- Nov 13, 2006
Eastbourne is the worst town in England. It may even be the worst town in the world. It's a real hellhole. A grotty, stinking crap-tropolis. If Eastbourne was a person, it would be a fat racist in a ****-stained tracksuit. If it was an animal it would be a really big, really persistent wasp that survives two direct hits with a rolled-up copy of the Daily Telegraph and still comes back to sting you on the eyeball. If it was a pizza it would be margarita topped with vomit. I've only been to Eastbourne once, but that was enough. If you try and convince me to go back, I swear to whichever God you believe in that I'll hold my breath until I turn blue and pass out....
We stayed their for 3 nights over christmas 3 years ago and thought it was miles ahead of Southend. Better indoor shopping centre, cleaner seafront and a couple of miles drive to a lovely marina complex and retail outlets.