Slipperduke
The Camden Cad
I made the mistake of allowing Mrs Slipperduke to use the TV controller last night and paid for my lapse by being exposed to this horrible, nasty programme. Did anyone see it?
It appears to be some kind of talent show, though it's anyone's guess what the 'talent' is. You knew there was a problem when the hostess, Lisa Snowdon, arrived and the contestants fell into dumbstruck awe. Snowdon, who these days looks like her own mother, appears to be the Queen Bee. The only thing that I know her for is that fact that she apparently shagged George Clooney. It seems that's enough for respectability these days.
The crunch moment came when Chanelle/Fenelle/Fayleigh/Lipglossia, whatever her name was, was saying, "I'm going to win for the simple reason that there is absolutely nothing that I won't do."
Absolutely nothing? So you're a potential whore and a murdereress, are you? Mummy must be very proud. If she's not already, given that you just spent the last 20 minutes crying about unveiling your anorexic bangers to a gay photographer in an effort to stay in an exploitative competition that even a fashion ****** like myself could tell that you're too ****ing ugly to stand a chance of winning.
Then they all started crying about whether or not they would stay in the next round. Like the prospect of having a 13/1 to shot at being someone who is seen as little more than a prop is something to get excited about. Brilliant! I'm going to dragged around the world so that people can take a picture of my mimsy and use it to sell ****ing car tyres! Brilliant! My existence is vindicated!
When the inevitable happened and one of several fck-ugly girls got swatted out of the tv show entirely, she blubbed and resolved to keep on fighting because, "if I believe that I can do it, I will."
Wonderful sentiments. Perhaps if I believe that the next time I go to the cafe, it'll be Lindsay Lohan serving up my Special No.1, it'll actually happen. You know what? It just happened! There she is!
No, it didn't happen, you moon-faced pug! If your own reflection isn't proof enough that you were not put on this earth to look pretty then what will convince you? You could be a potential scientist, a politician, a teacher, a mother, anything, why set your sights so low and then bleat when you don't reach them? The sight of her tearfully trumping off in her Ugg Boots was heart-breaking, not because it was she was unhappy, but because I'd just lost an entire hour of my life.
Christ, it was awful. What's wrong with the world?
It appears to be some kind of talent show, though it's anyone's guess what the 'talent' is. You knew there was a problem when the hostess, Lisa Snowdon, arrived and the contestants fell into dumbstruck awe. Snowdon, who these days looks like her own mother, appears to be the Queen Bee. The only thing that I know her for is that fact that she apparently shagged George Clooney. It seems that's enough for respectability these days.
The crunch moment came when Chanelle/Fenelle/Fayleigh/Lipglossia, whatever her name was, was saying, "I'm going to win for the simple reason that there is absolutely nothing that I won't do."
Absolutely nothing? So you're a potential whore and a murdereress, are you? Mummy must be very proud. If she's not already, given that you just spent the last 20 minutes crying about unveiling your anorexic bangers to a gay photographer in an effort to stay in an exploitative competition that even a fashion ****** like myself could tell that you're too ****ing ugly to stand a chance of winning.
Then they all started crying about whether or not they would stay in the next round. Like the prospect of having a 13/1 to shot at being someone who is seen as little more than a prop is something to get excited about. Brilliant! I'm going to dragged around the world so that people can take a picture of my mimsy and use it to sell ****ing car tyres! Brilliant! My existence is vindicated!
When the inevitable happened and one of several fck-ugly girls got swatted out of the tv show entirely, she blubbed and resolved to keep on fighting because, "if I believe that I can do it, I will."
Wonderful sentiments. Perhaps if I believe that the next time I go to the cafe, it'll be Lindsay Lohan serving up my Special No.1, it'll actually happen. You know what? It just happened! There she is!
No, it didn't happen, you moon-faced pug! If your own reflection isn't proof enough that you were not put on this earth to look pretty then what will convince you? You could be a potential scientist, a politician, a teacher, a mother, anything, why set your sights so low and then bleat when you don't reach them? The sight of her tearfully trumping off in her Ugg Boots was heart-breaking, not because it was she was unhappy, but because I'd just lost an entire hour of my life.
Christ, it was awful. What's wrong with the world?