• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.


  1. Recession? Immigration? No, Women's Football!!

    The country is in a deep recession, masses remain unemployed, the National Health Service is understaffed and immigration is spiralling out of control. Forget all of that, The FA are not doing what they're told! Sports Minister Gerry Sutcliffe took precious time out of his schedule of claiming...
  2. Can of Worms Opened, Europe turns on the Premier League Bully Boys

    Like the Headmaster at a School, FIFA are now rounding up the bullies of the football world and taking them to task... Manchester City the latest club to be investigated for illegal transfer activity. When Lens were succesful in their pursuit of a just punishment for Chelsea FC over the Gael...
  3. South Bank Hank

    David Moyes

    One month ago, David Moyes slates Manchester City for their pursuit of Joleon Lescott claiming, "Real Madrid did their business early buying Ronaldo at the end of last season giving Manchester United time to find replacements. Manchester City have not given us time to find a replacement and it's...
  4. Aberdeen Shrimper

    Teaching Maths!!!

    1. Teaching Maths in 1970 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit? 3. Teaching...
  5. Slipperduke

    Terry's Disingenuous Pledge

    If you ever wanted to capture the essence of modern football in just one page, you could do a lot worse than paying a visit to Chelsea's website. Here, behind the splash of adverts for a new kit that looks more like a women's cycling top than a football jersey, you will find John Terry's...
  6. Haye Prays For A Giant Killing

    When I was at School, there was a bully who was a freak of nature to everybody else... Primarily because he stood at least a foot taller than everybody else with arms bigger than most peoples legs. One day, he took offence to my football hitting him and pushed me to the ground, So I know a...
  7. Sherif H

    Speedway World Cup

    Afternoon all, A quick reminder for any speedway fans otu there that the Speedway World Cup is upon us....simply put, this is made up of two qualifying rounds, with the two winners heading straight for the final, and the 2nd and 3rd placed teams heading for a four-team play-off to decide the...
  8. Interpol Shrimper

    Teaching Maths in the UK

    1. Teaching Maths In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit? 3. Teaching...
  9. OldBlueLady

    Top 10 things we lie about

    Apparently this is the top 10 things we, collectively, lie about. Thought it would be fun to see which on here has been lied about most - anonymously, of course! 1. Age - funny one this, at Eggheads, young Hutton turned round to me and said I thought you'd lie about that! Never occurred to...
  10. TrueBlue

    Think what you like about the BNP

    But some of what they say does make sense... The BBC has pulled an appearance by British National Party leader Nick Griffin on today’s Politics Show at the last moment out of fear that his suggestions for the control of expense claims by members of parliament would find popular appeal...
  11. Slipperduke

    Cheated Chelsea Lose The Plot

    It was a night that should have been memorable for the beauty of Michael Essien's opening goal, but it is a raging Didier Drogba who will linger in the mind's eye. Furious with the referee's failure to award any one of four possible penalties, he shouted and screamed in his face before being...
  12. DTS

    Anyone else being stalked by Spencer Prior.

    In the car today on my way to the Hall and the phone goes off. Witheld number but no worries give it a go. Pick it up and get a pre-recorded message from someone claiming to be Spencer Prior. Now for my mind Spencer Prior is a Southend lad but the voice on the other end was a Harrold Bishop...
  13. bucket&spade.f.c

    Foa obl

    There was some fit young bird who was claiming to be the OBL at Oldham today but talkg on way back we believe it was her very very young sister (about 20) as the OBL was rather run down looking and well over the hill ;) Could you please clarify if this was the case as i would like to date her:)
  14. Sousa sacked

    From bbc sport. Would be intresting to see what did happen.
  15. steveo

    Neil Warnock

    Idiot. Should have avoided defeat on the last day of the season then.
  16. Benfleet A1

    The world is black

    Quality stuff on Dave at the moment. Nut Nuts in New York claiming the following. Mozart, Black, Cleopatra, Black, Henry the 8th, Black, Jesus was Black but Christopher Columbus wasn't. This is life changing stuff people. Tune in.
  17. Rusty Shackleford

    'The Banter's Not Bad Either'

    I'm pretty sure that the nauseating advertisement with the smug Arsenal supporting pupil mocking his the Spurs loving teacher has been discussed before, it may even have been me who brought it up. The seminal news irony site 'The Daily Mash' has dismantled this tripe better than I ever could...
  18. Slipperduke

    The Fall of Roman's Empire?

    The rumours that Roman Abramovich is attempting to sell Chelsea may have been quickly denied by the club, but when you stack up the numbers, it's all too plausible. Stamford Bridge has been a black hole for the Russian oligarch's cash and, in a year when he's lost so much money elsewhere, it...
  19. Slipperduke

    Clough and Ready

    He didn't pick the team, he didn't give the teamtalk and he didn't mastermind the tactics, but the mere presence of new manager Nigel Clough at Pride Park seemed to inspire Derby County to an unlikely, but fully deserved victory over Manchester United. Clough may be following in his famous...
  20. Baby P......the mother !!

    This womans lawyers are claiming her human rights are being abused!! The lawyers are demanding she has a new ID to protect her from the public. Personally she should have the same protection as she gave her little boy. What happens if/when she meets another bloke who already has kids...