As mentioned on the Rob Kiernan saga thread, Phil Gridelet's career may well have been a piece of performance art.
He's going to be my captain in my all-time Southend comedy XI.
Who have I missed?
GK Mel Capelton - Mel holds off professional funnyman Terry Alderton for this role with his unpredictable routines.
RB Andy Harris - a walking audition for Danny Baker's own goals and gaffes, we're still waiting to see if Andy is going to choose to play for England u21s or the USA. His finest moment at Roots Hall was skying a clearance straight up in the air to set up the only goal of the game. Fortunately Harris was playing for Chester at the time and Laurie Dudfield tucked it away.
LB Dave McSweeney - the Sweeney gets in mainly for his ability to switch between the sublime and the ridiculous. Who else remembers the day he first pulled that Cruyff turn out of nowhere? Glorious. No stranger to the own goal either.
CB Bilel Mohsni - Bilel was nothing if not box office. From thumping the pitch to thumping the ball in from 30 yards to thumping the opposition Bilel had it all. If something ridiculous happened you knew he'd be in the middle of it. Who else could after 3 months out for disciplinary reasons be sent off first match back for an accidental flying karate kick?
CB Leo Roget - scoring 35 yard free-kicks in extra time, instigating punch-ups, banging on the Barnet dressing room when they were playing their stereo too loud - Leo was another one in the thick of the action. Who else could have get sent off for impersonating Jerone Boere?
RW Dom Iorfa - a born entertainer. My favourite Dom story pre-dates his Southend days and was during a QPR reserve match when he waited for Ray Wilkins to come over to take a throw-in. He waited until Butch got next to him and then for no reason at all threw the ball over his head and just grinned. Textbook Iorfa that he continued into his Southend career.
LW Ricky Otto - whether being chased by a hammer in Cosenza or trying to nutmeg a defender just to get the defender to lose his temper Ricky Otto played with a massive grin on his face and a real sense of mischief.
CM Phil Gridelet (c) - best remembered for his Andy Rammell contact lens routine, Grids was the quintessential comedy performer. His innocent face after diving/hacking someone down was often worth the price of admission alone.
CM Russ Williamson - I'm pretty certain he must have run through the legs of a gangly defender at some stage of his career. Gets in ahead of Derek Payne in the comedy dwarf stakes despite Payne's Speedie work.
CF Tes Bramble - Tes was another versatile comedy performer. His greatest hits includes hiding from police sniffer dogs behind a hedge, his awesome cameo in goal v Boston and of course an own goal against Orient.
CF Big Bad Barry Corr - I can't actually remember any Corr funny stories but it feels as if there should have been loads and that's good enough for me.
Sub
(1) Bedsente Gomis - the most glorious half hour cameo in Southend history
(2) Gareth Risbridger - the most glorious 60 second cameo in Southend history
He's going to be my captain in my all-time Southend comedy XI.
Who have I missed?
GK Mel Capelton - Mel holds off professional funnyman Terry Alderton for this role with his unpredictable routines.
RB Andy Harris - a walking audition for Danny Baker's own goals and gaffes, we're still waiting to see if Andy is going to choose to play for England u21s or the USA. His finest moment at Roots Hall was skying a clearance straight up in the air to set up the only goal of the game. Fortunately Harris was playing for Chester at the time and Laurie Dudfield tucked it away.
LB Dave McSweeney - the Sweeney gets in mainly for his ability to switch between the sublime and the ridiculous. Who else remembers the day he first pulled that Cruyff turn out of nowhere? Glorious. No stranger to the own goal either.
CB Bilel Mohsni - Bilel was nothing if not box office. From thumping the pitch to thumping the ball in from 30 yards to thumping the opposition Bilel had it all. If something ridiculous happened you knew he'd be in the middle of it. Who else could after 3 months out for disciplinary reasons be sent off first match back for an accidental flying karate kick?
CB Leo Roget - scoring 35 yard free-kicks in extra time, instigating punch-ups, banging on the Barnet dressing room when they were playing their stereo too loud - Leo was another one in the thick of the action. Who else could have get sent off for impersonating Jerone Boere?
RW Dom Iorfa - a born entertainer. My favourite Dom story pre-dates his Southend days and was during a QPR reserve match when he waited for Ray Wilkins to come over to take a throw-in. He waited until Butch got next to him and then for no reason at all threw the ball over his head and just grinned. Textbook Iorfa that he continued into his Southend career.
LW Ricky Otto - whether being chased by a hammer in Cosenza or trying to nutmeg a defender just to get the defender to lose his temper Ricky Otto played with a massive grin on his face and a real sense of mischief.
CM Phil Gridelet (c) - best remembered for his Andy Rammell contact lens routine, Grids was the quintessential comedy performer. His innocent face after diving/hacking someone down was often worth the price of admission alone.
CM Russ Williamson - I'm pretty certain he must have run through the legs of a gangly defender at some stage of his career. Gets in ahead of Derek Payne in the comedy dwarf stakes despite Payne's Speedie work.
CF Tes Bramble - Tes was another versatile comedy performer. His greatest hits includes hiding from police sniffer dogs behind a hedge, his awesome cameo in goal v Boston and of course an own goal against Orient.
CF Big Bad Barry Corr - I can't actually remember any Corr funny stories but it feels as if there should have been loads and that's good enough for me.
Sub
(1) Bedsente Gomis - the most glorious half hour cameo in Southend history
(2) Gareth Risbridger - the most glorious 60 second cameo in Southend history
