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Always the highlight of logging in to this site. Must remember to put my coffee and bun to one side when reading this otherwise will have a serious accident one of these days. The shoulder muscle was priceless. Thank you so much.
 
Sunday 10th December 2017

I guess you've all heard me interview last neet and are wondering if I'm alreet. Yep, I sounded depressed and to tell yer the truth, I am reet unhappy. I feel the lads donnae care aboot me. That's the second year they've not invited me to their Christmas Party. They even hold it miles away from home, just to make sure I don't attend. I just don't thinks they loves me anymore. After all I've done for them, they laughed in me face as they sped off from that there Memorial Groond yesterday. All in their fancy dress costumes and that. Even Nile went with them and they donnae even like him! Only me old mate Tims spared a thought for me. The rest of them, if truth be told, couldnae give a monkeys.

I think its time to move on. Ron was meant to meet me today, but when I arrived at Starbucks, he was already there, chatting to that Chris Powell fella and Adam Bassett. I had me face pressed sadly at the window, looking in. I couldnae face the rejection, so I walked home and thought I'd cheer meself oop by doing what I did as a lad back in South Shields and built meself a snowman. I used a carrot for a nose and a twig for it's hand. Reet cheered me oop. At least me snowman cared aboot me, until I looked oot of the window and the twig had turned in it's snowman hand and was giving me the two fingered sign! :sad:

This has all come aboot after that dreadful performance yesterday. I even got a call from that fella who hasn't missed a game for 1500 matches. Even he said he can't watch that dirge anymore. I promised to give the supporters their money back, but I cannae afford to do that. I still owe those pints an all. I feel like a fraud, but I'm just being brutally honest.

I even called that fella who I saved from jumping off the Humber Bridge. See if he'll cheer me oop. Told him I made the worst decision of me managerial career yesterday. He said "What, worse than signing Jozy Altidore on loan, thinking he'll save yer from relegation!". I says, yep. I'd left me mate Tims oot of the side. He's been me key player this season. So much so, that I forgot to bring him on as a sub yesterday. I says "You know what's the most depressing thing?" and he asks, what? .. I says I've run oot of people to blame. There's only one person left and that's meself.

He says he thinks I shouldnae do that as I've done me best and me hearts in the reet place. Maybe things will turn aroond, as they did for him.

Somehow, I'm not so sure!
 
Friday 15th December 2017

It's been a sad week, as I have to report the passing of me snowman - Ferdy. I calls him that, as he didnae move for three days, fell over and then melted away. Just left a carrot and a twig lying there forlornly on me grass. It kind of signified how I've been feeling lately, I haves to say.

But, I'm back on the game again and looking forward to tomorrow's match as it's me old mate CW McCall's side that are coming to town. Of course, CW wrote that song about a convoy back in the 70's. Loves telling me all aboot it, he does. How he made loads of money and all that, singing aboot Chicken Coops, Bears and Rubber Ducks. Tell yer the truth, I donnae know what he's going on aboot. I wasnae interested in that there CB radio when I were a lad. Had better things to do with me time, like hanging oot at Roxanne's nightclub oop there on the Ocean Road. Yer now, just along from The Glitter Ball there in South Shields. Met me first lass there. Remember it well. It were old Rita Graydon from the Wallsend Estate. Champion times. The DJ had said he was gonna play me favourite from Saturday Night Fever so I asks her to dance as I thoughts it were gonna be "How deep is yer love" but he only went and played "Disco Inferno" so I had to show off me John Travolta moves. Made Rita laugh it did and I'd won her over. Maybe I should have learned from all that and gone for the entertaining route more often.

I tells yer all this because I noticed on that Shrimpermoan that they were talking aboot their first ever matches and it was Rita I took to me first game the following day. A 0-0 draw at home to Hereford United. Bored senseless I were and so was she. Not a shot on goal and it were freezing cold. August it was. But all that great defending got me reet into football and I've never looked back. Sadly me and Rita parted company when I suggested our second date was a trip to Carlisle for the day. She must've looked oop the fixtures. Canny lass, she were.

Anyway, where am I going with all this, eh? .. I donnae know meself, to be brutally honest, so I'll bring us back oop to date.

Sheffield United have upped their bid for Lenny by another £50.00 and Chris Wilder has promised to put a good word in for me when the Sheffield Wednesday job comes oop, so I says that's good enough for me. Sadly, it were good enough for Ron, as well, so I thinks we might be saying goodbye to a valued member of the set-up here .. and Lenny, as well!

I guess you've all heard that Cokes is back and raring to go. To tell yer the truth, his leg is still in plaster and he can barely walk, but I think i'll put him in the team ahead of Henders! .. Tough, I know, but difficult decisions need to be made.

Well, I better be off as I need to inspect the pitch for tomorrow. I'm told it's been massively improved since the last game and shouldnae cut up for at least the first 6 minutes!
Keep the faith! :happy:
 
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"It's been a sad week, as I have to report the passing of me snowman - Ferdy. I calls him that, as he didnae move for three days, fell over and then melted away. Just left a carrot and a twig lying there forlornly on me grass. It kind of signified how I've been feeling lately, I haves to say."

Andy my Tomato soup has gone all over the place as I sit at my work station ****ing myself with laughter, absolute priceless line . I really hope the players have a sense of humour reading this
:thumbsup:

UTS
 
Just as an aside, I thought I'd make up some nightclub names for South Shields yesterday, but those places actually still exist! :thumbsup:
 
Tuesday 19th December 2017

It's the Junior Blues Christmas Party today. Something I always used to look forward to .. I says, used to, as this year I was expecting to play me normal role of Father Christmas for the kids, but for some reason I didnae get the Santa Sack, as I was expecting. Ron says he cannae give it to me this year. Not after last year. I means, I've doon everything possible to get it and still they ignore me. I donnae know what's got into them, but Ron says I've been stood doon after last year's party.

I'm telling yer, it wasnae me fault last year, either. I turns oop with me elves, Nile and Macca, and immediately there were a bad atmosphere in the room. The kids were all sitting there on the floor, so I walks in with me presents over me shoulder and does me usual "Yo-Ho-Ho Merry Christmas" bit, when one of thems comes oop and pulls me beard off! .. Then another one says "You're not a real Santa!" and I says "What makes yer say that, son?" .. and he says "Cos you smell!" and they all laughed. Then another one says "Yeah, you don't know what you're doing. You're stupid!" .. Before I gets a chance to say something, I hears "Yeah and how comes you've got a suntan when you live in the North Pole?!" .. "And your elves are too tall for starters. One of them's even got a beard!" .... I were starting to get reet angry when they comes reet oop to me face and says "You're a fraud" .. "Yeah and a self-grandioising narcissist!" .. Blimey, I thoughts. These are bright for 3 year olds! .. So I asks them where they learned all that lingo and they said last year's elves, Ferdy and Coxy, told them to say it .. I was in a reet old rage and shouted "Reet you lot, you're a disgrace and you're not getting any presents!" .. and I kicked one of the toys, a signed football, against the wall. At this point Nile steps forward and asks if he can claim the presents, as the kids weren't getting them, before Macca points out that he saw them first and they start arguing with each other. .. Just when things were calming doon, the party organizer marched over and only went and sent me off home! .. I couldnae believe it. As I were leaving, all the kids were laughing and pointing at me, so I turned roond and told them I were reporting them all to the FA! .. I asks yer, I mean, I didnae do anything wrong!

Well, you all know by now that me old mate Steve Widget has moved on. He was doing a sterling job the 4 days he were here, but I guess he'd taken the club as far as he could. Funnily enough, I heard Ron saying those exact words on the phone the other day to someone, when I was walking past the office door. Guess he must have been talking aboot old Steve, as well!

I'm off to get me Christmas presents this morning. I've gots three to get. For Scunthorpe, Charlton and Shrewsbury. Bradford opened theirs early and were reet pleased with what I'd gift-wrapped for them!

Enjoy the fesitivites everyone and remember, a manager's job is for life, not just for Christmas! :thumbsup:
 
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Just love this thread well done AndyT/PB, brings a big smile to my face every time I read it. :smile::smile::smile:

Could this thread not be made a sticky so no one misses it?
 
Just love this thread well done AndyT/PB, brings a big smile to my face every time I read it. :smile::smile::smile:

Could this thread not be made a sticky so no one misses it?

No need. It is (rightly) never far from the top!
 
This has replaced the Adventures of Chocolate Orange as 2nd favourite thread for me (sorry G!) :smile:
 
Its one of the reasons, people should stop issuing Phil Brown Out topics on here

Once he's gone, the best thread will cease

UTS
 
I really don't know which thread is your favourite? Maybe it should be a new thread to talk about what everyones fave thread is. I wouldn't have a clue what mine is to be honest

Very off topic, but obviously the Live Chat Thread was my favourite!
 
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