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Matt the Shrimp

aka Harry Potter
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
19,929
Location
Lewisham, London
Cracking edition of FourFourTwo this month... largely because there is a big article on the Essex derby.  Jamie Forsyth is to be commended on some particularly choice quotes about our bucolic rivals from the north of the county:

<span style='color:blue'>"Col******r is a footballing backwater," retorts Forsyth.  "...they're more East Anglian than Essex, really.  They're carrot-crunching inbreds, farmers married to their sisters and all that."</span>

<span style='color:red'>"We're now expecting to beat teams like Col******r.  We're a bigger club than them by some distance"</span>

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Top stuff, Jai.

There's also a superb article on the 30 worst ever reffing decisions - my fave line is about "The Russian Linesman" (itself a great phrase, in that even though it happened before I was born, I still  know who the Russian Linesman was).  Anyhow, the line is as follows:

<span style='color:blue'>Bakhramov, meanwhile, is forever remembered as 'the Russian Linesman', despite the fact that he was Azerbaijani.  Asked on his death-bed how he could be sure that Hurst's shot had crossed the line, he is said to have replied with a single word:

"Stalingrad"</span>

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nice bit in planet football as well about Rob (buzz lightyear) Newman and how he is getting on at cambridge.
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Oct. 06 2005,10:44)]Cracking edition of FourFourTwo this month... largely because there is a big article on the Essex derby.  Jamie Forsyth is to be commended on some particularly choice quotes about our bucolic rivals from the north of the county:

<span style='color:blue'>"Col******r is a footballing backwater," retorts Forsyth.  "...they're more East Anglian than Essex, really.  They're carrot-crunching inbreds, farmers married to their sisters and all that."</span>

<span style='color:red'>"We're now expecting to beat teams like Col******r.  We're a bigger club than them by some distance"</span>

biggrin.gif


Top stuff, Jai.

There's also a superb article on the 30 worst ever reffing decisions - my fave line is about "The Russian Linesman" (itself a great phrase, in that even though it happened before I was born, I still  know who the Russian Linesman was).  Anyhow, the line is as follows:

<span style='color:blue'>Bakhramov, meanwhile, is forever remembered as 'the Russian Linesman', despite the fact that he was Azerbaijani.  Asked on his death-bed how he could be sure that Hurst's shot had crossed the line, he is said to have replied with a single word:

"Stalingrad"</span>

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I remember being quite placid during my interview, they've obviously only taken the juicy bits, journalistic license I suppose can't complain. It's a decent article by Si Hawkins.
 
Funnily enough I had a job interview with a Col Ewe fan this morning but refrained from mentioning the mighty Shrimpers - I dont want him to feel threatened by a superior&#33;&#33;
 
Got my copy this morning - Superb...

Lovely bit at the start where the Col******r fan says he hates coming to Southend and it will make him sick to pit of his stomach if they lose.

Also some good snaps in there. Well worth £3.70 ( Especially as the girlfriend paid)

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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Oct. 06 2005,10:44)]Cracking edition of FourFourTwo this month... largely because there is a big article on the Essex derby.
Oh do try & keep up Matt!  Or were you again using your legendary bully boy tactics by ignoring my post, now relegated to page 7.
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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Hooly @ Sep. 30 2005,22:11)]The November issue of 442 dropped through my letterbox today & I find that page 88 starts an article entitled "The Derby That Time Forgot".  Yes it's about the Mighty Shrimpers vs Cull Ewe.

The main picture shows Darryl leaping salmon like seemingly about 20 feet in the air.  Oh and catching the ball at the same time!  Magnificent from Flaphavan or a very low camera angle.  
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Some heroes & villains are highlighted including Super Roy, Peter Daley (who can forget that goal) & suprisingly Glenn Pennyfather.
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Various quotes by fans etc with the best a "They're carrot-crunching inbreds, farmers married to their sisters" from All at Sea's Jamie Forsyth.   A claim which is completely vindicated by the 2 (or it could be a large 2 headed one) Scum fans pictured on page 90 who if they're anything but inbred are certainly not human.
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Stereotypical Essex boy/girl etc stuff as it is, still quite a good read as it points out several times how superior we are to them!  
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Not the bully boy tactics this time, Piers... just an inability to keep up.

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Anyhow, haven&#39;t you got some Hamilton Accies reserve games you should be watching...

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If you look at the picture on page 92 you can see Leeboy in the crowd
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Now he can change his signature to &quot;As seen on TV, as seen in magazines and as heard on radio&quot;
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Damn entertaining article it was too. It&#39;s nice to see us get a mention in FourFourTwo asd usually they mention everyone else BUT us...
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Good article&#33; I particularly like the Jai&#39;s quote about the carrot munching inbreds sitting directly above a picture of two incredibly rural looking Col Ewe muppets&#33; However, for a sobering article, particularly in light of Tilly&#39;s award, turn to page 54&#33;
 
I thought that choice of photo was absolutely priceless. Could they have found two more inbred-looking people in the entire world?
I actually think the article favours us quite strongly, I wonder what they have to say about it up there in the north of the county?
 
I saw a couple in a field earlier today. The male remained tight lipped and all the female said was &quot;Baa&quot;, or was it the other way around?..........
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No female ever remains tight-lipped. It couldn&#39;t therefore EVER be the other way round.

End of.
 
I did say &#39;remains&#39;, thought the hint was strong enough...
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In any case, you are right fish,especially around Ewes territory&#33;&#33; Wizard&#39;s sleeves come to mind&#33;&#33;&#33;
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Oct. 06 2005,13:13)]Anyhow, haven't you got some Hamilton Accies reserve games you should be watching...

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Matt.  That's no fun any more as the barsteward scored a goal in September!  
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 That's 2 this season!  The man's a veritable goal machine!

<span style='color:blue'>Scott Tunbridge got down the right wing and his perfect cutback was mis-hit by Pat Keogh straight to a home defender. He got in a real fankle and the ball rolled nicely into the path of Graeme Jones, who made no mistake from close range.</span>
How close can "close range" really be?  
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 Sounds like top quality stuff.  Fankle?? Anyone?

<span style='color:blue'>Brown Ferguson replaced Graeme Jones with 7 minutes left and Jones was yellow carded by the referee for leaving the pitch too slowly.</span>
How slow can "too slowly" be?  Lets face it he never got out of a very, very low gear for us!  
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<span style='color:blue'>Accies held out without too many problems and certainly deserved to take full points from the game..............However, there was an obvious lack of pace about the front line and that will give manager Billy Reid some cause for concern.</span>
You don't say!  
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got the mag today, they made southend sound like a s%&amp;t hole, they must have not visited Col******r&#33;
Col******r has a nicer swimming pool, thats about it&#33;
Nice to see us getting bigged up in 442 though
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They obviously haven&#39;t visited Greenstead, which is where my brother stayed when he went to uni. Two people have been stabbed there recently. Got to admit though, *dons tin hat* our town centre isn&#39;t as aesthetically pleasing as theirs - no thanks to the council and it being dug up every five minutes.
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Jai @ Oct. 06 2005,20:31)]They obviously haven&#39;t visited Greenstead, which is where my brother stayed when he went to uni. Two people have been stabbed there recently. Got to admit though, *dons tin hat* our town centre isn&#39;t as aesthetically pleasing as theirs - no thanks to the council and it being dug up every five minutes.
You are right. Roots Hall v Layer Road apart, Col******r as a town &amp; area has more going for it than Southend - this is from someone who is/has lived in both places.
 
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