Slipperduke
The Camden Cad
They call Fabio Capello, ‘the hardman of Italian football’ and on Thursday morning he showed us all why. The iconoclastic boss had already demonstrated that there are no longer grazing rights here for sacred cows by refusing to give David Beckham a mercy-cap, but he went on to shatter egos and illusions with impunity on an intriguing night for English football.
His promise to pick players on form was kept and it was a surprise for everyone when Jermaine Jenas’ name was spotted on the team-sheet. The Tottenham midfielder has been in fine form since Juande Ramos arrived, but even he wouldn’t have expected a start. Michael Owen, who has been woeful this season, was left to sit and ponder his future on the bench. Five of his similarly snubbed colleagues were called into duty during the night, but his turn never came. The England players are about to discover the motivational powers of public humiliation.
Having told everybody earlier this week that he always played 4-4-2, it was disappointing when Capello deployed in his men in a 4-5-1. It was a strange 4-5-1 as well, with Steven Gerrard on the left of the midfield three, Joe Cole given licence to roam and Wayne Rooney forced to scrap back for possession. For the first half hour, it looked to have failed miserably. England looked nervous on the ball, so nervous that they insisted on giving it away. Gradually though, they grew in strength and when the Swiss lost their focus before the break, they pounced.
If, as Rio Ferdinand suggested, this new era is like going back to school, then Rooney is the teacher’s pet. The Manchester United striker was superb. On his day he looks like a genetically created hybrid of Eric Cantona and Roy Keane and he terrorised his opponents. But it wasn’t until Capello put Peter Crouch up front and let Rooney enjoy the free role, that England clicked. With Crouch’s delicate knock-downs and Rooney’s ability to find space, they ran rampant for the final stages of the match. Even Gerrard, who had looked uncomfortable in the first half, began to look more like his usual self and his left-footed pass for the second goal was sublime, both in its execution and its timing.
Fittingly in this, the Chinese Year of the Rat, it was Ashley Cole who raised eyebrows for all the wrong reasons. Cole, who cheated on his pop star wife with what looked suspiciously like a bulldog in woman’s clothing, had a horrible match. He looked a million miles away from the rampaging Arsenal left-back that we all used to like. Now he is sluggish and pedestrian. The delectable Aimee Walton, who was repeatedly vomited on by Cole in their night of passion, reported her surprise at how out of shape his body looked and she may have been on to something because Cole played like a weekend warrior with a nasty hangover. Someone may need to inform him that, if he wants to keep those astronomical wages that he betrayed Arsenal for, it’s best not to go binge drinking during the season.
On a night of new formations, new players and new hope, it was refreshing to see that some things never change. It took just 35 minutes for a section of England fans to boo their team for the heinous crime of keeping possession, and it was reassuring to see that all the Munich newspaper supplements and memorial services in the world aren’t enough to stop a few of them mocking the dead. Thanks boys, we’re mighty proud of you back here.
Let’s stick to the bright side though, Capello’s England have passed through their first examination relatively unruffled. In typical Fabio fashion, it wasn’t the best performance, but it was an acceptable result. Doubts will continue about the 4-5-1 formation, but perhaps England will grow into it as time goes on. For now, those that were dropped are inspired to improve. Those who performed are forced to maintain their form and those who let themselves down, yes Ashley I’m looking at you, are forced to take a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror. It’s the start of a new term and this new teacher isn’t messing about.
RATINGS
David James - So nearly a flawless performance, but his late clanger might have cost him - 7
Wes Brown - Careless and sloppy in the first half, but he recovered well and looked steadfast - 7
Ashley Cole - Not the Ashley Cole of three years ago. Not even close. Docile is a good word, isn’t it? - 5
Rio Ferdinand - Typical Rio. Imperious in the air, absent-minded on a couple of occasions - 6
Matthew Upson - Fine, but didn’t make enough of an impression to keep his place from John Terry - 7
David Bentley - Useful deliveries, always worked hard and never let his head drop. Beckham won’t be happy - 7
Jermaine Jenas - Slow start, but came into the game more and pounced on a chance to score - 7
Gareth Barry - Sat deep, played simple passes, did nothing wrong. Competent, tidy and trustworthy - 7
Steven Gerrard - Looked unsure of himself on the left, but was a revealtion in the second half - 7
Joe Cole - Another fine performance and wonderful work to set up the first goal. Can be proud of himself - 8
Wayne Rooney - Ran his heart out, chased everything, tried the impossible and should have scored - 8
His promise to pick players on form was kept and it was a surprise for everyone when Jermaine Jenas’ name was spotted on the team-sheet. The Tottenham midfielder has been in fine form since Juande Ramos arrived, but even he wouldn’t have expected a start. Michael Owen, who has been woeful this season, was left to sit and ponder his future on the bench. Five of his similarly snubbed colleagues were called into duty during the night, but his turn never came. The England players are about to discover the motivational powers of public humiliation.
Having told everybody earlier this week that he always played 4-4-2, it was disappointing when Capello deployed in his men in a 4-5-1. It was a strange 4-5-1 as well, with Steven Gerrard on the left of the midfield three, Joe Cole given licence to roam and Wayne Rooney forced to scrap back for possession. For the first half hour, it looked to have failed miserably. England looked nervous on the ball, so nervous that they insisted on giving it away. Gradually though, they grew in strength and when the Swiss lost their focus before the break, they pounced.
If, as Rio Ferdinand suggested, this new era is like going back to school, then Rooney is the teacher’s pet. The Manchester United striker was superb. On his day he looks like a genetically created hybrid of Eric Cantona and Roy Keane and he terrorised his opponents. But it wasn’t until Capello put Peter Crouch up front and let Rooney enjoy the free role, that England clicked. With Crouch’s delicate knock-downs and Rooney’s ability to find space, they ran rampant for the final stages of the match. Even Gerrard, who had looked uncomfortable in the first half, began to look more like his usual self and his left-footed pass for the second goal was sublime, both in its execution and its timing.
Fittingly in this, the Chinese Year of the Rat, it was Ashley Cole who raised eyebrows for all the wrong reasons. Cole, who cheated on his pop star wife with what looked suspiciously like a bulldog in woman’s clothing, had a horrible match. He looked a million miles away from the rampaging Arsenal left-back that we all used to like. Now he is sluggish and pedestrian. The delectable Aimee Walton, who was repeatedly vomited on by Cole in their night of passion, reported her surprise at how out of shape his body looked and she may have been on to something because Cole played like a weekend warrior with a nasty hangover. Someone may need to inform him that, if he wants to keep those astronomical wages that he betrayed Arsenal for, it’s best not to go binge drinking during the season.
On a night of new formations, new players and new hope, it was refreshing to see that some things never change. It took just 35 minutes for a section of England fans to boo their team for the heinous crime of keeping possession, and it was reassuring to see that all the Munich newspaper supplements and memorial services in the world aren’t enough to stop a few of them mocking the dead. Thanks boys, we’re mighty proud of you back here.
Let’s stick to the bright side though, Capello’s England have passed through their first examination relatively unruffled. In typical Fabio fashion, it wasn’t the best performance, but it was an acceptable result. Doubts will continue about the 4-5-1 formation, but perhaps England will grow into it as time goes on. For now, those that were dropped are inspired to improve. Those who performed are forced to maintain their form and those who let themselves down, yes Ashley I’m looking at you, are forced to take a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror. It’s the start of a new term and this new teacher isn’t messing about.
RATINGS
David James - So nearly a flawless performance, but his late clanger might have cost him - 7
Wes Brown - Careless and sloppy in the first half, but he recovered well and looked steadfast - 7
Ashley Cole - Not the Ashley Cole of three years ago. Not even close. Docile is a good word, isn’t it? - 5
Rio Ferdinand - Typical Rio. Imperious in the air, absent-minded on a couple of occasions - 6
Matthew Upson - Fine, but didn’t make enough of an impression to keep his place from John Terry - 7
David Bentley - Useful deliveries, always worked hard and never let his head drop. Beckham won’t be happy - 7
Jermaine Jenas - Slow start, but came into the game more and pounced on a chance to score - 7
Gareth Barry - Sat deep, played simple passes, did nothing wrong. Competent, tidy and trustworthy - 7
Steven Gerrard - Looked unsure of himself on the left, but was a revealtion in the second half - 7
Joe Cole - Another fine performance and wonderful work to set up the first goal. Can be proud of himself - 8
Wayne Rooney - Ran his heart out, chased everything, tried the impossible and should have scored - 8
