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Napster

The Horse with no Name⭐
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
36,380
Location
The wilds of Kent
Southend-on-Sea (The Place To Be)
_POSTEDON Saturday, December 18 @ 20:17:12 GMT by SimonA
[ Edit | Delete ]


SimonA _WRITES "That Chav hasn't originated in Southend comes as a great shock to me. The town has a feature the chavster finds irresistable, a 'seafront'. That this doesn't actually front the sea, but rather the estuary of the moving cesspool that is the Thames, seems not to matter to either the chavster, who after all doesn't even know what an estuary is, or to the Town 'Authorities'. The Seafront is home to the 'Golden Mile', 1/2 a mile of neon lighting and arcades that acts as a magnet to all things burberry and fake designer on a weekend. Only in a Town as Chav as Southend could a 1/2 mile stretch of detestable run down pubs and samey arcades be called the 'Golden Mile'. And the Chavs flock there. On a sunny weekend the beach, an imported abrasive yellow rock, is packed with Shardonnays and their 4 chavlings all of whom have travelled along the Cahvviest of railway lines, the Fenchurch Street line, passing through Grays, Tilbury and Pitsea before making camp next to Adventure Island and glaring at anyone who dares look in their direction.
On a weekend evening the area is full of chavettes and young chavster blokes desperate to mate and produce more chavscum to infect our world. There is no better place to meet the chavette of your dreams than on 'slags wall'. This stretch of concrete between the eateries of 'Pebbles 1' and 'Pebbles 2' is a wonderful place for the young chavette to display her collection of bling and her pink plastic mini-belt. A chavster need only approach the wall, choose a chavette, mumble a few words of chav-speak and as sure as Kevin's his uncle, he's in there.
If a non-chav local should dare stray into the area between the Kursaal and the Esplanade Pub the Chavsters, hunting in groups of no less that 12, will duely relieve the innocent little treasure of all their paaands and give then a good slap so they remember the encounter.
To finish I must put forward my final argument as to why Southend is the chavviest of all places. It is not the baseball caps on the street corners, the Chavs hanging outside the town's 5 McDonalds, the shoplifting from every One-Stop in the area or the fact that Estuary English was born here. It is the highlight of the Chav calender, the festival where all of the Southeast can gather together as one, the Southend Airshow. From around 10am the Chavchurch Street line pours hoody after hoody, football shift after football shirt into the town. 100,000 of them! They drink , they fight, they steal, they don't watch the planes! No where else will you ever see so many Chavs in one place. And what draws them all here? It's free!!! Europe's biggest free Airshow and thereby Europe's most attractive Chav day out. Fun for all the family. Tracy and Jason can knock back a couple at Chinnerys whilst Mercedes, Jasmine and Brandon can get lost and go crying to the Old Bill to be babysat for most of the afternoon. A free day out, with free childcare. Perfect.
There's so much more to say about Southend, it's a must visit destination for the keener, and braver, chav-spotter. If you really want to fit in make sure you drive a lowered Nova with underskirt lighting and at least one panel that's a different colour from the rest. Every Saturday night's a cruise night, so bring the family. Just don't get out the car."
 

CANV

Coach
Joined
Oct 28, 2003
Messages
569
heheh.. is the foresters still full of rockabillys and london beanos?
 

Ron Manager

Guest
I hate these f**king 'chav' websites, stuck up little snobs hiding behind a computer slagging off people.

mad.gif
 

rabbloke

Coach
Joined
Aug 13, 2004
Messages
718
There is a marker at Chalkwell that indicates where the Thames stops and the sea commences. Surely that means Southend is correctly titled ' on-sea' and it does front the said sea and not the Thames.
 

* ORM *

Emma Bunton's No. 1 stalker, Adam Barretts No. 1 f
Joined
Nov 7, 2003
Messages
18,169
Location
Flying the flag for SUFC in Sai Kung, Hong Kong
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Napster @ Mar. 03 2005,15:29)]all of whom have travelled along the Cahvviest of railway lines, the Fenchurch Street line, passing through Grays, Tilbury and Pitsea before making camp next to Adventure Island and glaring at anyone who dares look in their direction.
Be fair, this guy has a point.
laugh.gif
 

Bob Cratchitt

Devil's Advocate
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
7,777
Location
Near the Baby Jesus
Excuse me but on Monday night my train home was boarded by the mouthiest woman I have had the displeasure of being forced to listen to, was in fact an oik off a certain other line into Southend. She was on her phone but spoke loud enough for the whole carriage to hear her, and her language was shocking I have never heard anyone on C2C use the C word (and i am not talking about Cardiff) so often so publically. One thing that was a saving grace is that she came from Billericay.

The one thing this little herbert has failed to grasp is that a large percentage of the groups of people he is describing do not even come from Southend. The train travellers for the air show, and the crusiers.

And isnt Chinnerys the new Esplanade i.e that is more a live music pub and we all know that chavs are all into American R'n'B.
 

Wessex Blue

Manager
Joined
Oct 31, 2003
Messages
1,620
I personally think that Chav baiting has moved from **** take of a small feckless group of layabouts to full on class hatred of the working classes by the sort of anally retentive, frustrated snobs that read the Daily Mail. These people hate to see people having fun.
 

Guest

Guest
I agree with Wessex. It stated off quite funny but there's actually nothing 'new' about this at all. The whole Essex man/ girl phenomena was the same thing under a different name. It is curious how we often get the rough end of the stick. There is obviously something about Essex that really gets up the noses of the established middle classes which is great really because there's nothing better winding up the precious petit-bourgeois. Having said that we've got penty of p-bs in Southend ourselves- just look at Chalkwell and Thorpe Bay.

At the end of the day whether Southend is chavvy or not (and it undoubtedly is) I'd rather live here than in some boring prim white suburban enclave, the like of which are commonly find in Herts, Surrey, Bucks, Berks etc. or in some trendy region in London where middle class people pretend to 'get down' with the local ethnic community, knowing full well that when they decide to start a family they'll f**k off back again to where they really come from. I love Southend, it's a proper place that has its ups and downs but always has an 'edge'. Whether people love it or hate it it nevre fails to provoke some sort of reaction.
 

CANV

Coach
Joined
Oct 28, 2003
Messages
569
[b said:
Quote[/b] (rabbloke @ Mar. 03 2005,20:21)]There is a marker at Chalkwell that indicates where the Thames stops and the sea commences. Surely that means Southend is correctly titled ' on-sea' and it does front the said sea and not the Thames.
its the crowstone isnt it..? at the end of ..er .. crowstone road...
also agree on the above , southend is a proper place.. possibly those of you who have lived in it all your lives dont appreciate it.. even the crap bits.. try living in wickford for a bit at ZZZZZZZ
 

* ORM *

Emma Bunton's No. 1 stalker, Adam Barretts No. 1 f
Joined
Nov 7, 2003
Messages
18,169
Location
Flying the flag for SUFC in Sai Kung, Hong Kong
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Wessex Blue @ Mar. 04 2005,09:27)]I personally think that Chav baiting has moved from **** take of a small feckless group of layabouts to full on class hatred of the working classes by the sort of anally retentive, frustrated snobs that read the Daily Mail. These people hate to see people having fun.
Hang on a minute - I'm from working class stock and I read the Daily Mail - I take offence at that cheap jibe
laugh.gif
 

Ron Manager

Guest
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Guest @ Mar. 04 2005,10:48)]I agree with Wessex. It stated off quite funny but there's actually nothing 'new' about this at all. The whole Essex man/ girl phenomena was the same thing under a different name. It is curious how we often get the rough end of the stick. There is obviously something about Essex that really gets up the noses of the established middle classes which is great really because there's nothing better winding up the precious petit-bourgeois. Having said that we've got penty of p-bs in Southend ourselves- just look at Chalkwell and Thorpe Bay.

At the end of the day whether Southend is chavvy or not (and it undoubtedly is) I'd rather live here than in some boring prim white suburban enclave, the like of which are commonly find in Herts, Surrey, Bucks, Berks etc. or in some trendy region in London where middle class people pretend to 'get down' with the local ethnic community, knowing full well that when they decide to start a family they'll f**k off back again to where they really come from. I love Southend, it's a proper place that has its ups and downs but always has an 'edge'. Whether people love it or hate it it nevre fails to provoke some sort of reaction.
Agree 100%

Best post on here in a long, long time!
 
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