A few funnies

[SUFCEssex]

Clearing out my desk at work and found the jokes below they are old.

What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
The man who: comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says "you're next fatty."

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says "This is the pig i have sex with when you've got a headache"
wife replies "i think you'll find that is a sheep"
Man says "i was talking to the sheep"

A man walks into his bedroom and see his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks "what are you doing"
she replies " I'm moving to sydney. i heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what i do for free."

Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. when she asks him where he's going he replies, "I'm coming too i want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year.

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

Clearing your desk mate ??

Have they finally wised up to you then lol

 

[MK Shrimper]

Blimey those jokes must have been stuck at the bottom of the desk!

 

[SUFCEssex]

Clearing your desk mate ??

Have they finally wised up to you then lol

not yet. what bothers me is i nipped out to watch the reserves play yesterday afternoon and no one noticed i'd gone.

 

[seany t]

Quick question off topic SUFCEssex:

That programme in your avatar - is it famous? Its just that its one of only about 4 or 5 old ones I have (my girlfriends old man bought me a few) plus it appeared in the Fuel book Match Day programmes?

I don't want to sell it or anything, was just curious if that match held any significance? Or is it a mere coincidence and your first game?

 

[SUFCEssex]

Quick question off topic SUFCEssex:

That programme in your avatar - is it famous? Its just that its one of only about 4 or 5 old ones I have (my girlfriends old man bought me a few) plus it appeared in the Fuel book Match Day programmes?

I don't want to sell it or anything, was just curious if that match held any significance? Or is it a mere coincidence and your first game?

spot on. my first ever game. hold on to the programme as its probably priceless now, although most programme sellers sell it for about 35p.

 

[seany t]

spot on. my first ever game. hold on to the programme as its probably priceless now, although most programme sellers sell it for about 35p.

Will do! Thanks for your help. That book is well worth getting by the way if you've not seen it before:

http://www.fuel-design.com/index.php?menu=3&pic=264&detail=1

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

not yet. what bothers me is i nipped out to watch the reserves play yesterday afternoon and no one noticed i'd gone.

and left when we were 2-1 down

fairweather fan :whistling: :whistling:

 

[SUFCEssex]

and left when we were 2-1 down

fairweather fan :whistling: :whistling:

and glad i did. who wants to see your team score 5 in half hour and batter teams what sort of person do you think i am.:(

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

and glad i did. who wants to see your team score 5 in half hour and batter teams what sort of person do you think i am.:(

Well at least you're not bitter about it mate ;)

 

[SUFCEssex]

Well at least you're not bitter about it mate ;)

me bitter nooo! Austin out!!