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Anybody got any good Comedic Quotes!

BluePartridge

Manager
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
1,700
Is there anybody out there that can make me laugh because I am dieing of nerves!

This is following on from the best Sit Coms thread so there is a cunning link there!
 
“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.”

Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy.

I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper .............I was dicing with death.

I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah. I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.'

Sometimes, I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.
 
I walked into a record shop and asked 'Have you got anything by The Doors'

They said 'yes, a bucket of sand and a fire extinguisher'
 
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