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Uncle Leo

This cook is an anti-semite
Joined
Nov 19, 2003
Messages
23,031
Location
NY Parks Dept
Got sent this by a friend. Unbelievable....

News from Yorskhire
Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the ra pe allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness
 
Quality story.
Why is this making me think of Keith Lard, the fire safety officer from Phoenix Nights (& That Peter Kay Thing) ? ? ?
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (glasgowsufc @ Nov. 02 2005,09:46)]Quality story.
Why is this making me think of Keith Lard, the fire safety officer from Phoenix Nights (& That Peter Kay Thing) ? ? ?
That's his name! I was racking my brain trying to think of who that character was!
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Uxbridge Shrimper @ Nov. 02 2005,09:56)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (glasgowsufc @ Nov. 02 2005,09:46)]Quality story.
Why is this making me think of Keith Lard, the fire safety officer from Phoenix Nights (& That Peter Kay Thing) ? ? ?
That's his name! I was racking my brain trying to think of who that character was!
In fact, I would say that whenever Peter Kay uses that character it has provided some of his best work & it's probably become even more brilliantly observed by the fact that there was a real Bolton fire safety officer called Keith Laird & C4 have had to show a legal disclaimer after each episode he appears in whenever it's now shown.
 
wow.gif


Only in the north....!
 
Apparently Fido was taken to the vets to have his nails clipped as the man did not want any nasty scratches on his back.

How many dogs have pulled your trousers down guys??
 
Ee by gum lad what's thee doin with t'dog...!


"There's nowt as queer as folk" as I believe they like to say in that part of the world.

Anyone been onto Huddersfileds board to comment on Yorkshiremen loving their terriers jus a little too much Ā 
wink.gif
 
12 months..? cant you get p%&sed up, run over an entire crocodile of primary school kids in your car, ship in 700 illegal immigrants, chop your wife's head off with an axe and get less stir than that...?..
i mean i appreciate its not pleasent to stumble upon said scene, but its hardly going to scar you for life.. kind of turns the phrase 'give the dog a bone' on its head though...
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (canveyshrimper @ Nov. 02 2005,14:45)]Surely the dog should be doing stir as he was performing the act of buggery, the bloke after all was only receiving.
Then it is correct that he is in prison. I am sure the offence is .......

Receiving Swollen Goods
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Firestorm @ Nov. 03 2005,13:55)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (canveyshrimper @ Nov. 02 2005,14:45)]Surely the dog should be doing stir as he was performing the act of buggery, the bloke after all was only receiving.
Then it is correct that he is in prison. I am sure the offence is .......

Receiving Swollen Goods
Ouch!
sad.gif
sad.gif
 
I've been up north a few times and heard about dogs being buggered by men, but never the other way around...
 
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