know we're fairly 'blessed' for this team where cr*p strikers are concerned though.... http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ Feb. 03 2004,15:04)]After your motivational speeches, I have looked it up and bombhead (according to soccerbase.com) was 5'8".

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Good lad!

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Matt

[chadded]

Broad is 6 foot, as is the Sweeney, although Sweeney maybe 5'11. Certainly no less.

Bombhead was 5'7 according to a Q and A he once did on the official site. Don't ask how I remember that, I just do. http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif


Soccerbase's stats are sh*t. If what MtS says is true (ie Sweeny @ 5'9), then McSweeney is shorter than Flavs and Jamie Stuart. Me no think so. http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[blues_r_best]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Feb. 03 2004,18:35)]Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ Feb. 03 2004,15:04)]After your motivational speeches, I have looked it up and bombhead (according to soccerbase.com) was 5'8".

http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
Good lad!

http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif *http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

Matt
You should be proud, you made a lazy student do some work.

Well done.

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[Bigdel]

How about the original matchstick man Sade N'Daye,one of Alvins signings,mind you Reggie Couthard was a player I liked.

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Bigdel @ Feb. 04 2004,19:24)]mind you Reggie Coulthard was a player I liked.
David's lesser-known brother, perchance...?

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Matt




P.S. He was called Regis Coulbault...

[TheLittleGazette]

Peter Butler was short and for a centre-half how about Danny O'Shea?

[BILLERICAY BLUE]

Quote[/b] (TheLittleGazette @ Feb. 09 2004,23:36)]Peter Butler was short and for a centre-half how about Danny O'Shea?
Butler's far too good for this team. I grant you O'Shea though http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[overseas shrimper]

Quote[/b] (BILLERICAY BLUE @ Feb. 10 2004,11:25)]Quote[/b] (TheLittleGazette @ Feb. 09 2004,23:36)]Peter Butler was short and for a centre-half how about Danny O'Shea?
Butler's far too good for this team. I grant you O'Shea though http://www.shrimperzone.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
If being good helps you 'grow' above dwarf stature, then maybe... lanky piece of p*ss though he was, Mario Walsh's astonishing lack of ability actually makes him rather hobbit-like. Hhhhmmm?

Lateral thinking 14 mins prior to kick-off with Kiddy! I've impressed myself.