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  1. Fours, Fives, Sixes and Sevens at Roots Hall

    Can you believe that we've only scored 5 goals in a league game at Roots Hall twice in the last twenty years. The last time was over ten years ago against QPR in Feb 2007 5-0 when Kev put two stoppage time goals past Roycie and the time before that was against Bournemouth 5-3 in March 1998...
  2. Publish and be damned

    Something has been bothering me over the Charlie Hebdo cartoons that have caused to much grief of late...and why I believe in a free press and OBVIOUSLY condemn any hostile action in relation to them or any other piece of journalism/art, I have to say that some of the cartoons have gone beyond...
  3. serious points

    i am being serious and not having a dig at any one with these i just cant belive some stuff i read on here so want to know are people being serious or just born to moan people who dont wanna come any more ect fine dont come we wont hold it against you how awful it is lately but why put that on...
  4. Breaking News Another Protest Campaign

    I am planning to launch an anti Saint Chris Philips campaign at tomorrow night's game. All welcome to join - I will be the chap in the West Stand with a bright orange Afro wig and plus fours
  5. pickledseal

    Breaking News Revelling In It - 15/7/09

    Revelling In It Revelling In It This week starring: Alan ‘Peter Jones’ McCormack Steve ‘I just love football’ Parmenter Adam ‘Blue blood runs through my veins’ Barrett Anthony ‘Rocky Balboa’ Grant Steve ‘Big Bird’ Mildenhall An introducing (again)….. Lee ‘Birdsnest hair’ Sawyer Personally...
  6. Slipperduke

    Things Could Get Messi

    Whenever there's a hurricane warning in Florida, the news stations show the same footage. Plucky Americans frantically nailing two-by-fours across their windows, occasionally turning round to look in trepidation at the gathering storm behind them. From the safety of your own front room, you...
  7. sufc_tom


    Email I got... Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why does someone believe you...
  8. Hypnosis

    Last night I was out with a few of the lads, proving to be my last Uni night out before I get back to Southend for the summer. Had a few drinks at one of the lads houses, a few cracks at "The Boot", and then off to the club at around 11. Bassment, the club, have been doing Stock Exchange for a...
  9. A Bit Of Fun ..........*Why?*

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when...
  10. Bob Cratchitt

    A strange request

    As some of you know I am tread the boards regularly, and this time of year of course is Panto season. Now due to a wardrobe malfunction we are short of a particular type of clothing. So i am asking the SZ.com population whether they can help out in my hour of need? I am looking for a pair of...
  11. DTS

    Worst School Trip ever.

    Mrs DtS neice is off on a school trip today. This got me thinking back to my school days (Yes I did go to school) and about some of the crap school trips we went on. I think possibly the worst one I ever went on was when I did A-Level Geography - a field trip to Whitby. The trip itself was a...
  12. Ponder These

    Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents...
  13. Yorkshire Blue

    Hoggy, Hoggy, Hoggy!

    The great man is 51* and seems to have his eye after Michael Vaughan's spot at the top of the order. He's keeping pace with Younis Khan (60*) and has hit 6 fours. Hampshire have Warne and Stuart Clark bowling, so its not a bad attack he's scoring them off. Certainly overshadows Monty's 33...
  14. Uncle Leo

    Dog rapes man?

    Got sent this by a friend. Unbelievable.... News from Yorskhire Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post: "A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend...
  15. Matt the Shrimp

    Essex v. Yorkshire

    Afternoon everyone... Yes, it's back - it's the County Championship... and we're playing Yorkshire at Chelmsford. They won the toss, elected to field, and we've moved at a steady rate to 77/1 off 35 overs. Big Will Jefferson has already notched his first half-ton of the...