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Joined
Nov 4, 2003
Messages
15,285
Location
Rayleigh
Just to pass a few moments:

Five footie things which make I laugh!

1) Whenever someone calls the keeper a custodian
2) Those moments when someone shouts "Sh*t ball" half a second before a cross is headed into the goal.
3) "Early doors"
4) "He hit it too well"
5) When we sing 'by far the greatest team the world has ever seen' even when we're losing

Thinking caps gents (and ladies)...
 
Stick it in the mixer!!

Are we all builders??
rock.gif
 
He's on his bike!
The keepers hung his leg out to dry!
He's only got one foot!
 
Random hand gestures from various members of the bench to players on the pitch which really don't mean much at all.
 
1) My Granny can play better then that... and she's been dead for xx years (what an amazing punchline)

2) " 'It it... f**kin' 'it the ball... 'ave a go" (player does... misses by a mile). "Don't believe ir... so and so was waiting for the pass!" (I heard this a number of times... and just proves that players can do nowt right sometimes)

3) Lots of pressure. Supporters sing, "We're gonna score in a minute"... then the other team score on the break.

4) Supporters that say "Don't know why I bother paying to watch this cr*p. That's it for me." (But you know they'll be back for more, game after game... season after season)

5) Our "scoreboard"!

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[b said:
Quote[/b] (overseas shrimper @ July 23 2004,17:09)]5) Our "scoreboard"!

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*shakes head ruefully at the very thought of it... Victoria Circus, indeed*

- - - -

Other things that make me smile:

1. When the South Upper sings the circus tune when someone does something stupid on the pitch.

2. oooooooooOOO<span style='font-size:10pt;line-height:100%'>OOOOO</span><span style='font-size:13pt;line-height:100%'>OOOOO</span><span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>OOOOOOOOOH! YOU'RE SHÍT! AAAAAAHHH!</span>

3. When I'm sitting next to Kath in the front row of the South Upper (C-Block Blue) and the bloke behind me in the second row starts shouting and his voice goes up an octave (you know who you are).

4. Driving down Prittlewell Chase at night-time and seeing the floodlights of Roots Hall switched on.

5. "You are my Southend.... OOH!", especially when the SZ gang all sang it together on the away terrace at Moss Rose (thank you JS). Made my day, that did.

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Matt
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Southend Shrimp @ July 23 2004,17:32)]&quot;he couldn&#39;t hit a cows arse with a banjo.&quot;

I wonder how many people have actually tried to do that.
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Whilst at school a couple of years ago, we went on a school trip to cornwall (I think) to help do our Geography coursework, and we had to stay at a YMCA hostal. It was in the middle of nowhere and the were fields about with cows in. We got bored one night and we dared a mate to go in a field with about 60 cows in and spank the arse of a cow with his hand. As soon as he got within 10 feet of the cows huddled in a corner of the field, they started stampeding at him, he ran off with the cows in chase, he ran towards a nearby tree but couldn&#39;t climb it so grabbed a broken branch from the ground and prepared to battle the cows.

And did he stand his ground?

















































Did he b******s. He ran towards the barbed wire fence, and climbed up it, and after getting one leg over the top of the fence,in his hurry, lost his footing and procceded to land one leg either side of the barbed wire, and when he eventually got over the fence and arrived back to where we were, for his troubles, one of us &#39;antiqued&#39; him. (Covered him in flour for those that haven&#39;t watch Jackass)
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ July 23 2004,17:49)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Southend Shrimp @ July 23 2004,17:32)]"he couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo."

I wonder how many people have actually tried to do that.  
rock.gif
Whilst at school a couple of years ago, we went on a school trip to cornwall (I think) to help do our Geography coursework, and we had to stay at a YMCA hostal.  It was in the middle of nowhere and the were fields about with cows in.  We got bored one night and we dared a mate to go in a field with about 60 cows in and spank the arse of a cow with his hand.  As soon as he got within 10 feet of the cows huddled in a corner of the field, they started stampeding at him, he ran off with the cows in chase, he ran towards a nearby tree but couldn't climb it so grabbed a broken branch from the ground and prepared to battle the cows.

And did he stay there?

















































Did he b******s. He ran towards the barbed wire fence, and climbed up it, and after getting one leg over the top of the fence,in his hurry, lost his footing and procceded to land one leg either side of the barbed wire, and when he eventually got over the fence and arrived back to where we were, for his troubles, one of us 'antiqued' him. (Covered him in flour for those that haven't watch Jackass)
So who nicked his banjo then?!

rock.gif


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[b said:
Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ July 23 2004,18:07)]Well it was a fond memory to do with cows and hitting them but without the banjo so 2 out of 3 isn&#39;t bad.
Fair enough. Made me chuckle anyhow
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ July 23 2004,17:49)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Southend Shrimp @ July 23 2004,17:32)]"he couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo."

I wonder how many people have actually tried to do that.  
rock.gif
Whilst at school a couple of years ago, we went on a school trip to cornwall (I think) to help do our Geography coursework, and we had to stay at a YMCA hostal.  It was in the middle of nowhere and the were fields about with cows in.  We got bored one night and we dared a mate to go in a field with about 60 cows in and spank the arse of a cow with his hand.  As soon as he got within 10 feet of the cows huddled in a corner of the field, they started stampeding at him, he ran off with the cows in chase, he ran towards a nearby tree but couldn't climb it so grabbed a broken branch from the ground and prepared to battle the cows.

And did he stand his ground?

















































Did he b******s. He ran towards the barbed wire fence, and climbed up it, and after getting one leg over the top of the fence,in his hurry, lost his footing and procceded to land one leg either side of the barbed wire, and when he eventually got over the fence and arrived back to where we were, for his troubles, one of us 'antiqued' him. (Covered him in flour for those that haven't watch Jackass)
laugh.gif


Excellent.
 
1. Hearing that Mr. Jobson had left the club

2. Hearing that Mr. Whelan had left the club

3. Hearing that Mr. Martin had left the club

4. Hearing that Mr. Wignall had left the club.

5. Hearing that Mr. Robson had left the club

etc.
 
What really does me in is people who sit in the South Stand (including me) who abuse the ref &amp; lino for getting offside decsions wrong. Are we really in the best position to see?
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[b said:
Quote[/b] (southender @ July 23 2004,22:38)]What really does me in is people who sit in the South Stand (including me) who abuse the ref &amp; lino for getting offside decsions wrong. Are we really in the best position to see?
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Absolutely&#33; For instance, I could tell clearly that the pen against Canvey was actually the Canvey player backing in and should have been a free kick to us, and I was 700 miles away. Even with that view, I am clearly more qualified to judge than the match officials.




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Remember...


1. Chipmunk crisps
2. Bovril
3. The shout of &quot;Windy&#33;&quot; when the &#39;keeper booted it vertical
4. Terracing&#33;
5. The blanket they used to collect your change in
6. The sweets trolley


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[b said:
Quote[/b] (RobM. @ July 24 2004,09:44)]Remember...


1. Chipmunk crisps
2. Bovril
3. The shout of &quot;Windy&#33;&quot; when the &#39;keeper booted it vertical
4. Terracing&#33;
5. The blanket they used to collect your change in
6. The sweets trolley


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Yep, good memories, you must be the right age to remember

....hiring cushions for the East Stand seats, and the rain of cushions onto the pitch as the players left the pitch after another poor game.
 
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