Chat Up Lines

[Harold Bishop Killer]

All guys have been there. You are in a bar and you notice a young hotty over in the corner. You catch given you a quick glance. You look back again to make sure it wasnt the alcohol playing tricks on you. no definitely she was checking you out. Your heart races that little bit more, you begin to sweat. You want to go over there right now, rip her clothes, bend her over the bar and do things that would make Satan himself blush. But you know the risk of prison is high if you proceed down that line so in oder to see the angelic figure in all its glory you must presuade her back to yours. Now being a cocky lad you think a chat up line is the best way.

Now which one do you use? Here's a few to think about.

And girls - would any of these work for you?

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.



P.S 3000 POSTS!!! I THANK YOU!!

 

[OldBlueLady]

Flippin' heck, that's a post rate higher than mine! Well done, don't think much of most of the lines though incidentally!

 

[Rayleigh Weir]

My chief drinking buddy and I used to have a weekly chat-up line challenge where we'd have to draw a couple of chat-up lines at random from a bag and use them within earshot of the other at some point that night - we worked our way through the all the classics and the list above and got to the point where we had to start making up our own cheesy chat-ups (I guess it must have been fun to last for as long as it did). We eventually got a bit hung up on:

"My name's Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you..."

It got some of the best responses, so we just carried on using it again and again - although we did once drunkenly swear to each other that if a girl ever responded with:
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" that we'd have to marry her...

 

[Harold Bishop Killer]

Flippin' heck, that's a post rate higher than mine! Well done, don't think much of most of the lines though incidentally!

Shrimperzone addiction should not be applauded. Its a disease!!

:'(;)

 

[canveyshrimper]

Shrimperzone addiction should not be applauded. Its a disease!!

:'(;)

But it beats the hell out of working for a living.

 

[MK Shrimper]

But it beats the hell out of working for a living.

What he said in spades :D

 

[Southminster_Shrimper]

But it beats the hell out of working for a living.

Is that the sort of chat up line which gets the ladies of Canvey falling at your feet then Harry? Or just the chloroform aftershave? :unsure:

 

[toellandback]

I had a car accident recently and so my bonnet and bumper are roped and taped solid, no problems there you would think untill yesterday. I offered a lift to one of my sisters friends and whats on the passenger seat but rope, duck tape and a stanley knife.






She decided to walk