• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.

C C Csiders

Life President
Joined
Apr 27, 2005
Messages
12,192
Location
On the journey to spiritual enlightenment (via the
I can see the following happeniong in 2006:

In politics: A year of woe for the government as the economy slows, and unemployment starts to rise. Inflation will remain at around its current level. However, doubts will arise, as to Gordon Brown's suitability to take the helm from Tony Blair (who will remain PM for the coming year). Alistair Darling will emerge as Blair's possible successor, leading to much in-fighting within the Cabinet. A return to some union unrest may emerge towards the winter.

Meanwhile under David Cameron's fledgling leadership the Conservative Party will rise staedily in the polls and will lead by c.10% in the opinion polls by the autumn of 2006.

Charles Kennedy will be ousted as leader of the Lib Dems in a coup to be replaced, pro tem, by Menzies Campbell, in time for the autum Conference season.

Overseas, a personal scandal may break around one of Europe's more established leaders.

In Royal news, Prince Charles will finally announce that he will, on succession to the throne, be known as King George VII.

Two Royal deaths make this another annus horribilis for the Queen.

In the world of entertainment Linford Christie will emerge triumphant in Strictly Come Dancing. Madonna will gain British citizenship. Woody Allen will win the Oscar for best Director at the Academy Awards. The Christmas No. 1 in 2006 will be by Kylie Minogue, who will re-emerge following her cancer scare. Rolf Harris will be knighted in the Queen's Birthday honours, as will Bob Hoskins.

A well-known radio 2 presenter will die during 2006.
ghostface.gif


In news Mount Etna will errupt (again). An earthquake will cause extensive damage, and loss of life in Iran, sparking fears of a US invasion, to take advantage of the situation. This will NOT happen, however.

In sport: England will lose to Brazil, in extra-time, in the World Cup semi-final. Ronaldo will score the winner, having come off the bench in a 1-0 win. Brazil will then lose in the Final to Italy who will win 1-0 in a lifeless Final.

Barcelona win the Champions League by beating holders Liverpool 4-1 in the Final.

A leading Premier$hite manager will find himself in hot water over a sex scandal, which will eventually lead to his resignation.

Chelsea win the Premier$hite (at least I'll get something right). Reading, Leeds United and Crystal Palace replace Sunderland, WBA and Fulham in the Premier$hite. In an exciting FA Cup Final Tottenham beat Manchester United 3-2.

Roger Federer wins Wimbledon once again, and Tim Henman announces his retirement following his quarter-final reverse to the eventual Champion.

The Grand National is won by the French trained Innox at 14-1.

Oxford and Cambridge Universities, once again, compete in the Final of the University boat-race.
wink.gif


Having lost the series in Pakistan in 2005, England's cricketers share honours 1-1 with India, and then defeat Sri Lanka 2-1, and Pakistan 3-0 in the two summer series, before departing to Australia for the Ashes. England win the first Test in Australia, before losing the second. The series is tied 1-1 going in to 2007.

Any more predictions (serious or frivolous)?
 
I predict Pete Doherty will be found dead in a shabby flat crack house.

Michael barrymore will attempt an overdose.

Gary Glitter will be beaten to near death by "hooligans" in thailand.

Someone will get killed in eastenders.
There will be a lesbian kiss in corrie.

the soviet union to protect its sources will begin to shut off its gas pipeline servers.
Opec will squeeze output on oil to bump up the price as a result.
george bush will declare war on the first Middle eastern nation to upset him, and thus take over their oil fields.

My computer will keep on crashing and farting and I will become more and more of a ludditte.

Two prominent Tories will be caught cottaging in Hamstead heath.

The Duke of Edingburgh will finally be acknowledged as having "Mike Baldwin" disease.

Botox is found to cause some previously unheard of disease.

madonna is seen walking around with a face full of wrinkles.

Uncle Ron submits plans~revised~ to the council in late Autumn
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (The Artful Shrimper @ Jan. 03 2006,13:04)]I Uncle Ron submits plans~revised~ to the council in late Autumn
the most ridiculous of the lot. it will be by the end of 2005. Oh.
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Napster @ Jan. 03 2006,13:14)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (The Artful Shrimper @ Jan. 03 2006,13:04)]I Uncle Ron submits plans~revised~ to the council in late Autumn
the most ridiculous of the lot. it will be by the end of 2005. Oh.
What's to say he hasn't.

He isn't obliged to come on here and let us know, is he?
 
In Football

Chelsea win the Premier$hite by March. Manchester United finish 2nd by 25 points. However Jose Mourinho is caught in a sex scandal with roman's wife - Jose is never seen again. Harry Redknapp becomes new Chelsea manager with Clive Woodward taking over at Portsmouth. Sunderland are relegated with 7 points, along with Birmingham and Arsenal!

In Championship, Reading and Sheffield United are promoted. Sheffield Wednesday draw up a plan to combine the two sheffield clubs. Leeds are promoted back to the prem. Milwall name their 19th manager of the season in April but still get relegated on the last day when Steve Claridge scores for Luton in the last minute!

In League 1, Southend win the title on goal difference on the last day of the season as 15 teams are equal on 69 points. Swansea and Huddersfiled also join them in the championship. Eastwood is tracked by Arsenal as a replacement for Henry who leaves to go Barcelona but Freddy says he rather play for a team not going bankrupt. Fossets Farm foundations are eventually laid, but thats where is stands for 7 years.

In league 2, Wycombe, Orient, Maccesfield and Carlisle are all promoted after a Russina billionaire buys Carlisle. He then sells the club to a larger producer. the following season they are named Carling United.

Grays win promotion to the football league. Unmfortunately they start 2006/2007 season with only youth players due to Southend buying all their squad!

At the world cup England make the final only to lose to an goal by Ecudaor in the last minute when Ferdinand loses his man after trying to work out how many 0's there are in his win bonus. Sven Goran Erikisson signs a ten year contract!
 
Sunderland string together an undefeated run of one game but sadly are relegated needing snookers.

Chelsea win the Prem & Champs League. Alex Ferguson is sacked, and Arsene Wenger is knighted.

Sam Allardyce goes to charm school and Harry Redknapp tells the truth (we can all hope!!).

Reading win promotion by the end of February. With Leeds taking the other automatic spot and Palace via the play offs.

Southend win promotion along with Swansea & Col******r via the play offs to guarantee us 6 points at least 2006/7. Tilly wins the freedom of Southend and manager of the millennium awards.

England lose to Trinidad & Tobago in the World Cup and are home before the postcards, Sven Goran Eriksson is given an extended contracted worth 5 million a year and a season ticket to the Soho Square Cathouse.

Englands cricketers draw the series in India and beat Sri Lanka & Pakistan at home. Before going on to retain the Ashes in Oz.

GB wins a gold medal for falling over at the Winter Olympics.

Tony Blair & George Bush try to engineer a border incident with New Zealand and invade Iceland by mistake, thinking it was a country and not a freezer store.

Stop Press - Canveyshrimper loses 4 stones.
tounge.gif
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Mad Cyril @ Jan. 03 2006,13:25)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Napster @ Jan. 03 2006,13:14)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (The Artful Shrimper @ Jan. 03 2006,13:04)]I Uncle Ron submits plans~revised~ to the council in late Autumn
the most ridiculous of the lot. it will be by the end of 2005. Oh.
What's to say he hasn't.

He isn't obliged to come on here and let us know, is he?
You're talking about Ron, self-publicist extraordinaire and former Olympic bod.

suspect.gif
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Napster @ Jan. 03 2006,14:46)]You're talking about Ron, self-publicist extraordinaire and former Olympic bod.
Blimey... makes him sound like Jeffrey Archer...

ghostface.gif


BTW, former Olympic bod...? Huh?

rock.gif
 
Bristol City relegated on the last day after a vallient but untimately useless winning streak of six games, until the last day, with a 2-0 reverse at the Hall, sending Southend to Selhurst Park and the Stadium of Light next year, and also meaning that the entire West Country is in League 2 next year. Yeovil were relegated in April.

Cheatski win the prem by the London Marathon, Man U finally fire Fergie, who retires, and Arsenal scrap fourth. Wigan comfortably get fifth but "do a Ipswich" and lose to Real Madrid in the Uefa Cup 5-0.

In League 2 Leyton Orient slip away from the pack and finish 11th, Wycombe win it and torquay have the indignaty of being relegated twice. Peterborough lose the Playoff final at Cardiff.

England WIN the World Cup after Rooney bags hattricks against the Germans, French and the Brazilians, winning him the Golden Boot award (may be slightly out there...).

England go unbeaten in Cricket, but the Sky coverage is so shockingly appaling that Channel 4 is given pernament rights to it, including live twenty20 and Totesport league coverage (please let that happen...).

The Queen finally pops her clogs and Prince Charles and his wife die in a unfortunate car accident in the Channel tunnel on the way back from France in July, placing William on the throne.

Tony Blair and George Bush are relieved of command from their respective countries and they both start earning some respect from other countries. Britain and America that is, not Dumb and Dumber.

Wembely is finally finished and is christened with a magnificent Charity Shield game between Cheatski and Arsenal, the latter winning it 5-4 after Reyes nets his perfect hattrick in injury time.

David Beckham finally hands over captaincy of England to John Terry and returns to England with Arsenal, severely annoying the Manchesterian boys.

After the world cup, the Queen's final act is to knight Sven and Beckham and give OBEs to the remaining 22 players. Said players return to clubs and are given freedom of the cities, much to Rooney's delight as it means he can get free pints whenever he wants.
 
I predict a man in Grantham Lincolnshire will find the first speaking sheep.

Lard will become as rare as gold.

and Sinatta will have a christmas number one with a Cure song!
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Jan. 03 2006,18:09)]BTW, former Olympic bod...? Huh?

rock.gif
bronze medallist once wasn't he in the winter olympics


suspect.gif
 
England will win one and draw two of their three World Cup Group games, qualifying in 2nd place behind Sweden before winning their 2nd Round match convincingly.
They'll then lose in the Quarter Finals on penalties.

We will draw 1-1 on the last day of the season and finish 7th, just missing out on the play-offs.

I will fail my three driving tests this year, and end up giving up all together by November.
 
Southend will continue their march up the league sealing promotion at Cardiff in the League one play offs.

Barrington Belgrave and Neville Roach bag the goals in the 2-0 victory v Col Ewe having been re-signed in the January transfer window.

Steve Tilson awarded knighthood of the realm for services to football in Essex.
 
After winning League 1 by a country mile, Southend United Manager Steve Tilson asks the Football League if they could be placed in the play-offs, as he couldn't have a season without a trip to the Millenium Stadium.

The Shrimpers win 5-0 in the final against a Col U side missing several players, as Ron Martin signed up every train from Essex to Wales in the month of May, and the squad had to hitch-hike all the way...

Southend supporters that returned to Essex via Birmingham on the train in 2005 are relieved to find out that the route has been changed, however via Liverpool and Newcastle isn't what they really wanted...

Tilly is given the freedom of Southend, and is given the OBE for services to Football.  

Ron Martin announces that Fossetts Farm will be built - hang on, that is going too far...  
tounge.gif
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Shepherd's Bush Shrimper @ Jan. 04 2006,15:47)]Barrington Belgrave and Neville Roach bag the goals
Bloody hell, if that's all we've got to look forward to in 2006, I may just jump out of the window right now.

ghostface.gif


I predict that:

* I'll get married this year and spend my honeymoon in Africa
* Chelsea will win the Premier$hite
* Reading will win the Championship
* SUFC won't be promoted (ah, but which one...!)
* Orient won't be promoted
laugh.gif

* Blair will still be in No. 10 by the end of the year
* Charles Kennedy will not be leading the LibDems by the end of the year
* King Kong will clean up at the Oscars

That'll do for now...

smile.gif


Matt
 
This will definitely happen, all sport-shops in Glasgow will order in copious amounts of Sweden, Trinidad & Paraguay football shirts & flog them off to mono braincelled anti-English cretins, even though they haven't got a clue as to where these places are geographically in the world. These 3 countries shirts will be replaced by (probably) Poland replicas within 2 minutes of us qualifying for the next stage!

mad.gif
 
I will once again book a holiday that means I'll miss the final match of the season. Oh hang on, I've already done that.....
wow.gif
 
Southend to gradually slip out of contention for an automatic promotion place and go out in the Play-Off semi against a terrifyingly physical Brentford side, egged on by a wild-eyed Martin Allen.

Most Southend fans to insist that we were 'merely looking for consolidation anyway'

Some Southend fans to call for Tilson's head on a silver platter

Liverpool to win the Champions League in an edgy extra-time victory over Chelsea. Winning goal to come off the side of a faintly offside Peter Crouch's temple.

Mourinho's head to explode with the injustice of it all

Sven to quit England after leading England to a QF defeat against Portugal. On penalties. Again.

Allardyce to take reins. 40 per cent of fans instantly dub him Mike Bassett, despite the fact that he's obsessively scientific and hasn't played '44fookin2' since 1994.

Blair to quit after innocuous financial scandal that no-one really understands gets seized upon by the tabloids and carried through to its inevitable conclusion.

New PM Gordon Brown to be referred to as 'dour' by all National Newspapers at least once every other paragraph.

George W Bush to successfully choke to death on a pretzel. Quickly replaced by Dick Cheney and then Jeb Bush. Bush dynasty continues towards inevitable apocalypse

Slipperduke to continue smoking fags in spite of, and perhaps because of, ever-dwindling number of other addicts. Hides inability to quit under heavy cloak of misplaced pride.
 
Southend to get promoted on the last day of the season, after slipping to third in last 3 matches, they manage a 4v0 victory over Bristol City and edge out Notts Forest on goal difference.

England will lose on penalties to Brazil in World Cup Semi, Wayne Rooney will be sent off in Quarters so misses the semi-final and will be hounded by the press like Beckham was in 98. Beckham will announce his retirement from proffesional football.

Andrew Murray will reach the wimbledon final but lose 6-2 6-2 7-5 in the final to Roger Federer.

Liverpool will win the Champions League beating Lyon in the final 1v0 (probably an own goal)

A former Page 3 stunner will undergo a sex change.

In politics, George W Bush will send US troops into Iran. The whole world oppose and George is ousted from the power by Congress and the Senate on Guy Fawkes. He disappears into the ether.

Madame Tusards burns down.

Prince William announces his engagement to some bird i can't remember.

Southend will finish 2006 11th in the Championship

I will get a £4000 payrise
 
SZFC avoid relegation.

Kev Maher wins player of the division award.

ORM makes at least one decent post per week.

Napper buys ORM a drink two years on the spin.

ORM gets rat-arsed at the HK rugby sevens again. (not a prediction, that's already diarised
biggrin.gif
)
 
Back
Top