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Slipperduke

The Camden Cad
Joined
Aug 24, 2004
Messages
4,333
Location
North London
Thanks to Chelsea, I’m in a lot of trouble right now. You see, when I cover an away game from the television, I usually take the opportunity to invite a few people over, let them raid my beer fridge and then sit nearest the television with a notepad while they chatter around me. It was only after everyone arrived that I thought it was time to confess that I was covering Avram Grant’s side.

“What? Why Chelsea? No-one’s interested in that game! Everyone wants to watch Liverpool!”

“Aha,” I said conspiratorially, “but that game’s going to be boring, isn’t it? Rafa Benitez in Europe? Trying to avoid defeat? That’ll be awful. Stick with me, this game will be much better.”

After 90 minutes of the most boring football outside of Bolton, I don’t think that anyone is ever going to come to my house again. This was a truly torrid affair, bereft of goals, drained of excitement, empty of emotion. Instead of a house filled with football chants, gratuitous swearing and raucous cheering, I scribbled away to the backdrop of yawns and sighs. The conversation skittered around between the referee and whether or not he had a comb-over, the end of Fidel Castro and the terrifying emergence of giant sea-spiders off the coast of Australia. They’re the size of dinner-plates apparently.

Avram Grant deployed his team in lines that were deeper than Jean-Paul Satre‘s diary entries. A constricting 4-5-1 strangled the life out of the Greeks, who tried their best to make inroads into the sea of fluorescent yellow shirts, but in vain. No-one can sit back like Chelsea. The trouble is, it will probably work. They’ll take this goalless draw back to Stamford Bridge, do exactly the same and sneak through by virtue of a deflected Frank Lampard goal. It’s so frustrating, not least because I’ll probably be sat in the cold at Stamford Bridge for that one as well.

It is said that Roman Abramovich decided to buy an English football club after watching Manchester United’s epic 5-3 defeat against Real Madrid. The Russian gazillionaire was captivated by the free-flowing football, seduced by the excitement and he decided there and then to get his wallet out and go crazy. I wonder if he ever reflects on the disparity between his football vision and this cold, sobering reality?

If there is a positive to take from this impotent rubbish, then it is only that Chelsea have no new injuries to block them in their chase for the League Cup on Sunday night. Grant took the risky decision of leaving out John Terry and Frank Lampard, but Olympiakos couldn’t make him pay.

Much credit must go to the Greek fans who, after an hour of watching Chelsea play sideways passes to each other, began to whistle and jeer so loudly that it almost shamed the English side into attempting an attack. Almost, but not quite. Didier Drogba was so anonymous that he could have curled up for a nap under the corner flag for all the good he did. Ashley Cole was one of a only a few players who occasionally threatened, but then it’s about time he impressed while playing away, isn’t it?

Chelsea have done enough to give themselves a reasonably routine task when they return to Stamford Bridge, but have they struck fear into the hearts of their European rivals? Absolutely not. They were dull, unadventurous and boring. The big clubs will be more concerned about those sea-spiders.
 
It is said that Roman Abramovich decided to buy an English football club after watching Manchester United’s epic 5-3 defeat against Real Madrid. The Russian gazillionaire was captivated by the free-flowing football, seduced by the excitement and he decided there and then to get his wallet out and go crazy. I wonder if he ever reflects on the disparity between his football vision and this cold, sobering reality?

and nothing to do with money laundering not at all, your Honour. I think he wanted Arsenal first as well
 
Boring they might be but effective they definitely are. 21 wins from 28 games and foruitously perhaps he has maintained that incredible home record.

As Jonny_Stokes mentioned on the poker thread, it's the player who loses the fewest chips who wins the tournament. In the Champions League, it's not the team who puts in the most dazzling performance who wins but the team who prevents the oppositon from beating them and that is something that Chelsea, frankly, are almost unparallelled at from what I've seen int he competition so far.

Odds-wise, they're closing in on Barca who I think might take a bit of an upset tonight.

EDIT, just noticed my stats are old but the record's continued at a similar rate since I think.
 
Odds-wise, they're closing in on Barca who I think might take a bit of an upset tonight.

Celtic's home record in Europe surely doesn't hint at an upset though if they were to beat Barca does it? However can't see them ultimately battling through, even if they equal/surpass their last trip to the Nou Camp!
 
Boring they might be but effective they definitely are. 21 wins from 28 games and foruitously perhaps he has maintained that incredible home record.

As Jonny_Stokes mentioned on the poker thread, it's the player who loses the fewest chips who wins the tournament. In the Champions League, it's not the team who puts in the most dazzling performance who wins but the team who prevents the oppositon from beating them and that is something that Chelsea, frankly, are almost unparallelled at from what I've seen int he competition so far.

Odds-wise, they're closing in on Barca who I think might take a bit of an upset tonight.

EDIT, just noticed my stats are old but the record's continued at a similar rate since I think.

When it comes to the crunch Chelsea cant hack it though!
 
Chelsea are boring but, sadly effective in their boringness. I hope they draw a decent side in the next round and get taught a lesson.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slipperduke
Ashley Cole was one of a only a few players who occasionally threatened, but then it’s about time he impressed while playing away, isn’t it?
*wonders if the Singaporeans are a bit too wholesome to get the double-entendre...*

:finger:

Who cares, this and cccsiders post in the Safo Soley thread have certainly brightened up my afternoon.

:)
 
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