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  1. Mad Cyril

    Favourite shop to visit.

    In the 80s it used to be Dixons and Computerama were I got to play on computers but these days it has to be Decathlon in Lakeside. I popped in with the kids yesterday to pick up a few presents for my nephews and managed to fit in a bit of boxing, scooting, football, darts, archery, hula...
  2. Mad Cyril

    Wasps nests

    There appears to be a wasps nest under my lounge floor. I think it is quite a big one because in one minute I counted over 150 wasps entering/leaving the air brick at the front of my house. Any advice? I am a live and let live kind of person but don't want to risk them swarming into my...
  3. shrimperjon

    Dome update

    Just dropped my son off at Boots and Laces as he is playing for Sufc in Kent today. As we are waiting what should pull into the car park but a large lifting JCB. It came in then proceeded to turn round and drive out. Also standing near by was a member of the ground staff. I asked what was that...
  4. Slipperduke

    Italy Stunned By Fiery Pharaohs

    Egypt 1-0 Italy Homos 40 It was the Brazilian legend Pele who once said that an African side would win the World Cup before the year 2000. Sadly, like most of Pele's predictions, it was about as accurate as a John Terry penalty. But if that vast continent can't yet produce a side capable of...
  5. Slipperduke

    Fergie Must Quit

    I have a dream. I have a dream of Rome, May 27. I see Rio Ferdinand lifting the Champions League trophy, I see Wayne Rooney throwing his shirt into the crowd, but most of all, I see Sir Alex Ferguson leaning into a camera crew and, above the roar of the crowd, giving them the scoop of their...
  6. Benfleet A1

    Mobile Phone Theft.

    Took the wife and daughter to Marsh Farm today as a little treat. While I'm on dad duties on the slides and swings the Mrs went off to get a couple of cups of tea. When she came back she gave me a quick bell and slipped her phone in her pocket. Well she thought she did but it looks like she...
  7. Slipperduke

    Liverpool Must Prove Themselves

    It is time. Time to discover whether or not Liverpool have what it takes to be champions. Not champions of Europe, that staggered and seeded competition, winnable with just the right balance of Alamo-style defending and quick goals on the break. Champions of England. A far harder accolade to...
  8. Slipperduke

    Adams Better Off Out Of It

    How thin is the line that divides success from failure? Size zero model thin, if you're Tony Adams. With five minutes remaining in Portsmouth's weekend clash with Liverpool, the former Arsenal defender seemed to have turned the corner. His side were leading the title contenders and powering out...
  9. Slipperduke


    The return of Robbie Keane to White Hart Lane may have brought an end to his miserable six months on Merseyside, but it leaves Liverpool fans with one pertinent question; just what on earth is going on behind the scenes at their football club? On the pitch, in their most important season for...
  10. Slipperduke

    Pre-Match Thread Southend Seek To Add To Scolari's Woes

    Don't panic on the first line, you haven't got the day wrong. This is for tomorrow's paper! Six months ago, who could have believed that Chelsea would see tonight’s trip to Southend as anything other than a formality? For just a brief period at the start of his reign, Luiz Felipe Scolari...
  11. Slipperduke

    Clough and Ready

    He didn't pick the team, he didn't give the teamtalk and he didn't mastermind the tactics, but the mere presence of new manager Nigel Clough at Pride Park seemed to inspire Derby County to an unlikely, but fully deserved victory over Manchester United. Clough may be following in his famous...
  12. Magnum PI

    Ex-Shrimpers League Goalscorers Table: # Week 15

    Charlie Macdonald leaps into fourth place with his goal in a 3-0 win at Port Vale. Other league two goals went to Garry Richards for Gillingham in 4-0 rout of Rotherham. Lewis Hunt grabbed his first of the season for Wycombe in 1-0 win over Bradford. Richie Foran also grabbed his first of...
  13. Slipperduke

    Harry On Up The Table

    What a turnaround! Tottenham Hotspur, who accumulated just two points in over two months with Juande Ramos, have now racked up seven in the last seven days and you can put them all down to the Harry Redknapp factor. The former Portsmouth boss has put a spring in Spurs' step and after two...
  14. Harold Bishop Killer


    1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.' 2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.' 3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe...
  15. Slipperduke

    Euro 2008

    If you're a betting man you'll know that, during an international tournament, there are a few simple rules that will help protect your investment. Firstly, never back England, a nation of drunks who always choke under pressure. Secondly, always expect the home nation to outperform expectations...
  16. Desert Shrimper

    Sporting Double Entendres

    1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." 3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really...
  17. The Flying Scotsman

    ShrimperZone FC 1 - Meet the Players

    Ahead of this weekends final taking place on Sunday (2.30 ko) at Burroughs Park (home of Great Wakering FC), it's time to take a look at the squad which helped the Zone achieve promotion in record time, and which now have their sights set on lifting the famous Andy Ward Section G Trophy. It...
  18. sufc_tom

    Lewis Hunt

    I don't know if he was just p***ed off about not playing in the first team but to me he didn't seem to give a flying f*** about winning the trophy and he also showed no enthusiasm about lifting the trophy
  19. Winkle

    Evening classes for the lads!

  20. Slipperduke

    Poor old Spurs

    Juande Ramos' tilt at a third successive UEFA Cup ended in heartbreak at The Philips Stadium when Pascal Chimbonda dragged his spot-kick wide of the goal and sent PSV Eindhoven through by the narrowest of margins. Despite 210 minutes of football, these weary gladiators had to be separated by a...