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BaileytheQuitter

Spelling Guru
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
3,662
Location
Benfleet, Essex
Hi all.

I play for my local football team- Hadleigh Athletic, and have been writing match reports after the games. Ive always had a liking for writing, especially football reports. Just wondered if anyone would mind reading one of my reports and telling me if they think its any good. Its a bit long so i understand if you dont read but any feed back would be very welcome.

Cheers.

SALMON HAS HADLEIGH LEAPING FOR JOY.

A Shaun Salmon Brace secured Hadleig Athletic another hard earned point against fierce rivals Benfleet Villa. The Athletic hitman scored his fourth and fifth goals in the fifth game running taking him to joint first in the teams goal scoring ranks.

The matched started well for Hadleigh with the teams preferred starting eleven proving their worth with some slick football that was pleasing on the eye. Yet despite the teams hard work they failed to break down a determined Benfleet Villa side. In truth neither team, for all their grit and graft, looked able to break down the others defence.

Hadleighs defence would have been pleased with their start to the match, with a strong line being held and all threat created by Villa being thwarted out. It looked a stark contrast to the back line which had let in eight goals the week before. Yet for all the yard work Hadleigh were undone as a loose ball feel to the feet of a Benfleet Villa player who somehow managed to sqiurm the ball over Charlie Ince in the Hadleigh Athletic goal.

Yet unlike previous weeks heads did not drop, with much needed fight being shown. Hadleigh continued to persivere with their good football, refusing to be drawn into a long ball physical battle. However they went into half time one nil down and staring yet another defeat in the face.

A quick gulp of water and a bite of an orange was all the team had time for before they were called back to the field for the second half. There was a determined feel to the side that said- 'we WILL not lose this game, we can salvage a result.'

The second half started much like the first ended, good football being played yet no end result. Frustration was beggining to show when Shaun Salmon popped up to draw the game level, and in the process score his fourth goal of the current campaign. The ball bobbled sixteen yards from the goal where the striker hit the ball on the half volley into the left hand side of the net to send the team into euphoria. The passion and delight was clear on Salmon's face.

The team seemed to start to believe a win was attainable. They had the hope of securing he first three points of the season. However their plans were quickly undone when a through ball was poorly dealt with and the Benfleet Villa striker hit a hard shot under the body of the Hadleigh keeper to give his side the lead once again, and give Hadleigh yet another uphill task. They had been here before.

With twenty minutes to go Hadleigh attempted another assault upon the Benfleet goal but the ball was cleared with power to launch the home side on the counter attack. The ball beat the defence and the on-rushing striker beat the offside goal to see himself through on goal with only the keeper to beat. However a stiff challenge from Hadleigh's no-nonsence centre back; Sam Watkins saw the player tumble off the ball. After some deliberation the hadleigh defender was shown a red card, leaving the division two team with ten men and two one down.

Just when all seemed lost Shaun Salmon came to the teams rescue once more with a glorious goal which earnt his team a vital point in their mission to claw their way off the bottom of the league. A long ball was played through to the five in five striker who showed his pace and strength to race through before firing a brilliant low shot into the bottom of the goal. With all but three minutes to go and with the game at two all the game was played out and Hadleigh had claimed a superb point.

We caught up with goal-hero Shaun Salmon after the game who said- "Well you know these are the games you want to be playing in. I love the rivalry that comes with playing Villa, and it was fantastic to score two against my old club."

He continued, "Ive felt on top of my game the past few weeks and its great to repay the faith shown in me with goals for the team. But its not all about the goals, i felt the whole team were top notch today. Charlie was simply superb today in goal and has kept us in it."

FINAL COMMENTS- Make no qualms about it. This was a brilliant point for the team. It was arguably the teams best performances of the season. Shaun Salmon was once again clinical in front of goal, yet praise should be heaped upon the defence also who showed great fight and spirit against a strong Benfleet Villa strike force. The team now goes into the last two games still looking for their first win of the season. Yet if they can show this determination next season then the future is very bright indeed. The futures bright, the futures red and white.

UP THE HADDERS.

James Burton.
 
Hi all.

I play for my local football team- Hadleigh Athletic, and have been writing match reports after the games. Ive always had a liking for writing, especially football reports. Just wondered if anyone would mind reading one of my reports and telling me if they think its any good. Its a bit long so i understand if you dont read but any feed back would be very welcome.

Cheers.

SALMON HAS HADLEIGH LEAPING FOR JOY.

A Shaun Salmon Brace secured Hadleig Athletic another hard earned point against fierce rivals Benfleet Villa. The Athletic hitman scored his fourth and fifth goals in the fifth game running taking him to joint first in the teams goal scoring ranks.

The matched started well for Hadleigh with the teams preferred starting eleven proving their worth with some slick football that was pleasing on the eye. Yet despite the teams hard work they failed to break down a determined Benfleet Villa side. In truth neither team, for all their grit and graft, looked able to break down the others defence.

Hadleighs defence would have been pleased with their start to the match, with a strong line being held and all threat created by Villa being thwarted out. It looked a stark contrast to the back line which had let in eight goals the week before. Yet for all the yard work Hadleigh were undone as a loose ball feel to the feet of a Benfleet Villa player who somehow managed to sqiurm the ball over Charlie Ince in the Hadleigh Athletic goal.

Yet unlike previous weeks heads did not drop, with much needed fight being shown. Hadleigh continued to persivere with their good football, refusing to be drawn into a long ball physical battle. However they went into half time one nil down and staring yet another defeat in the face.

A quick gulp of water and a bite of an orange was all the team had time for before they were called back to the field for the second half. There was a determined feel to the side that said- 'we WILL not lose this game, we can salvage a result.'

The second half started much like the first ended, good football being played yet no end result. Frustration was beggining to show when Shaun Salmon popped up to draw the game level, and in the process score his fourth goal of the current campaign. The ball bobbled sixteen yards from the goal where the striker hit the ball on the half volley into the left hand side of the net to send the team into euphoria. The passion and delight was clear on Salmon's face.

The team seemed to start to believe a win was attainable. They had the hope of securing he first three points of the season. However their plans were quickly undone when a through ball was poorly dealt with and the Benfleet Villa striker hit a hard shot under the body of the Hadleigh keeper to give his side the lead once again, and give Hadleigh yet another uphill task. They had been here before.

With twenty minutes to go Hadleigh attempted another assault upon the Benfleet goal but the ball was cleared with power to launch the home side on the counter attack. The ball beat the defence and the on-rushing striker beat the offside goal to see himself through on goal with only the keeper to beat. However a stiff challenge from Hadleigh's no-nonsence centre back; Sam Watkins saw the player tumble off the ball. After some deliberation the hadleigh defender was shown a red card, leaving the division two team with ten men and two one down.

Just when all seemed lost Shaun Salmon came to the teams rescue once more with a glorious goal which earnt his team a vital point in their mission to claw their way off the bottom of the league. A long ball was played through to the five in five striker who showed his pace and strength to race through before firing a brilliant low shot into the bottom of the goal. With all but three minutes to go and with the game at two all the game was played out and Hadleigh had claimed a superb point.

We caught up with goal-hero Shaun Salmon after the game who said- "Well you know these are the games you want to be playing in. I love the rivalry that comes with playing Villa, and it was fantastic to score two against my old club."

He continued, "Ive felt on top of my game the past few weeks and its great to repay the faith shown in me with goals for the team. But its not all about the goals, i felt the whole team were top notch today. Charlie was simply superb today in goal and has kept us in it."

FINAL COMMENTS- Make no qualms about it. This was a brilliant point for the team. It was arguably the teams best performances of the season. Shaun Salmon was once again clinical in front of goal, yet praise should be heaped upon the defence also who showed great fight and spirit against a strong Benfleet Villa strike force. The team now goes into the last two games still looking for their first win of the season. Yet if they can show this determination next season then the future is very bright indeed. The futures bright, the futures red and white.

UP THE HADDERS.

James Burton.

Superb! For the type of game this was, the report was spot on. Why not send this to the Echo and express your interest in writing match reports, would be worth a go.

Good work mate.
 
Thanks very much. :)

Im only 17, doing my A levels in English Lang, Media, Drama and History.

Always been something ive been intrested in.

Might just send it into the echo.

Appreciated.
 
No worries.

You could also try sending it in to the non league paper (quality publication produced on a Sunday for everything non league).

:)
 
What at uni?

Defo something id be intrested in if so.

Yeah. I'm in my Second year on a Sports Journalism degree at Brighton. Brighton, Staffordshire (Stoke), Lancashire (Preston) and Huddersfield offer Sports Journo courses, but the one in Brighton (Eastbourne Campus) is the only one in the country that has the NTCJ Accreditation.

If you're interested in being a Journalist, it's well worth a look. I'd highly recommend it despite it putting me off print journalism all together, but they demonstrate to you that it's not the only avenue to go down.

Look here for more info: http://courses.brighton.ac.uk/course.php?cnum=33
 
Yeah. I'm in my Second year on a Sports Journalism degree at Brighton. Brighton, Staffordshire (Stoke), Lancashire (Preston) and Huddersfield offer Sports Journo courses, but the one in Brighton (Eastbourne Campus) is the only one in the country that has the NTCJ Accreditation.

If you're interested in being a Journalist, it's well worth a look. I'd highly recommend it despite it putting me off print journalism all together, but they demonstrate to you that it's not the only avenue to go down.

Look here for more info: http://courses.brighton.ac.uk/course.php?cnum=33
I applied for a few of those funnily enough. I just got rejected by Brighton but have been asked to come and have a look round at Staffordshire which is good. Its a shame really because Brighton was my preferred option, Stafforshire is quite far away.
 
I must admit ive been lacking focus and direction in college recenlty, not knowing where i was going.
I have been there mate. Has your college got a career department? Some are pretty useless but its always worth seeing them as they can sort you out with some good advice. :)
 
I applied for a few of those funnily enough. I just got rejected by Brighton but have been asked to come and have a look round at Staffordshire which is good. Its a shame really because Brighton was my preferred option, Stafforshire is quite far away.

Staffordshire have really good facilities and a really good link with Stoke City FC... Best for Multimedia apparently.
 
Really? That sounds quite promising, I'm probably just scared about coming home with a funny accent.

Less said about the area the better i'm afraid :(

Still, right now i'm living in the **** end of Eastbourne, surrounded by Polish immigrants and drug addled asbo kids and loving it.
 
Less said about the area the better i'm afraid :(

Still, right now i'm living in the **** end of Eastbourne, surrounded by Polish immigrants and drug addled asbo kids and loving it.
:D Sounds fun. I have an offer from Chichester University aswell but I am not as enthusiastic about the course.
 
Yeah I applied for Sports Journalism as well. Brighton accepted me, but there's no way I'll get the points required to go there, so I'm thinking London but they still haven't got back to me. If that fails, it'll have to be Leeds!
 
SALMON HAS HADLEIGH LEAPING FOR JOY.

A Shaun Salmon Brace secured Hadleigh Athletic another hard earned point against fierce rivals Benfleet Villa. The Athletic hitman scored his fourth and fifth goals in the fifth game running [in the last 5 games?] taking him to joint first in the teams goal scoring ranks[too wordy].

The matched started well for Hadleigh with[is the word "with" necessary? the teams preferred starting eleven proving their worth [try not to overdo the cliches]with some slick football that was pleasing on the eye. Yet despite [Does the word "yet" add anything to it?]the teams hard work they failed to break down a determined Benfleet Villa side. In truth neither team, for all their grit and graft, looked able to break down the others defence.

Hadleighs defence would have been pleased with their start to the match, with a strong line being held and all threat created by Villa being thwarted out[thwarted out?. It looked a stark contrast to the back line which had let in eight goals the week before. Yet for all the yardpresumably you mean "hard" work Hadleigh were undone as a loose ball feel[another typo] to the feet of a Benfleet Villa player who somehow managed to sqiurm[spelling! Also "squirmed" is a lot more powerful than "somehow managed to squirm"] the ball over Charlie Ince in the Hadleigh Athletic goal Punctuation?

Yet[how many times have you used the word "yet"? Variety! Its probably not even needed here.] unlike previous weeks heads did not drop, with much needed fight being shown. Hadleigh continued to persivere [spelling!] with their good football, refusing to be drawn into a long ball physical battle. However they went into half time one nil down and staring yet another defeat in the face.

A quick gulp of water and a bite of an orange was all the team had time for before they were called back to the field for the second half. There was a determined feel to the side that said- 'we WILL not lose this game, we can salvage a result.'

The second half started much like the first ended, good football being played yet no end result. Frustration was beggining to show when Shaun Salmon popped up to draw the game level, and in the process score his fourth goal of the current campaign. The ball bobbled sixteen yards from the goal where the striker hit the ball on the half volley into the left hand side of the net to send the team into euphoria. The passion and delight was clear on Salmon's face.

The team seemed to start to believe a win was attainable. They had the hope of securing he first three points of the season. However their plans were quickly undone when a through ball was poorly dealt with and the Benfleet Villa striker hit a hard shot under the body of the Hadleigh keeper to give his side the lead once again, and give Hadleigh yet another uphill task. They had been here before.

With twenty minutes to go Hadleigh attempted another assault upon the Benfleet goal but the ball was cleared with power to launch the home side on the counter attack. The ball beat the defence and the on-rushing striker beat the offside goal to see himself through on goal with only the keeper to beat. However a stiff challenge from Hadleigh's no-nonsence centre back; Sam Watkins saw the player tumble off the ball. After some deliberation the hadleigh defender was shown a red card, leaving the division two team with ten men and two one down.

Just when all seemed lost Shaun Salmon came to the teams rescue once more with a glorious goal which earnt his team a vital point in their mission to claw their way off the bottom of the league. A long ball was played through to the five in five striker who showed his pace and strength to race through before firing a brilliant low shot into the bottom of the goal. With all but three minutes to go and with the game at two all the game was played out and Hadleigh had claimed a superb point.

We caught up with goal-hero Shaun Salmon after the game who said- "Well you know these are the games you want to be playing in. I love the rivalry that comes with playing Villa, and it was fantastic to score two against my old club."

He continued, "Ive felt on top of my game the past few weeks and its great to repay the faith shown in me with goals for the team. But its not all about the goals, i felt the whole team were top notch today. Charlie was simply superb today in goal and has kept us in it."

FINAL COMMENTS- Make no qualms about it. This was a brilliant point for the team. It was arguably the teams best performances of the season. Shaun Salmon was once again clinical in front of goal, yet praise should be heaped upon the defence also who showed great fight and spirit against a strong Benfleet Villa strike force. The team now goes into the last two games still looking for their first win of the season. Yet if they can show this determination next season then the future is very bright indeed. The futures bright, the futures red and white.

UP THE HADDERS.

James Burton.

Not bad, particularly for a first attempt, but it can be improved a lot.

I've added some comments in bold, until I got bored.


*Try not to use so many clichés. The Echo/club web-site is not the style to aspire to. Instead see how Slipper's writing looks far more original rather than regurgitating "tired clichés".
*You use far too many superfluous words. If a word doesn't add anything to your sentence don't use it. Read through each sentence line by line and consider whether each word is necessary. Otherwise you are diluting your message.
* Apostrophes. Learn how to use them.
* Actually proof-read your article rather than rely on spell-check (which would be a start!). You can't send a piece in to a potential employer that is riddled with typos.
 
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