• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.

knife

  1. Harold Bishop Killer

    What a Amazing Story

    This is such a heart warming story. Dont normally like them but this one is special. In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University On a hike through t he bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The...
  2. Slipperduke

    Slipperduke's Mission To Millwall

    With a few edits, this is what the good people of Singapore will be waking up to tomorrow. MtS had a very lucky escape in being cut out of the final edit. 500,000 people could have found out exactly what his idea of a pre-match meal is... As a mere, and very occasional, foot soldier of the...
  3. Matt the Shrimp

    Totty Cup - round 1, half-time scores

    Well, at half-time in the cup competitions... Back in the club-house, supping a glass of bubbly and planning their assault on round 2 Holly Vallance (defeating Emma Rigby) Melissa Theuriau (defeating Denise Richards) Keely Hazell (defeating Jennifer Ellison) The home side is feeling comfy...
  4. chadded

    Get your coat love.....

    I've got a knife. Shamelessly copied from Facebook.... IS that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" "It's a gun, get your coat." -- "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Chloro" "Chloro who?" *thud* "Chloroform" -- "Do you come here often?" "No" "You do, because I've been following...
  5. Late substitutions - why?

    Apologies if this has already been said but can anyone explain to me why after calling Black from warming up along the touchline it took another 10 minutes to get him on the pitch as substitute? What was the reason for the delay? With that heat we needed some fresh legs and the 10 men out there...
  6. Sat Starting XI ?

    Just got back from B&L and the only players over there were Daryl, Gilbert, AB, Clarky, Kev, Macca, Gower, JCR, Harry and Hoops, oh and Collis. Throw in another fullback (Cheese?) and we could have the team for Saturday. Anyway, you are unlikely to see them tinight at Chelmsford. Clarky...
  7. Superheros

    When I return to Uni its a friends birthday, obviously there is a theme and in this case it is superheros. There are probably going to be loads of Batmans/Supermans etc so my question is if you could be any superhero who would you be and why? I think I would probably be Wolverine from X-Men...
  8. Bielzibubz

    An open letter to Procter & Gamble

    This was posted on a site i visit quite regularly. Absolutely fekin hillarious and 100% genuine. AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their...
  9. The General

    Wimpy

    Opens tomorrow for anyone interested. Looks very nice inside (comfy chairs too) actually and its always good to have a knife and fork with your fast food!! Kev
  10. Bit Bored

    Rejected Hallmark Cards "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:... -- What was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day!... -- Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful as...
  11. fbm

    Who's optimistic then?

    Sadly not me, for once. I’m past all the tension now. I’m resigned to whatever happens, happens – and for once I have absolutely no expectations or optimism. I fear that yet another home match is going to end in a party for the visiting fans, a la Torquay last season and Yeovil this. In some...
  12. Hockley_Blues

    LDV Final vs. Wrexham

    Seeing as i'm now past the 'getting depressed for several hours every time I think of the result' phase, I finally got round to framing some pics I ordered from the Echo. And after a good few hours labour, here's the result. I've got a good few cuts from my bloody craft...
  13. This Sat

    COCA-COLA LEAGUE TWO UPS AND DOWN By Ross Heppenstall, PA Sport A quartet of clubs harbour hopes of being promoted from League Two as champions this weekend - but not one of them is even guaranteed to go up automatically. Here, the Press Association looks at the games left, the key men and the...
  14. canada shrimper

    it's a war

    Well war has broken out over here in Canada.The wife obviously had so little faith in us getting to the final she is now going back on her offer of letting me go   .We haven't spoken with out heated exchanges for nearly a day and a half.we have now come up with a solution though.At the moment...
  15. Dean Austin

    "Following the resignations of Tony Theo and Tony Turburville; Chairman Ron Higgins has got his knife out and sacked manager Dean Austin and first team coach Gerry Murphy. It is rumoured that he will be appointing one of his cronies, Neil Sillett, as Dean's replacement. Neil...
  16. Davros

    Releases over next few weeks

    February 14th Aberfeldy - Love Is An Arrow Angel City - Sunrise (Data) Atomic Kitten - Cradle Biffy Clyro - Only One Word Comes To Mind Death From Above 1979 - Blood On Our Hands DJ George J ft. Sevynn - Never Gonna Let You Go (Champion) Ed Harcourt - Loneliness Elvis Presley - Surrender...
  17. Why its legendary to be a

    Why its legendary to be a man!!!!! 1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work. 2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even...
  18. Jay Smith

    On the official website: Jay set to go under the knife today! his rehabilitation will take six weeks, by which time he will be training and the club hopes to have him playing for the club again by the beginning of November! I wish you well Jay... come back soon!
  19. The Artful Shrimper

    Transfers stuff

    <span style='font-size:13pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:red'>Leon Goes Posh</span></span>                 25 goal shot shrimper Leon Constantine today signed papers for Peterborough. Posh's Manager Barry Fry sticks another knife in Southend after slimily poaching the Blues striker...
  20. Napster

    Cliff Clavenisms

    They did a study comparing postal workers to chimpanzees. They proved chimps were 32 % slower. Of course, they were better with public relations&quot;; &quot;There&#39;s no rule against postal worker dating women; it just works out that way&quot;; &quot;It&#39;s a little-known fact that the...
Top