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DTS

The Business
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
16,175
Location
In a world of my own.
Same as the other thread but a side you hated. Had to go 4-3-3 as hated so many attackers

GK - Mark Prudhoe - Northern, fat, useless - what was to like

DF - Martyn Booty - Long ball merchant, useless, slow....ugh
DF - Dave Morley - Committed but tolilet. As bad upfront as he was at the back
DF - Simon Coleman - Bit harsh but ran out of defenders. Bit bald, Northern, fairly useless.
DF - Peter Gilbert - Long ball merchant, northern, moaner...just hated him

MD - Gordon Connelly - totally crap bar one 45 min spell
MD - Nicky Bailey - Loved him at the time hated him after the event. Filth.
MD - Mark Rawle - Sell out slag....Mrs smoked...Just didn't like him.

AT - Richie Foran - Thought he was the dogs bollocks. Waste of space
AT - Billy Painter - Not really his fault but too Northern. Even had a northern haircut....
AT - Graeme Jones - Just seeing him on MOTD even now makes me swear. hated him.


Manager - Steve Thompson - Mullet, Dodgey eyes, looked like a sex offender. Lucky to have chance to get the job, did a decent job and then cleared off as soon as he could taking Gary Jones with him.

Subs -
Alex Revell - Tried hard but useless but fans loved him as he was good at cooking ,
Nigel Pepper - Looked like a northern factory worker,
Andy Rammell - never felt he tried or wanted to be here,
Brett Darby - feeble winger
Martyn Margetson - Was just crap and fat.
Barry Conlon - **** and dirty
Phil gridlet - Decent enough player but thought we was better than we was. Embarrassing "contact lense gate" brought shame on the club.
 
GK - Mark Prudhoe - fat and useless

Def - Nicky Nicolau - he played for Arsenal don't you know.
Def - Scott Malone - he was terrible and when warming up he used to constantly spit and it wound me up.
Def - Bilel Mohsni - could of been great shame he is a ****.
Def- Ryan Cresswell - that stupid red card last season and being home sick (unless the right players come in)

Mid - Alan McCormack - found him a bit arrogant.
Mid - Stuart Thurgood - not sure why but just never really liked him.
Mid - Jean Francois Christophe - have you got back to the premiership yet?
Mid - Stuart O'Keefe - I just didn't like him and thought he was massively over rated.

St - Matt Harrold - those celebrations when scoring against us and I never liked him.
St - Tony Richards - he was utter cack.

Manager - Alan Little

Subs: Alex Revell, Lee Sawyer, Matt Paterson, Stephen Clark, Johnny Herd

I really struggled with this but some were easy but others it took a lot of thought.
 
How did I forget Scott Malone.....

Ironically your bench contains two of my favourite players in Clarkey and Lee Sawyer.
 
This is far harder to chose than the good XI:

GK - Carl Emberson - Just awful.

RB - Kerrea Gilbert - We don't care that you've played in the CL, you're cack!
CB - Dave McSweeney - for the attempted pass back from inside their half that didn't make it half way!
CB - Jamie Stuart - Absolutely hated this guy.
LB - Peter Gilbert - Annoying long ball

RM - JCR - His failure to do anything productive drove me up the wall.
CM - Stuart Thurgood - the fact some people rated him annoyed me no end.
LM - Stephen Clark - I wonder if he is still dining out on that QPR goal...

CF - Neil Tolson - Not his fault, but he was meant to be great and just got injured.
CF - Graeme Jones - Just the worst player
CF - Matt Harrold - Has more goals at Roots Hall against us than for us.
 
It'll be interesting to see how many 'most hated' are also in the 'most loved' teams. E.g. Dave's got Nicky Bailey here and he was in my most liked and I'm fairly sure my good mate Shrimper in India would have Martyn Booty in his 'most liked'.
 
GK - Mark Prudhoe - fat and useless

Def - Nicky Nicolau - he played for Arsenal don't you know.
Def - Scott Malone - he was terrible and when warming up he used to constantly spit and it wound me up.
Def - Bilel Mohsni - could of been great shame he is a ****.
Def- Ryan Cresswell - that stupid red card last season and being home sick (unless the right players come in)

Mid - Alan McCormack - found him a bit arrogant.
Mid - Stuart Thurgood - not sure why but just never really liked him.
Mid - Jean Francois Christophe - have you got back to the premiership yet?
Mid - Stuart O'Keefe - I just didn't like him and thought he was massively over rated.

St - Matt Harrold - those celebrations when scoring against us and I never liked him.
St - Tony Richards - he was utter cack.

Manager - Alan Little

Subs: Alex Revell, Lee Sawyer, Matt Paterson, Stephen Clark, Johnny Herd

I really struggled with this but some were easy but others it took a lot of thought.

How did I forget Scott Malone.....

Ironically your bench contains two of my favourite players in Clarkey and Lee Sawyer.

Me too Dave, I've had the shirts of two of Ricey's first 11!
 
How did I forget Scott Malone.....

Ironically your bench contains two of my favourite players in Clarkey and Lee Sawyer.

Two of the most frustrating players they both had the talent but wasted it, which is why they have ended up on my list.
 
Gk - Joyce - was absolutely useless and then goes to the MLS and wins sitting on the bench!

RB - Francis - pretty boy, can't defend for toffee
CB - Mohsni - liability, bellend, hated him
CB - Cresswell - home sick? 18 year olds go to uni for three years and survive, you live the dream and get it after a year? At least be honest with us! Hope you fail to go up and we do! Northern tit
LB - Gilbert - long ball, loses possession and moans that it's someone else's fault! Absolute tool

Rm - JCR - all you do is run? So why not become a sprinter?
Cm - bailey - ginger w*nker
Cm - Christophe - Clueless, didn't even know where he was! How he was at a prem club is half way to explaining why Pompey are now league 2!
Lm - Scannell - "I'm better than league 2 so I'm leaving", yeah hope you're having fun at Sutton united! Prick

St - Revell - done nothing for us, misses a sitter vs chelsea and then celebrates against us?
Harrold - next time he celebrates against us I'm drop kicking him over the advertising board
 
GK - Emberson - Toilet

RB - Booty - Toilet
CB - Morley - Toilet
CB - Mohsni - Tw*t
LB - Gilbert - Toilet

CM - Thurgood - Tw*t
CM - Bailey - Tw*t
CM - McCormack - Tw*t

ST - Foran Tw*t & Toilet
ST - Harrold - Toilet
ST - Paynter - Toilet
 
Hard not to base this on ability

Anyway, in a terrible 5-4-1 formation

GK Neville Southall - was a great keeper, but that's no defence when it means he stopped Webb's side knocking out Everton in '92. By the time he got to us that was about the only thing he stopped. One of a number in this side who played in the infamous 5-0 defeat at Carlisle
RB Andy Harris - worth a goal start to the opposition. My attitude towards him has mellowed as a result of his assist for Lawrie Dudfield when he was playing for Chester. Another who played in the Carlisle debacle
LB Che Wilson -in the absence of anyone who brings out the rage in me, I'll go for Che because I still occasionally wake up in the middle of the night with the shakes at the thought of him running backwards shepherding Bullock towards goal in the LDV finals. And then there was that performance at Hillsborough when he was so bad Tilly subbed him at half-time. Nurse, medication!
CB Keith Dublin - pick any season from 1994-99 and watch the season highlights, drinking every time we concede a goal and Dubbers is caught out of position = worst hangover ever
CB Ben Lewis - hee-haw!
CB Mark Warren - can't run, can't jump, can't even stay on the pitch at Canvey. And what the hell was he doing that far upfield at Swansea? Never understood why an ex-Col Ewe AND Orient player was so popular
CM Rio Alderton - I don't care that he gave hope for any aspiring footballers that they could still make it, he was shocking.
CM George Parris - crap AND a Hamster. Terrible combination.
RM Steve McGavin - ex-Col Ewe and dire. See Parris. Missed an open goal which nearly relegated us, until Little(?) rescued us. Almost certainly an agent saboteur.
LM Brett Darby - why?
CF Donkey Broughton - painful to watch. Nearly relegated us to the conference, shorn of him we were promotion material. Only league goal I ever saw him score was at Orient
 
gk a very fat past prime Nev Southall
Peter Gilbert, the moan machine.
Nicklau, lots of chances but no heart.
Cresswell, red card, over rated, home sick?...grow some.
Bramble, lazy, dozy, sex perv.
Phil Gridlet, bellend
Mario Walsh, gutless
Paynter, donkey
Harrold, why not?
Shotgun Roach..............mobster plank.
The spitting Zaboob
Plus any number of Barry Fry's cohort who sodded off with him.
Coach......has to be Robson for the crap he now writes...........and from what I've read/heard Bate.
Owner; Johnson, we have had some bad owners but this guy was the worse by a long long way.
 
GK : John Keeley
RB : Paul Roberts
CB : David Young
CB : David Howells
LB : Peter Gilbert
MD : Kevin Maher
MD : Jamal Campbell-Ryce
MD : Derek Hall
MD : Derek Payne
AT : John Gymer
AT : Jason Lee


I know that Maher was loved by many, but I just didn't like him - though I admire his loyalty, he was just too negative and spent too much time moaning at team mates for my liking.
 
Manager - Alvin Martin - No explanation needed.

GK: Neville Southall - So fat, so past it and so not interested
DEF: Mark Beard - Am I right in saying he won player of the year once? Said all you needed to know about that era.
DEF: David McSweeney - Useless and comedy og vs Orient
DEF: Phil Whelan - See above
DEF: Keith Dublin - Total pony. Was an ever present between 96 and 98. Nuff said.
MID: Damian Scannell - Always injured, little end product but thought he was better than league two. Pr*ck.
MID: Nicky Bailey - Ginger tw&t. Sulked and threatened to go on strike to force 'dream move - part 2'
MID: Steven Clark - So fast but so little ability. Never in 25 years of watching Southend have I seen anyone run the ball out of play so often.
MID: JCR - So much ability, so little product.
FOR: Danny Webb - Complete sh*t.
FOR: Drewe Broughton - Ok, so he scored 'that goal'. Aside from that, absolute gash.

SUBS:
James Walker - we paid money for this guy?!
Osei Sankofa - Tried hard but pony. No wonder we got relegated with him at the back.
Graeme Jones - Big reputation. Big pile of cack
Martin Carruthers - One good season. Over-rated. Missed sitter against Brentford denying LDV final trip.
Mike Marsh - Saw him in Churchils once. Being sick over a table - on a Friday night !
 
Can't say I actively dislike anyone who has turned out in the blue of Southend, why would I?
 
Drastic™;1560500 said:
Can't say I actively dislike anyone who has turned out in the blue of Southend, why would I?

Because some of them were ****, some we paid money for and they didn't care, some actually left in a nasty way and some just because.....
 
Struggled with this one. When I was young ie 1967-80 ish most players were gods so obviously none of them. Any player who got us up the league or kept us there also gets out of jail. That just leaves, mainly the To**ers who were around in the dark days of 97-2005:

Carl Emberson-s**t
Brian Barry-Murphy-hit on my 16yr old daughter a couple of years ago & s**t
Jamie Stuart-Junkie & s**t
Scott Malone-s**t
Mark Warren-s**t
Gordon Connelly-s**t
Mario Walsh-s**t
Mick Gooding- should have retired before we signed him,so, s**t
John Gymer-s**t
Michael Ricketts- so much expected but complete s**t
Drewe Broughton- donkey & s**t

Manager Dick Bate s**t

Subs.
Martyn Margetson, Martyn Booty, Mark Hone, Mark Tinkler, Daryll Sutch, Barry Conlon & Matt Paterson- all s**t
 
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