• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.

Aug 11, 2008
From the Daily Mash, the day after the US Election:

BARACK Obama swept to victory last night as millions of Americans lapped up all that ******** about change.

'Change... Yeah... Sure'​
The Illinois senator made history as the first black American to become President and the 44th man to win the office with a lot of vague platitudes and an army of creepy spin doctors.

He told a crowd of 250,000 supporters in his home city of Chicago: "Remember, change is something that happens in the middle of the night when we're all fast asleep and very often the next morning no-one can tell that anything has actually changed.

"I promised you change you can believe in, I did not promise you change you can actually see."

He added: "You believe in Jesus don't you? Right, but have you ever seen Jesus? Exactly. Just making sure we're all on the same page."

Mr Obama said he would bring about change by working closely with the vast and terrifying multi-national corporations that had funded his campaign and pledged to end the war in Iraq in order to create a much bigger war in Afghanistan.

"But instead of some middle-aged white guy doing it, it'll be me and I'm half-Kenyan. D'you see?"

Bill McKay, a college student from Denver, said: "I can't believe I now live in a country where an African American can be elected to the presidency after spending just $600 million on advertising."

He added: "Give me a hug!"

Meanwhile, in the UK, thousands of people talked about staying up all night to watch the drama unfold, but then didn't.

Martin Bishop, from Oxford, said: "I was going to follow the coverage and have the significance of every result explained to me by Lord Dimbleby but then, at the last minute, I decided to go to bed because I don't care."

Denys Hatton, from Guildford, added: "If your life is such that you're placing all your hopes in a politician, then may I humbly suggest you get yourself a crate of superlager and a cardboard box and stop wasting everyone's time."

Tarquin Fauntleroy

The Blackest White Man In Town
Aug 4, 2008
Afternoon, General.

A splendid post! If I could green you i would, but it won't let me, the slag..

I was also going to stay up and watch, but I ended up getting ****faced and falling asleep face first in a pool of my own sick.

Luckily, it was all dried and sticking to my face when I woke up...

Kind Regards