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Cut Terry Some Slack


The Camden Cad
Aug 24, 2004
North London
I still can't believe it's true. I still can't accept that the captain of Chelsea, nay, the captain of England, could ever act in this way. What would Bobby Moore say? He'd be shocked and rightly so. What kind of man cheats on his wife with Alicia Douvall?

It's one thing to bonk your way around the gaudiest nightclubs in West London, it's another to impregnate your best mate's girlfriend, but even Giacomo Casanova, on his first day out of prison, would think twice before taking a swing at that concrete-boobed Jezebel.

Douvall, who has served as something of an old gym sock over the years to legions of Premier League players and half the cast of EastEnders, did at least reveal the key to Terry's success with the ladies.

"(He) told me, 'I called you over because you've got really nice boobs'...I loved that he was complimenting me."

It's been almost 500 years since Romeo's, "Soft, what light through yonder window breaks, it is the East and Juliet is the sun." I can't help thinking that, as a society, our mating rituals might have regressed a little.

Still, as unpleasant as all of this is, should it have any bearing on Terry's place in the England squad? Absolutely not. Let's not get hysterical. If Fabio Capello was picking his team on personality alone, removing all the players who have disgraced themselves, he'd be reduced to Peter Crouch and ten cardboard cut-outs of Roy Race. Is Terry's behaviour more disgraceful than Ashley Cole's vomitous night out with a single mother? Than Frank Lampard's holiday video?Besides, if Terry can score the winning goal on the day that his entire personal life falls apart around his ears, I suspect he might be a useful chap to have around in a World Cup final.

He should resign the national captaincy, for sure. You can't expect to keep the respect of men who wouldn't want to leave you alone with their wives for any longer than it takes to compliment their chest, but let's keep some perspective.

They're not politicians, they're not religious leaders. They're just footballers. They kick balls, they earn too much money and they rut without reason. John Terry must travel to South Africa. If for no other reason than to ensure that his team-mates can keep an eye on him.