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Jan 11, 2006
Cue friday afternoon, as I quaff my glass of champagne,I glance at the clock in the lounge and notice its 14.15pm

Crikey I bet get myself down the gate for the flight,so I amble myself down to the gate, and introduce myself to Michael and Steven, and then to all of our horror, we notice the flight has a 50minute delay, which could mean that kick off would be missed, anyway after swapping pleasantries with Michael and Steven, its finally chocks away.

Poor Michael is squashed in between two people, and has to remove his cassius clay is champion top, whilst steven is straight to sleep.

I pass the time wondering what the supporters coach will get to the game, and whether they would stop at the services in Newfoundland, and all of a sudden I look out of the window and bermuda comes into view. Sobering quickly and feeling a little light headed after the g and ts, we come to a screeching halt on the runway, its 7.00pm!!!!

Into the customs hall, and rather elderly black gentlemen greets arrivals into bermuda, with lilting and uplifting tunes,

try imagine an old stevie wonder, at southend airport, you get the picture.

Now the original plan was to go with the boys straight to the ground, but their transport was nowhere to be seen, so I press on regardless and jump in cab, festooned in my 2 scarves and large flag, in 90 degree heat.

My very amicable taxi driver, expresses amazement at my journey to the see the mighty blues. But he drops me off outside the ground at 7.40pm, and to my amazement, the kick off has been delayed to 7.50pm!!!!

I hand over my 15 US dollars, and bump into 1 of goaters cousins who invited me to sleep at his house for the night, which I declined as he smelt quite a bit, mind you so did I,.

The ground was very similar in size and shape to Harlows old ground, and Southend Manor. The crowd was around 982

The away support consisted of myself, however amazingly there was 1 southend fan in the ground called steve wallace who had moved to bermuda 1 month ago(not because of shaun goater mind you). the were stands on either side of the pitch and behind each goal its was a high jump pit and the changing rooms which were metal shacks.
I quickly commanded all the programmes for the game, that were printed ie 28 and took up my place in the main stand behind where the management team were sitting.

I seem to have become a celebritiy in bermuda, and many fans came up to pay respect to me. i sat next to CJ a 44 year old rasta jeweller from Hamilton.

The game kicked off at a furious pace, with southend fielding a strong 11, with flahavan particulary strong having to deal with bermudas lively number 8 Keishen Bean, forcing flavs into a couple of saves. The referee who was a 37 year old ecuadorian female midget(who plays for the bermudan nation al womens team)had a particularly bad game, and for me calls into the whole business of female officals, she seemed to have a very liberal view of offsides, and twice flavs had to come off his line to deal with 2 clear offsides. Just before halftime the moment occured, goater played a lovely 1-2 with raynor who put back in the goats path and fired home from 19 yards to make it 1 0 .

Halftime arrived, and I went off to sample the refreshments with consisted of two huge black ladies selling rum, coke and bottles of ice cold beer, and fried chicken.

We all settled down for the second half with the goat, now wearing the red of southend united. on the 50 minute mark, goater rose like a barracuda at the near post from a cross from campbell ryce, to level at 1-1. the next 20 minutes so a period of play that could best be descibed as end to end.

Maher was booked for a bad challenge on coddington, and subsequently booed for the rest of the evening by the crowd

Steede put the homeside 2 -1 up after beating the offside trap and managed to avoid the oncoming keeper.

10 minutes later goater scored a simply fantastic goal which went in off the underside of the bar 2-2. the game started to fizzle out to a tame 2-2. I said goodbye to CJ as he had to go off and feed his goat and chickens. and then with 87 minutes on the clock, following a melee in the goalmouth lawson managed to the ball in, to finish 3-2 to Southend United.

A gaggle of small children then ran onto the pitch to herd the goat, who then came upto me in the crowd specifically to thank me for coming to bermuda!!!.

Steve Wallace who was mentioned earlier, what a top man,allowed me to stay at his place on friday, so it was a quick back to his place, and then straight out to front street for the night. after gulping down some fried chicken rice and 2 slices of garlic bread at a cost of 13 us dollars, it was time to hit the clubs, we bumped into the players who because of their dress code, got refused entry to the pickled onion. So we ascended the stairs to the club, and said goodnight to the players outside.
I awoke this morning(last night when you read this ) had a quick ferry ride across the dockyard and then took the bus to the swizzle inn(where there had been a drive by shooting on thursday!!!)to see the england game, and then took the flight to washington, where I spent the afternoon near capitol hill celebrating national canada day, and looking at the biggest dumper track in the world.

Was it worth it yes it was, where were you Phil Cox!!!