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  1. Interpol Shrimper

    Essex Police last Sat

    Anybody seen this? Not seen it mentioned (if it has, please ignore)
  2. canveyshrimper

    Don't read if you are of a nervous dispostion

    A true story and its source was the Australian Quarantine Inspection Service in Adelaide. A bloke and his family were on holidays in the United States and went to Mexico for a week. An avid cactus fan, the man bought one-metre high, rare and expensive cactus there. On arrival back home...
  3. shrimperman


    Unfortunately another unashamed request for help! Was trying to help fix my sisters computer, shes tried updating Itunes to the new version. In the process of doing so, her computers crashed so the update has got half way through and stopped. Now her computer won't allow her to sync her ipod...
  4. ian_the_girth

    New TV or not ?

    What to do ?? I currently own a Thorn 14" portable TV, about 3 months ago it stopped showing in colour. it doesnt matter if you watch a video or dvd, or even teletext. all have no colour. i tried everything to fix it, hitting, slapping, dropping & yeh even cleaning it !! So now i have a...
  5. Family stand - swearing

    Any chance the swearing can be stopped in the family stand? It's frankly embarrassing to hear the individuals do it and also the marshals to simply ignore it. If you want to swear and taunt the opposition then sit in near the North stand. Idiots.
  6. Icesave

    Stopped withdrawals http://www.icesave.co.uk/ :stunned:
  7. sufc_tom

    Betsys Blog

    What's happened to it? I thought it was every week, every Thursday but it seems to have stopped as it wasn't on the OS last week and today? Anyone know anything about it?
  8. Clarke, who are you kidding?

    http://www.southendunited.premiumtv.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10444~1386972,00.html No, Peter, it's just about time you stopped pushing people in the f*cking box giving away stupid penalty's mate...
  9. Sean 2

    Steve Mildenhall....

    Come on Steve,get yer chin up! You looked affected by the goings-on last night and i'm praying that you can put the abuse behind you and show just why Tilly brought you in. Danny Graham must be stopped on Sat so we need all of the team bang on their game,especially our 'keeper! Keep on...
  10. McCormack - Captain?

    Am I the only person who think that Macca should be given a go as captain when he is fit? I love Barrett but i just think he is struggling to motivate the players and he should have stopped the heads dropping yesterday
  11. DoDTS

    Preview of my New Book

    MY Life as a Shrimper PART ONE 1952 to 1976 I have been asked to give a Preview and the following is a short review of PART One of the newly published Book “My life as a Shrimper” The story of my personal journey supporting Southend United. The story starts with my birth in 1952. I was born...
  12. Kenny

    Sir Bobby Robson

    a real shame but it seems to have been on the cards for a while. From the Sun website. ----------- BOBBY ROBSON has won countless battles during a career which has earned him a permanent place in the nation’s hearts. But his latest fight, sadly, will be his last. English football’s favourite...
  13. Harold Bishop Killer

    Insurance Claim Form Quotes

    These are brillant! True extracts from UK Insurance Claim forms; These were collected by Norwich Union for their annual Christmas magazine. "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." ----- "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I...
  14. Ron Manager

    Hottest Burger In The World (some rude words)

    This is in Brisbane, shall I have a go when I get there in a months time and report back? Yeah, like f*** I will! was digging around the zGeek forums the other day when I stumbled across one of the funniest post-hot-food-eating articles I've ever read. "Cranky" had heard about the "Off the...
  15. Slipperduke

    Claude Makelele

    When Roman Abramovich first pumped Chelsea full of roubles in 2003, it sparked a frenzied shopping spree that would have put Coleen Rooney to shame. Hundreds of millions of pounds were splashed out on an array of talent, but I very much doubt if any of it was put to better use than the £16.8m...
  16. The General

    Week 2 pops!

    A good week here! Craig Browne - 21 yo, BT Rating=69,627 RH Batsman, RH Spin Bowler, respectable batting form, superb bowling form, sublime fitness. A defensive player with abysmal leadership skills and woeful experience. Stamina: competent Wicket Keeping: exceptional Batting: quality...
  17. Benfleet A1

    Diary of a Shrimper in Devon

    Saturday (Early) The alarm went off bang on 5 and hit the wall at 1 second past, my reflexes are still pretty quick even at this god awful hour. Get up and stand on clock. Scream and kick clock. Scream louder as I remember I have nothing on my feet. Clock looks all smug as I limp to the...
  18. scrounger

    Smart A*se of the Year Award

    *6th Place* It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 'What are my choices?' the man asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied...
  19. ldnfatso

    Doctors Secretaries mistypes

    Some of these are absolutely classic - restores your faith in the NHS! These are sentences typed (wrongly) by medical secretaries!!!! 1. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 2. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably...
  20. Benfleet A1

    A Little Help

    Does anyone know a Sealey Tools stockist locally. Halfords used to but have stopped selling their lines which is a pain. Anyone know who else stocks this brand?