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A Century United

Firewalking for HD
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
10,004
Not the first time I have posted this, but as this is our first transition to a higher division since 2005-6 perhaps you will forgive me reminding you of the Rules of Engagement:

I love this time of year, it's always the same:

1. Random names are posted on SZ with the assurance that "inside information" guarantees that we will see this rising star/solid pro/wise old head signing for the Mighty Blues before the week is out.

2. 10% of SZ proclaim the dawning of a new age of Footballing Triumph with these new players spearheading our return to the Championship. 80% of SZ is unmoved. 10% of SZ threaten self-immolation at the very thought of such unworthies pulling on the Sacred Cloth of Shrimperdom. All of 1. & 2. is worth around 97.4 posts per player named.

3. The named players sign for another club. 10% of SZ wail that RM lacks ambition and Brown wouldn't know a good player if he was bitten by one. 80% of SZ remain unmoved. 10% of SZ heave a mighty sigh of relief. There is no correlation, BTW, between the ratio of SZ'rs in 2. and 3.

4. At 2 minutes to midnight on the last day of the Transfer Window, it is revealed that we have signed a new player. This player will not have been mentioned in any thread on SZ in the preceding months. The 10% of SZ who have been calling for a player, ANY player to boost our squad promptly label this "A Panic Buy". The 10% of SZ who have threatend mass suicide at the names mentioned previously now decide that ANY of them would have been better than the donkey now residing in SUFC's stable. 80% of SZ raise an eyebrow and determine to wait and judge after a suitable time.

5. The Donkey has a storming first game. Mass apologies are posted by those who had previously only detected the smell of hay. The Donkey has a poor second game. The apologies are immediately rescinded and the chorus of "I told you so"'s is deafening. Flame wars erupt between the "I've not actually seen him but you could tell he was crap by the BBC Text Commentary" and the "Judge him after 20 games" camps. Matt the Shrimp finally loses it with Wiggy after discovering that Wiggy is actually either A) CSJ or B) CSJ's mum (or dad), or C) Daryll*.

6. Order is eventually restored, just in time for the next Transfer Windown, and the first Random name to be posted on SZ with the assurance that "inside information" guarantees that we will see this rising star/solid pro/wise old head signing for the Mighty Blues before the week is out.

Repeat.

*Nostalgia alert....
 

manor15

Super Moderator⭐
Staff member
Joined
Aug 13, 2008
Messages
8,312
I still think Ray Parlour would be a good addition to bring some pace to midfield, though with Coker I'm not sure we need Matt Lockwood this time.
 

Shrimp and two veg

Youth Team
Joined
Feb 24, 2011
Messages
656
Location
Wickford
I still think Ray Parlour would be a good addition to bring some pace to midfield, though with Coker I'm not sure we need Matt Lockwood this time.

I was at the gee-gees one day with a very good friend who phoned Ray up next to me to get some tips on the day's runners. I leant into the phone and asked Ray if there was any chance of him signing for Southend and he replied it a 99% done deal ! So i posted it on SZ and regretted doing so forever more as the muggy git never did sign and it still gets brought up years later as above
 

A Century United

Firewalking for HD
Joined
Jan 26, 2007
Messages
10,004
I still think Ray Parlour would be a good addition to bring some pace to midfield, though with Coker I'm not sure we need Matt Lockwood this time.

I hear Tony Richards is without a club this summer.

Close Season Bingo! Where's me card and me pen....

bingo.gif
 
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