BOTL Pot 8

[MK Shrimper]

Final one.

 

[Napster]

Ian Dury, was going to be my original choice.

One of his best:

In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick.
South Street Romford, shopping arcade
Got a Razzle magazine, I never paid
Inside my jacket and away double quick.

Good sense told me, once was enough
But I had a cocky eye on more of this stuff
With the Razzle in my pocket,
Back to have another peek

Instead of being sneeky I strolled inside,
I put my thieving hand on something rude
I walked right out with a silhouette of nudes
'Hold on sonny' said a voice at my side
'I think you've taken one of my books'
Passers by gave me dirty looks

'Not me mister' I bravely lied
We stopped by the window of a jeweller's shop
'If it's money for your lunch, I'd have given you a loan
Have you got any form, were you on your own?
Round to the station and we'll tell the cops'

'I'm ever so ashamed, it was wicked and rash
Here's the book back, and here's the cash
I never stole before, I promise I'll stop'
'Crime doesn't pay, you've got honest eyes

If we go to the law another thief is born
And I'll get the book back, creased and torn
So return what you've taken and apologise'
I gave him back his nudie book
I said I was sorry, I slung my hook
With the Razzle in my pocket as the second prize

 

[MK Shrimper]

Love Dury but can't see anyone winning this but BB.

 

[KAB]

Another for Mr Dury. Blockheads, still as true today. Besides, Southend owes him for his polio.

You must have seen parties of Blockheads
With blotched and lagered skin
Blockheads with food particles in their teeth
What a horrible state they're in

They've got womanly breasts under pale mauve vests
Shoes like dead pigs' noses
Cornflake packet jacket, catalogue trousers
A mouth what never closes

You must have seen Blockheads in raucous teams
Dressed up after work
Who screw their poor old Eileens
Get sloshed and go berserk

Rotary accessory watches
Hire-purchase signet rings
A beauty to the bully boys
No lonely vestige clings

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Why shouldn't they do as they please?
You know if it came to a brainy game
You could baffle a Blockhead with ease

How would you like one puffing and blowing in your ear-hole?
Or ****ing in your swimming pool?



Bigger brained Blockheads often acquire
Black and orange cars
Premature ejaculation drivers
Their soft-top's got roll-bars

'Fill her up,' they say to Blockheads
'Go on, stick it where it hurts'
Their shapeless haircuts don't enhance
Their ghastly patterned shirts

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Superior as you are
You're thoughtful and kind with a well-stocked mind
A Blockhead can't think very far

Imagine finding one in your laundry basket
Banging nails in your big black door

Why bother at all about Blockheads?
Why should you care what they do?
Cos after all is said and done
You're a Blockhead too

 

[Napster]

Soo many good Dury tracks

Oi, Reg, meat and two veg?
He done him with a ten pound sledge
He done himself a favour *crash*

Forty year-old arse-wipe,
Mrs. Elizabeth Walker of Lambeth Walk
Had a husband who was jubblified
With only half a stalk
So she had a milk of magnesia
And curry powder sandwich,
Half a pound of uncut pork
Took an overdose of Omo,
This made the neighbours talk
Could have been watching Frankie Vaughan
On the telly and giving herself a scratch

This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
A sense of humour is required
Amongst our bacon rind

Hello, Brian, wash and iron?
Try it on, it's only nylon

Single bachelor with little dog,
Tony Green of Turnham Green
Said, "Who's a clever boy, then, girl",
Yes you know whom I mean
'cause the mongrel laid a cable in the sandpit
Of the playground of the park
Where they had been
And with a bit of tissue,
He wiped its bum-hole clean
A bit of claggy on the waggy

This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
I must have had a funny time
On the Golden Hind

O vanitas vanitatum
Which of us is happy in this life?
Which of us has our desire,
Or having it, is gratified?

Home improvement expert
Harold Hill of Harold Hill
Of do-it-yourself dexterity
And double-glazing skill
Came home to find another gentleman's kippers
In the grill
So sanded off his winkle
With his Black and Decker drill

This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
The hope that springs eternal
Springs right up your behind

This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find

 

[Napster]

Oh and another

Reasons to be cheerful part 3
1 2 3

Summer, Buddy Holly, the working folly
Good golly Miss Molly and boats
Hammersmith Palais, the Bolshoi Ballet
Jump back in the alley and nanny goats

18-wheeler Scammels, Domenecker camels
All other mammals plus equal votes
Seeing Piccadilly, Fanny Smith and Willy
Being rather silly, and porridge oats

A bit of grin and bear it, a bit of come and share it
You're welcome, we can spare it - yellow socks
Too short to be haughty, too nutty to be naughty
Going on 40 - no electric shocks

The juice of the carrot, the smile of the parrot
A little drop of claret - anything that rocks
Elvis and Scotty, days when I ain't spotty,
Sitting on the potty - curing smallpox

Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
1 2 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3

Health service glasses
Gigolos and brasses
Round or skinny bottoms
Take your mum to Paris
Lighting up the chalice
Wee Willy Harris

Bantu Stephen Biko, listening to Rico
Harpo, Groucho, Chico
Cheddar cheese and pickle, the Vincent motorsickle
Slap and tickle
Woody Allen, Dali, Dimitri and Pasquale
Balabalabala and Volare
Something nice to study, phoning up a buddy
Being in my nuddy
Saying hokey-dokey, Sing Along With Smokey
Coming out of chokey
John Coltrane's soprano, Adi Celentano
Bonar Colleano

Reasons to be cheerful part 3 etc

I saw the Blockheads perform this, and Wee Willie Harris joined them mid-song for one of his own songs!

 

[Supernaut]

No time whatsoever for Burt B, like lots of Cat's songs but don't think he was the greatest lyricist, so it has to be Ian Dury - a true genius.

 

[Blueronron]

Ok my favourite in a day when the F word is common in songs and acceptable, lets go back to when a lyric had meaning
Burt songs hold the test of time
“ This guys in love ” pure class and makes the heart melt
Dionne Warwick “ SAN Jose” everyone knows the tune and words even to hum too
“The look of love “classic words, smooth and still good today
I will post more later but come on people this is lyrics not the artist in 50 years time Burts songs will be on the airways when others are forgotten
Burt needs your vote, he’s given you enjoyment now repay your debt to him with a vote

 

[Blueronron]

“Walk on by” surely is a song everyone has smooched with someone or played on a night with the lights down
Classic that will live on for ever Burt finest

 

[Another Surrey Shrimper]

Burt:

 

[Another Surrey Shrimper]

Burt:

 

[Shrimpers are Magic]

I could be a lawyer with strategems and ruses
I could be a doctor with poultices and bruises
I could be a writer with a growing reputation
I could be the ticket man at Fulham Broadway Station
What a waste

Dury everytime.

 

[RHB]

Not that Dury needs any more bigging up on this thread, but this makes me smile every time I drive through a certain town and he deserves to win for these lyrics alone:

Good evening I'm from essex
In case you couldn't tell
My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well
Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my Cortina
A seasoned up hyena could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena
Well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
If candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I bought a lot of brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a 'Mandy'
She didn't half go bandy
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm billeicay dickie
And I'm…
I'd rondez-vouez with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet she bruised her pomegranet
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If I ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
You should never hold a candle if you don't know where it's been
The jackpot is in the handle on a normal fruit machine
So you ask Joyce and Vicki
Who's their brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I know a lovely old toe-rag obliging and noblesse
Kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness
Source: LyricFind

 

[MK Shrimper]

Pot 8 is a shocker - just over 2 hours to go for BB to turn it around.

 

[Blueronron]

Really shows how real lyrics have died in today's world

Last shot at glory

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No not just for some but for everyone

Lord we don't need another mountain
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross
Enough to last until the end of time

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No not just for some but for everyone

Lord, we don't need another meadow
There are corn fields and wheat fields enough to grow
There are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine
Oh listen Lord, if You want to know

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No not just for some, oh, but just for every, every everyone

What the world needs now is love sweet love
(Whoa, whoa, is love)
What the world needs now is love sweet love
(Oh, oh, is love)
What the world needs now is love sweet love
(Whoa, whoa, is love)


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MORE ON GENIUS
https://genius.com/videos/The-dark-side-of-stan-culture?utm_source=recirculated_content

 

[MK Shrimper]

They're noticably different BRR and Ian Dury is hardly "today's world" as Ian Dury was at his peak almost 40 years ago. He's been dead for 19....(which is a shocker).

 

[Blueronron]

They're noticably different BRR and Ian Dury is hardly "today's world" as Ian Dury was at his peak almost 40 years ago. He's been dead for 19....(which is a shocker).

I meant when voting on Billericay Dickie is more important than any love song with meaning

Not sure my missus would have been wooed by ID and ****ing Ada or Supermans Big sister

Wow 19 years was it that long ago

 

[RHB]

@MK Shrimper, I've taken the liberty of adding the No 8 to the thread title.

 

[Napster]

I meant when voting on Billericay Dickie is more important than any love song with meaning

Not sure my missus would have been wooed by ID and ****ing Ada or Supermans Big sister

Wow 19 years was it that long ago

My mrs was by wake up and make love to me

 

[blues exile]

Is it too late to substitute Hal David for Bacharach as this is supposed to be about lyrics and Bacharach only wrote the music.