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cows

  1. Cricko

    You have Two Cows.

    TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga} SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you...
  2. Southend's mooted move to Milton Keynes

    Morning good people of SZ, A trip down memory lane to the dark days of the early to mid-1980s, if you will. I'm trying to do some digging for an article for next month's All At Sea. In light of the stealing of Wimbledon's league place in 2003, I gather Southend's chairmen in the early 80s threw...
  3. OldBlueLady

    My Blackberry/Facebook

    Nowt to do with gaming, but a question for people who are far more technically minded than me. I've blocked loads of game requests (and indeed, some people's updates) on FB because I got fed up with people wanting to give me cows and things or finding out who they were following, however, on my...
  4. Describe your journey to work.

    Reading the saddlers thread got me thinking about my bad old days of being stuck in traffic and stuff and made me realise just how damn lucky i really am so i thought how do most zoners travel to work and is the trip as nice as mine. Yesterday i was working half a hour away from home and there...
  5. Cricko

    A Cow based Economics Lesson.

    SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2...
  6. The Craziest Parking Ticket you got or heard of.

    Lorry driver Michael Collins was on his way to collect a skip in London's Belsize Park when the road beneath him collapsed. A burst water main had created a deep hole where the front wheels of his 17-tonne lorry were stuck. While he was waiting for roadside assistance, a traffic warden appeared...
  7. canveyshrimper

    The Australian Army

    Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than...
  8. superblue24

    Latest Rumours Tilly to MK Dons?

    Don't shoot the messenger! Being reported on Shrimpers 24 website via the "MK Citizen" that Tilson has applied for the position at MK.... http://www.southendunited-mad.co.uk/news/tmnw/is_tiily_troubled_enough_to_seek_the_land_of_concrete_cows_522628/index.shtml What do we think? Legs or...
  9. Benfleet A1

    Question If it came to an end, could we really cope?

    I have just finished reading The Day of the Triffids for the umptenth time and it got me wondering. If civilisation as we know it came to an end how would those left survive and due to the technical world we have been brought up in, would that leave us even more worse off. Let me explain. That...
  10. pringlejon

    David Blunkett trampled by a cow.

    MP Blunket injured by cow attack http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8089498.stm Former Home Secretary David Blunkett is recovering after being injured by a charging cow in Derbyshire. It seems even cows are annoyed with this expenses scandal. I feel sorry for his guide dog though. Cue the...
  11. Ricey

    Are you starting to lose it?

    Your Yearly Dementia Test It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your...
  12. Aberdeen Shrimper

    Jockey wins race after 28 years

    A Dorset dairy farmer has ended his 28-year losing streak as an amateur jockey by finally winning a race. Even Anthony Knott's children poked fun at his efforts but the 44-year-old proved them wrong by romping to victory in the 2.30 at Wincanton in Somerset. After achieving his lifelong...
  13. Hotman

    Easy guide to World Politics and Economics

    SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have...
  14. Harold Bishop Killer

    Insurance Claim Form Quotes

    These are brillant! True extracts from UK Insurance Claim forms; These were collected by Norwich Union for their annual Christmas magazine. "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." ----- "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I...
  15. fbm

    So how bad is it really?

    For the first time in many seasons, fbm is worried. It definitely now feels as though we have been relegated rather than just not going up, and our total inability to stride past these non league teams in cruise control has me worrying what may happen if we lose heavily at Wycombe on Saturday...
  16. Firestorm

    Health and safety gone made

    Is the cry we are often hearing these days. Could this be one of the reasons why ? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/7474468.stm What next, beware of the cows signs on a Farm ?
  17. Slipperduke

    England Pass Test...Eventually

    They call Fabio Capello, ‘the hardman of Italian football’ and on Thursday morning he showed us all why. The iconoclastic boss had already demonstrated that there are no longer grazing rights here for sacred cows by refusing to give David Beckham a mercy-cap, but he went on to shatter egos and...
  18. C C Csiders

    Female TV presenters..............

    ..............that you think will be dirty cows between the sheets (or wherever the fancy takes them): For me I reckon that: Penny Smith; Mariella Frostrup; and Carol Kirkwood would go like knives.
  19. C C Csiders

    Three Mingers you would................

    .............to quote DtS, 'nail'. I will kick off with: 1. Amy Winehouse 2. Tracey Emin 3. Mutya Buena (former Sugababe) Just think all 3 are almost so ugly that they have something stragely attractive about them (similar to when Liz Minelli was younger (c. Cabaret, 1973). Add to that I...
  20. ldnfatso

    Econonics in Cows

    Economic Models explained with cows- 2007 update SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State...
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