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The PL League Boss
Apr 28, 2006
PL Headquarters Hullbridge

A little bit of seasonal ShrimperZone Dickensish rubbish.

It was Christmas Eve and Ebenezer Mohsni was home, alone tucking into his bowl of French Onion Soup mulling over the events of the past six months when he heard a clanking noise coming from another room. He entered the room to be shocked to see an apparition in the corner of the room, a footballer wearing a kit from long ago with a Rebus logo on it and with a long ball and chain behind him. “Who are you and what do you want?” he asked. “I am the ghost of Leo Roget’s career” the spirit boomed out “and I am here to make you change your ways before it is too late, all these bookings and sending’s off are doing the club no good”. Ebenezer retorted but “Leo you are my hero, you certainly did the business. “Did the business, Football was my business” yelled the spirit “You will be visited tonight by three ghosts who will give you one last chance to repent and save your career.

The apparition disappeared and Mohsni blinked and said “bon-bon” it was just a piece of undigested escargot, a dream nothing else and fell asleep. At Midnight Ebenezer was awoken to find Cricko standing in his bedroom. “ I am the ghost of seasons past” (who else could it be), “ Come I will show seasons gone by. Mohsni found himself in Tunisia watching himself kicking lumps out of his young opponents with his parents shooting “get stuck in son” but in Tunisian of course. “Such ‘appy times” said Mohsni, while Cricko gave a knowingly smile. Then he took him forward to Roots Hall with him signing a contract with Paul Sturrock, and then kicking a ball about with the kids at meet the Blues day. “I have been very lucky haven’t I?”. Cricko as always the strong silent type said nothing.

Mohsni woke again “Bon-bon, it was just a dream” he said but with his words barely spoken, the second ghost appeared. I am Canvey Shrimper the ghost of seasons present, “Mon Dieu” said Ebenezer “get on with it then”. CS took him to the home of Blueblood Crachett, and his family including Tiny Tim Blueblood Junior Crachett. “TTBJC said tell me about the trip to Liverpool dad?” “Oh son said BBC, we are not going I’m afraid Mr. Ebenezer Mohsni saw to that. “Will I never go to Liverpool or Wembley?” (well he could start watching Arsenal perhaps). BBC had no answer. The Wise old man of Canvey then whisked them off to the South Upper where Ldnfasto was bragging “If I can driver Gower out then Mohnsi is no problem”. “Non Non” cried Ebenezer “it can not be true. The torturous Canvey had not finished and took him to a small room where a young lad was pondering over a lap top, looking at a poll on Shrimperzone, but Mohnsi eyes looked on in horror when he saw that the poll “Mohnsi stay or go”. “Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu they don’t like me anymore” he cried.

He was awoken again by a third spectre, “Are you the ghost of seasons future for if so I fear you more than the others” Yes” the Old Blue Lady replied come I have much to show you. She took him to Victoria Avenue and the crowds were flocking to Roots Hall, “this doesn’t seem too bad” said Ebenezer “but the ground where is the ground it’s a huge supermarket. OBL took him into the supermarket where he saw himself filling the shelves. “This cannot be true” EM mumbled, but OBL had not finished she took him down Eastern Avenue to Fossetts Farm and into the Southend Hall of fame with the pictures of Best, Garner, Collymore and Eastwood on the wall. OBL pinned up a small picture of McCormack next to them, “but where is my picture?” Mohsni asked. OBL shook her head and pointed to two small boys swopping autographs “Mohnsi for Eastwood no chance” said one “but I’ll swop it for a Che Wilson” “Non Non what have I done cried Mohsni?”

He woke in a sweat and opened the window and shouted to a passing small boy “Garcon, what Day is it?” “Why Christmas Day of course Sir” replied TrueBlue. “Is the large Turkey still at the Butchers?” EM asked, “What the one as big as me” enquired TB, “Don’t be stupid no Turkey could be as big as you it’s just not possible. Just buy the biggest you can find and have it delivered to Blueblood Cratchetts House, and there will be a steak meal in it for you. Also keep your shirt on or you might get stuffed by mistake.

“It’s not too late I can make amends “……..

Or can he?

No offence Bilel we love you really.

No offence intended to anyone else either unless you were the one that drove the Gower out!

Happy Christmas all