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Blue tinted optimist
Oct 28, 2003
Cloud cuckoo land
RM - Ok, who's first. Anton. How are things and how do you feel about Philip?

AF - Not bad. However, I keep having problems with my legs. People keep telling me that at some point you'll realise that your legs are gone, but every time I look down they're still there. I can't understand what the issue is. As for the gaffer... well, he's come out with some odd stuff recently. Said we've played well when we haven't, said we've been rubbish when we've played well, I reckon he's lost it.

RM - Thanks Anton. Next up = Michael Kightly. What's happening Michael?

MK - Well the gaffer said I was going to be the first name on the teamsheet, regardless of whether I was fit or not. That's ok with me. As long as I get my money. Just think... I could have been in the States... Still. I'm paid well and I can always go out there in a couple of years time.

RM - Mr Timlin, how about you? How do you think Philip is doing?

MTi - I won't have a word said against him. Fantastic manager. Absolutely the number one guy.

RM - Thank you Michael. Rob Kiernan - nice to see you. What do you think?

RK - About what?

RM - The teams performances and the manager.

RK - How would I know? Ben Clarkson's ok but beyond that I couldn't tell you.

RM - OK, fair enough. Mr Turner?

MTu - Echo what Rob said about Ben. The boss keeps threatening to sit me on the pitch again and I told him I'm not having that. I dunno why he waited so long to play me mind... I've been fit since September!

RM - Hmm. Mr Coker, what about you?

BC - Well I can't believe what I've come back into... Ben's the man though. Agree there.

RM - Ryan? Ryan? RYAN?

All - He's been sold to Sheffield Utd.

RM - Was that what all those meetings were about? I thought it was to do with us getting a loan or two from them. Josh, your hand is up?

JWr - Your hair looks nice Mr Martin.

RM - Thank you... vice captain for you then.

JWh - What about me?

RM - Too slow Mr White, should have piped up sooner. But as it's your turn... your instagram posts are good and I'm sure that there was some good pictures of you and your garden. Fancy a job? The pitch is looking a bit dodgy and your lawn is ace!

JWh - But I'm a right back...

RM - Not any more. We've got Jason and Elvis for that. Now... where's Mr Cox?

SC - Here Ron.

RM - Player manager role for you? See us through? I want to play a 7 - 1 - 1 - 1 formation with you as the lone striker. How does that sound? We'll put Ben Clarkson in goal... nothing will get past him. In defence I want everyone fit to play across the back... Jason at right back, Ben Coker at left back, Anton, Michael Turner, Harry, Elvis and John White in the middle. Michael Kightlly in front of the back 7 with Josh Wright behind Coxy up front.
Now... onto Philip... hang on... what do you mean he's on the phone? To Stoke? Hmmm... might save me a job...