Greatest Chat up Lines

[Dick Bate's Protege]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/8208562/Best-chat-up-lines-revealed.html

All you would be Romeo's out there should comment on the magnificence of a woman's lips if you wanna get lucky.

Personally, I walked up to my future Mrs in the Pink Toothbrush, who was being chatted up by my best mate, and said; 'You don't wanna hang around with this loser babbyyeee...Meet me on my horse in ten seconds.'

How did you fellow shrimpers pull/get pulled?

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

I used to produce a match day fanzine and my wife wrote in a few times,i thought she was a he because of her bad writing(thought her name was clive) but noticed the fanny sounding voice when i rang her up.
14 years later im still cursing my mistake,but she still has the great nipples that melted my heart.

 

[MK Shrimper]

I met my love by the gas works wall, Dreamed a dream by the old canal, I kissed a girl by the factory wall.

It could be that, or I could be confusing my life with a Pogues song....

 

[chadded]

I walked into a club, as she walked out, she commented on how good looking I was. The rest is history.

That might sound arrogant, but it's completely true. I mean, when the package is this pretty, she was bound to comment..

 

[EastStandBlue]

Get in the van. I have a knife.

 

[chadded]

Get in the van. I have a knife.

I've been issued, through work, the following:

A Bayonet.
Plasticuffs,
a headover/balaclava,
Morphine,
Latex gloves.

It's like the Army want me to be a rapist.

 

[davewebbsbrain]

Excuse me love, can I smell your fanny? NO, oh it must be your feet then.

 

[Swiss Tony]

Watch out darling,there's a thief in the building,someones stolen a horses head and stuck it on your shoulders,knocks em dead.

 

[davewebbsbrain]

Get in the van. I have a knife.

Excuse me sweetheart, does this smell like chloroform to you?

 

[Swiss Tony]

My name is Dick,do ya like it?

 

[Bluesmanager]

"well I'm lucky number 7 then".

Said to me by my missus after I told her I was 0 for 6 on the relationship front.

 

[Dick Bate's Protege]

'You don't sweat much for a fat bird.'

 

[ibwiajwa]

Top Christian chat up line: "From heaven you came, helpless babe....."

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

Top muslim chat up line....hold on a min,when i blow myself up for mo,ham,head you will be the only virgin missing,h well theres loads others waiting for me.

 

[Tangled up in Blue]

I met my love by the gas works wall, Dreamed a dream by the old canal, I kissed a girl by the factory wall.

It could be that, or I could be confusing my life with a Pogues song....

Ewan McColl.It was a classic on the folkclub circuit years before The Pogues ever picked up on it.

Notice the article doesn't mention anything about chatting up French birds.Can't remember the chat up line that I used now but it was at a mate's party in Chalkwell and..........................................it worked!

 

[MK Shrimper]

Ewan McColl.It was a classic on the folkclub circuit years before The Pogues ever picked up on it.

Yes I do know you old pedantic lefty git :joke:

 

[Tangled up in Blue]

Yes I do know you old pedantic lefty git :joke:

Pedantic old,please.:winking:

 

[chadded]

I was standing in the queue for a club once and i pointed at a girl with big boobies who walked past and told her that ''they'' were my pillows for the night. In the end, they weren't my pillows that night, but I they were a time after..

 

[Stats]

I earn a very good wage, live in my own gaff and have a nice new motor.

Worked a treat.

 

[Napster]

I know Leeboy. The rest is history.