Facebook Dilemma

[shrimperman]

Every good relationship has a strong element of trust, whether it be a sexual partner or just good friend. As soon as that trust has been breached things are never the same. You can usually overlook minor incidents but when its something so personal to you, there will always be that unhealthy sub-conscious thought of the past. Personally, I would reject his request and move on with your life. It's only a facebook friend request, if he was man enough, he'd have made a much greater effort years before. Ask yourself what you are going to gain from it?

 

[sufcintheprem]

Might I suggest humming this when you add or don't add him?

 

[Stats]

Regi Blinker turn to music after his football career ended I see.

 

[Southend_Lady]

I'm wondering if there's a reason that he has had the audacity to actually request you as a friend? Two possibilities for this are: One being that perhaps his relationship is going down the pan and thinks it was now all a mistake and that by requesting you as a friend it will somehow put his guilt to bed slightly.
The second reason might be to gloat. Let's face it, if you accept him then you will have to put up with him appearing on your newsfeed with stories of his life with your ex-fiance. Surely that's not something you want everytime you log on! Yeah it's just Facebook some might say, but it is a VERY powerful tool if used in certain ways, believe me.

He did an awful thing to you and if you accept him then it's almost telling him he did nothing wrong. It's all about principle here. He took his mates fiance - no one should do that and get away lightly. A lifetime of guilt should be the order of the day and you are surely the last person who he should be seeking any kind of friendship with, even if only cyber. Make sure you have great pleasure clicking the ignore button.

 

[stoy_redstar]

I'd add him just to find a way of making him pay, I'd say what he did is pretty unforgivable, so I'd wanna get revenge

 

[osymandus]

Southend Lady missed a 3rd point , maybe he wants to make a mends .

As said before lifes to short , Hate the action love the person.

To Err Human to forgive divine (plus it shows the relationship problably wasnt meant to be , and i suspect your pretty haoppy now )

 

[leathers20]

Southend Lady missed a 3rd point , maybe he wants to make a mends .

As said before lifes to short , Hate the action love the person.

To Err Human to forgive divine (plus it shows the relationship problably wasnt meant to be , and i suspect your pretty haoppy now )

....kick him in!

 

[Shrimpersarmy]

Basically, you like to show people how popular you are on facebook by adding everyone as a friend even though you don't really like them?

Pretty much spot on ;)

 

[Southend_Lady]

Southend Lady missed a 3rd point , maybe he wants to make a mends .

As said before lifes to short , Hate the action love the person.

To Err Human to forgive divine (plus it shows the relationship problably wasnt meant to be , and i suspect your pretty haoppy now )

Well yes you could be right. I was going for two possibilties. Even if he is trying to make amends - why should he be forgiven. I am a great believer in sweeping things under the rug when it comes to arguments between mates and would forgive my mates for most things. However, I find it hard to understand why you should forgive someone for something so awful. Somethings in life are, unfortunately, unforgivable in my eyes - this is definately one of them.

Lets face it, Rich, are you any worse off in your life for not having this "friend" around? No I doubt it. He deserves all the guilt he has for this.

 

[Jedi Shrimper]

As much as i'd like to take the high road if i were in your position and forgive/add him on facebook, i don't think I could. Anger isn't worth holding onto especially if you're happy now, this person has caused you grief before, so just click ignore and don't give it (or him) another thought.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Life's too short Rich, add him, you can always delete him later.

 

[toellandback]

Rich, his relationship is probably heading down the toilet and he knows what a puller you are, so he might want to slime into your current relationship. Tell him where to go ---- once a slimeball bird-nicker always a ****.

Fully agree with that, why make him feel better by adding him.

 

[SUFC_Al]

In my book what he done in the past is unforgivable, sod this life's too short malarky.

I had something similar when a guy who bullied me at school tried adding me, some people on here were saying I should get over it and add him but I don't forgive and forget that easily, especially as he was a mate before senior school then turned on me.

I have no time for people like that.

 

[BrettieAngell]

Tell him to F OFF Rich!

Doing the dirty on a mate is unforgivable in my book.

 

[Firestorm]

Just a thought, why not pretend you have forgotten who he is , then add him and then slag off the ex fiancee , adding that she ran off with someone , can't quite remember who , just that he was an almighty tosspot.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Just got a new friend request on Facebook.
I put it to the good people of ShrimperZone, do I add him or not?

Basically, the request is from a bloke I went to school with but lost touch at 16. Five or so years later, we bump into each other and go for a beer, he tells me how he's been engaged to some girl for a couple of years but how it's all about to go t1ts up. At that time, I've also had a long-term g/f and was about to propose seeing as I was just about to finish my studies. Me and this bloke get quite matey again (he even accompanied me to Roots Hall a few times).

Then about a year later, after my g/f accepts my proposal, the 3 of us arrange to go to France for a booze-cruise daytrip. Now, this is where it gets interesting, I said whatever you do, don't book it for Nov 27th (as I was going to a mate's birthday party) and lo & behold that's what he did. I wasn't that happy but being a trustworthy kind of a bloke, him & my g/f go off to France together for the day. I hear nothing from him after they get back and my fiancée goes all weird on me and this came to a head a couple of weeks later when she dumps me just before Christmas.

About a month later, I find out they're now an item and despite one final "goodbye" and another hare-brained scheme to win her back, it turns out that a year or so later they get married and have 2 (at least to my knowledge, some people have told me there's a third) kids. As with all relationship trauma you get over it, but I have to admit it took me years to feel OK with things and about 5 or 6 years after (just before I relocated to Glasgow) I was out with a group of friends for Sunday lunch and we bumped into their little family group. Having wondered "what if" for so long just seemed to evaporate in a split-second, as there was me (beautiful girl on arm), looking reasonably good and happy and popular compared to their regular "chatter" of family noise and bickering and the 2 of them looking almost grey with all the stress and apparent contempt for each other.

*edit* - I forgot to add this bloke was also supposed to be the best man at our wedding!!!

So, do I (8 years later) now add him on FB or tell him to **** off and crawl back under his stone? You decide! Poll will close Sunday.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Only add him if it gives you an opportunity to confront the SOB. Then you can pull his heart out of his chest with such venom that he will be able to spend a split-second looking at how black it is.

 

[Stats]

If that was me, i'd accept his friend request. It all happened a long time ago. However, if he then tried to be strike up conversation, asking how you've been etc, i wouldn't be too impressed...

Coming from the man who stole Biffa aka Chadded's birds recently. He wont be too happy when he comes back from Afgan, he'll have his guns ablazing for you young man.

 

[BrettieAngell]

If that was me, i'd accept his friend request. It all happened a long time ago. However, if he then tried to be strike up conversation, asking how you've been etc, i wouldn't be too impressed...

whats the point of adding him then?

 

[Bob Cratchitt]

At least she went off when she could not take half your house and future income or disrupt your kids lives. So he saved you a load of grief later on, especially as even though they were an item she still gave you a special goodbye, just showss d what sort of woman she is.

So in the light of that, I say add him, ****e happens.

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

You've got enough mates on Shrimperzone ;)

Has he???

:whistling: