Best fictional postman

[Uncle Leo]

No jokes about The General please...

Early nominations are

Postman Pat

Postman Plod (The Miserable Sod)

Cliff Clavin

Newman

 

[Eastblack]

Hellooooo Neeewman

 

[Mad Cyril]

Newman.

When you control the mail you control........... Information.


I love his business card that simply says "Newman".

 

[Uncle Leo]

JERRY: Hey, I've been trying to jam stuff in the box, like you told me, but sometimes it says, like, "Photographs - Do not bend".

NEWMAN: "Do not bend". (Laughs evilly) Just crease, crumple, cram.. you'll do fine. (Phone rings. Newman answers it) Hello?.. This is he. I don't understand.. very well. (Hangs up in disappointment)

JERRY: What?

NEWMAN: That was the Vice President of the post office. I didn't get the transfer.. They knew it wasn't me doing my route!

JERRY: How did they know?!

NEWMAN: (Stands up) Too many people go their mail! Close to 80%. No body from the post office has ever cracked the 50% barrier! It's like the 3-minute mile!

JERRY: (Pleading) I tried my best!

NEWMAN: Exactly. You're a disgrace to the uniform. (Newman takes off Jerry's mailman hat. Jerry turns his head in shame. Newman then tears the post office badge from Jerry's coat)

JERRY: You know, this is your coat.

NEWMAN: (Realizing) Damn!

 

[MK Shrimper]

How about the one that only rings twice?

or...

Fascist!

 

[RHB]

If we are changing the poll starters then this one (Mrs RHB insisted I include this)

 

[Another Surrey Shrimper]

The one in 'Delicatessen' because I like the way the butcher shouts 'factor' or whatever is French for postman

 

[dingleydangley]

While Postman Plod (the miserable sod) gets my vote you have to read Charles Bukowski for the full sick bucket low-life desperado. Depressing but oddly life-affirming.

 

[Tinks]

Bit disappointed here. No picture of Kev :thumbdown:

 

[RHB]

Bit disappointed here. No picture of Kev :thumbdown:

As in Costner?