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Favourite Funny Scenes from Films/Comedies

"Look. You've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals!

FOLLOWERS:
Yes, we're all individuals!
BRIAN:
You're all different!
FOLLOWERS:
Yes, we are all different!
DENNIS:
I'm not.
 
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There are probably about 100 scenes in Dumb and Dumber, I love the bit when he lights his fart... and also when he gives the budgie which it's head sellotaped on to the blind kid!
 
NEIL: Yeah, take it easy Vamp! You're messing with the big boys now!

VAMPIRE: (nicely) No, this is some kind of misunderstanding! I'm not a vampire! I'm a driving instructor! From Johannesburg!

[BRIEF CUT BACK TO: the band wraps up the song.]

VYVYAN: A driving instructor from Johannesburg? Prove it!
VAMPIRE: How?

VYVYAN: OK. What should you never do in a box junction?

VAMPIRE: In a box junction, you should never enter it unless your exit is clear!

VYVYAN: Ah, true. OK. What's the procedure for the approach of a humpback bridge?

VAMPIRE: Approaching a humpback bridge, you should slow down and check in both rear view mirrors. If nobody is behind you should RIP OUT THE VIRGIN'S THROAT AND ....

VYVYAN: Ah hah! Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha! Driving instructor my bottom! You're a vampire and there's no denying it!

VAMPIRE: Oh, Outspan.

RICK: Neil, what exactly does "messing with the big boys" entail?

NEIL: Uh, this.... [squirts him with the toilet cleaner]
 
I never really wanted to be a train driver, you know. I mean, they told me while at school, if I got two CSEs, when I left school I'd be head of British Steel. That's a lot of nonsense, ennit? I mean, you look at statistics, right. 83% of top British management have been to a public school and Oxbridge, right? 93% of the BBC have been to a public school and Oxbridge, right? 98% of the KGB have been to a public school and Oxbridge. All you get from a public school, right -- one, you get a top job, right, and two, you get an interest in perverse sexual practices. I mean, that's why British management's so inefficient. As soon as they get in the boardroom, they're all shutting each others' dicks in the door! "Go on, give it another slam, Sir Michael!" BAM! OW OW OW! "Come on, Sir Geoffrey, let's play the Panzer commander and the millkmaid, EW EW EW EW! YOO HOO!"
 
I laugh most of the way through Animal House because of whatever is going to happen next, John Belushi, comedy genius.
 
There are also too many to mention from Airplane, Airplane 2 and Top Secret but I think this is one of my favourites.....

Check it bleed...

Oh stewardess, I speak jive.

Flight 209-er you are cleared for take-off. Roger. Uh?

Rumack: This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine : A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

I now fear I'm going to spend the rest of the day watching clips from airplane. Again.
 
NEIL: Yeah, take it easy Vamp! You're messing with the big boys now!

VAMPIRE: (nicely) No, this is some kind of misunderstanding! I'm not a vampire! I'm a driving instructor! From Johannesburg!

[BRIEF CUT BACK TO: the band wraps up the song.]

VYVYAN: A driving instructor from Johannesburg? Prove it!
VAMPIRE: How?

VYVYAN: OK. What should you never do in a box junction?

VAMPIRE: In a box junction, you should never enter it unless your exit is clear!

VYVYAN: Ah, true. OK. What's the procedure for the approach of a humpback bridge?

VAMPIRE: Approaching a humpback bridge, you should slow down and check in both rear view mirrors. If nobody is behind you should RIP OUT THE VIRGIN'S THROAT AND ....

VYVYAN: Ah hah! Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha! Driving instructor my bottom! You're a vampire and there's no denying it!

VAMPIRE: Oh, Outspan.

RICK: Neil, what exactly does "messing with the big boys" entail?

NEIL: Uh, this.... [squirts him with the toilet cleaner]

Probably my favourite Young Ones! This actually came up in my driving test & having just watched this episode, I remembered the answer to this question!

I passed (1st Time, of course!) but it might have been down to having to do a second emergency stop for real at the end of my test!
 
Can't access at YouTube at work so can't post up the clip. However if I say it's from Planes, Trains & Automobiles and the key line is 'They're not cushions!' you should know what I'm on about.
 
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