Embarrassment on the train

[MrB]

Sitting there on the train this morning minding my own business, train pulls into Benfleet where the usual gaggle get on to fight over the remaining seats. Woman who I would guess is about 35 boards but catches her foot as she comes in. Fortunately she doesn't fall down however much more unfortunately she drops her hand bag which opens and spills out (in order of embarrassment:

a) her phone
b) her comb

Not too bad so far, but then we move onto:

c) several tampons

Fortunately unused, understandable in a womans handbag but then we had:

d) several condoms

Now, at this point I felt really sorry for her as whilst it's perfectable rational for a woman to take precautions, there were 5 or 6 of these bad boys sitting there on the floor in full view of everyone. What went through people's minds I'm not sure but I know what I was thinking! It reminded me of the scene in An American Werewolf in Paris if you've seen that film.

I feel guilty for inwardly laughing, she went redder than Matt Harrold's hair and must have had the most uncomfortable journey ever.

Anyone else seen or been involved in something more embarrassing on the train?

 

[Bluesmanager]

Been on the train in Mumbai, India. Not really embarrassing, but you'll never catch me moaning about cramped British trains again!

 

[MK Shrimper]

Been on the train in Mumbai, India. Not really embarrassing, but you'll never catch me moaning about cramped British trains again!

Sit in first class :D

 

[ldnfatso]

Sitting there on the train this morning minding my own business, train pulls into Benfleet where the usual gaggle get on to fight over the remaining seats. Woman who I would guess is about 35 boards but catches her foot as she comes in. Fortunately she doesn't fall down however much more unfortunately she drops her hand bag which opens and spills out (in order of embarrassment:

a) her phone
b) her comb

Not too bad so far, but then we move onto:

c) several tampons

Fortunately unused, understandable in a womans handbag but then we had:

d) several condoms

Now, at this point I felt really sorry for her as whilst it's perfectable rational for a woman to take precautions, there were 5 or 6 of these bad boys sitting there on the floor in full view of everyone. What went through people's minds I'm not sure but I know what I was thinking! It reminded me of the scene in An American Werewolf in Paris if you've seen that film.

I feel guilty for inwardly laughing, she went redder than Matt Harrold's hair and must have had the most uncomfortable journey ever.

Anyone else seen or been involved in something more embarrassing on the train?

That was Canveyshrimper actually!

 

[Winkle]

Been on the train in Mumbai, India. Not really embarrassing, but you'll never catch me moaning about cramped British trains again!

My friend was telling me about a train trip he had threw India last year,were 1st class ment sharing your bunk with about 20 others and 12 chickens. Also told me that you can pay a guy who runs down the track a mile or two, jumps on the train and fights for a seat so that when your train pulls in your guaranteed a seat... at least!

 

[duncan bulgaria]

sat next to 2 women from Benfleet to limehouse and then realised i was flying low , sat there cursing to my self from limehouse to fen st , what made it worse as i didn't even have any trendyish boxers on , just a pair of next one's !!!

 

[Usual_Suspect]

Sitting there on the train this morning minding my own business, train pulls into Benfleet where the usual gaggle get on to fight over the remaining seats. Woman who I would guess is about 35 boards but catches her foot as she comes in. Fortunately she doesn't fall down however much more unfortunately she drops her hand bag which opens and spills out (in order of embarrassment:

a) her phone
b) her comb

Not too bad so far, but then we move onto:

c) several tampons

Fortunately unused, understandable in a womans handbag but then we had:

d) several condoms

Now, at this point I felt really sorry for her as whilst it's perfectable rational for a woman to take precautions, there were 5 or 6 of these bad boys sitting there on the floor in full view of everyone. What went through people's minds I'm not sure but I know what I was thinking! It reminded me of the scene in An American Werewolf in Paris if you've seen that film.

I feel guilty for inwardly laughing, she went redder than Matt Harrold's hair and must have had the most uncomfortable journey ever.

Anyone else seen or been involved in something more embarrassing on the train?

Get her number?

 

[MrB]

Already had it, gave it to Stoy.

 

[TrueBlue]

Steak Meal?

 

[The Big Shrimp]

A few years back somebody I knew fairly well through playing cricket, spotted me as the train I was on pulled into Leigh Station. In his normal very loud voice he said, "Hello Richard, long time no see. He then open his briefcase & pulled out a big brown envelope. He then took a magazine from this envelope & said in his loud voice, "look at this beauty, she is more beautiful when you see her stripping live! She has the most amazing knockers you will ever see! I know her very well..." I tried to hide under the seat or pretend that I didn't know him. The pictures in the magazine were very erm, obvious!!

I still see this person on a fairly regular basis & he still has no shame, but fortunately doesn't pull stunts like that any more!!

 

[* ORM *]

I once sat next to Leeboy on the way in

 

[Gremlin]

An ex-colleague of mine was asleep, drunk on a train one Friday evening years ago. He was woken up with a start upon hearing a whistle from the platform believing, as was often the case, that he'd gone past his stop. My friend hurriedly got his things together, opened the old slam-door and dived out onto the platform only to discover that the whistle was the all-clear for the train to leave the London terminus he had boarded at less than ten minutes previously. The train hadn't yet moved.

Everyone on the train was looking at him, grinning. He let it go, too embarrassed to re-board.

 

[Mad Cyril]

After a few beers in the city a friend of mine fell asleep, missed his intended stop of Rayleigh and woke up in Hockley.

He jumped up and pressed the door open button but nothing happened. Fearing the train was about to depart he forced the doors open ........and stepped out of the wrong side of the train, falling onto the track below.

 

[TrueBlue]

After a session in the spread about 5 years back after a home game against Rochdale, I got the train from Prittlewell intending to get off at Hockley instead I fell asleep and ended up in Liverpool street with a take away Chinese from Eat Well next to Prittlewell station so I got off and said to the ticket bloke I am meant to get off at Hockley so he let me off I then got on some random train and ended up in Cambridge, worst thing about it was it was the last train though it all turned out ok because I had been chatting to this bird on-line from Cambridge recently I rang her and she reluctantly let me stay at hers, subsequently I savaged her after eating cold Chinese and 5 years on we are still together!

 

[Pubey]

About a month ago I was getting the train from sheffield home to Leigh. I was late finishing from work and legged it to the train. At Sheffield station all the mainline trains go from the same "block" of platforms... so I legged it onto the East Midlands Train and bagged the last of the seats.

The train pulled away....









backwards....




Looking on the display at the end of the carriage, instead of seeing "London St Pancras"... instead I had near heart failure when I saw "Dundee"!!!

Panicking I asked the lady next to me where the next stop was, and fortunately it was Wakefield, still about 45mins away. Just then my Mum phoned me asking if I was on the train and when I expected to get in "err.... not exactly, I might be a little bit late". I explained to her (as quietly as possible) that i was accidently heading to scotland, but about half the carriage still heard and there were plenty of grins and laughs! I finally got home to Leigh about 2 1/2hrs later than expected, 15quid poorer on new trains, and nearly having my head kicked in when I phoned my girlfriend and said I was in "some bandit-country place called Wakefield"... the locals didn't really take to kindly to that!

 

[MissWestStand]

Were any of you lot on the 8.27 at benfleet today? Someone in my carriage farted and the smell was unbearable (and no it wasnt the bit by West Horndon where it always smells), everyone was choking. Not the best Monday morning start!

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

A friend of mine has done the old "fall asleep out of Fenchchurch Street" trick and instead of getting off at Leigh he wakes up in Shoebury ... quick hop across the platform to get the next train back, promptly falls asleep again and wakes up just as the train is pulling into Fenchurch

 

[TrueBlue]

Thing is its so easy to fall asleep on the train after a beer the vibrations and rocking of the carriage is so relaxing

 

[Kenny]

I got a late train back from Liverpool Street a few months back, The carriage wasn't even half full yet this older guy who must have been about late 40s was the worse for wear and standing up by the doors generally swaying. A couple of times he kept re-opening the doors as he was leaning on the doors button.

Anyway, just as the train was slowing down for either Rayleigh or Hockley he spewed peas and carrots all over the floor by the doorway. People started getting off, doing their best to circumnavigate the puddle he had just created.

 

[Joolz]

I often miss my stop after a few beers in the city, so I was quite impressed with myself when I once woke up just as we were pulling into Southend Central after a night out. It wasn't until I had checked my watch and realised that the journey had taken over three hours that I realised that I had got home via the London to Shoebury to London to Southend Central service!