Hounds of Hell

[Slipperduke]

I used to get these horrible recurring nightmares when I was a teenager. It was every single evening and it was absolutely terrifying. I’d drift off and be transported to a cold, dark forest where I was being chased by a pack of dogs. The dogs were so real and no matter how fast I ran, I could never get away from them, they always closed in and I’d wake up, drenched in sweat, as they pounced. One night, after they got closer than usual, I got out of bed and, to my horror, discovered that my boxer shorts were torn at the back and I had a vicious puncture wound to my right buttock. Try rationalising that at 3am. Thankfully, before bursting into my parents room and announcing to them that I was being stalked by the devil’s hounds of hell, I had the good sense to check my bed where I discovered that a sharp spring had come through the mattress and skewered me like a hairy kebab. All of this is a very convoluted way of saying that just because Manchester United’s relentless pursuit of another title may seem like a nightmare to Arsenal fans, doesn’t make it any less dangerous.

United’s callous destruction of Newcastle last weekend was a sight to behold. The Geordies went into the game thinking that a good performance could put them back on the rails and begin their revival. They came out of it wondering if the second flight had changed much since they last played in it. Carlos Queiroz alarmed the home fans when he arrived at Old Trafford by urging Sir Alex Ferguson to play a complicated 4-5-1, but it’s now evolved into a formation that defies description and is almost impossible to play against. There is so much talent, so much application in their ranks that even a bitter old United-hater like myself has warmed to them.

You have to hand it to Sir Alex Ferguson, he knows how to chase down his quarry. United started the season at a gentle cruise, laughably causing some people to write them out of the title race before the end of August. Now they’re in top gear, scoring goals for fun with an inter-changeable midfield that allows the kind of effective rotation that Rafa Benitez would kill for. Who’s laughing now, eh? Three weeks ago I was at a press conference at The Emirates where a foolish journalist asked Arsene Wenger if his team’s five point lead meant that Arsenal were home and dry in the title race. Thankfully, Wenger is no fool and quashed any talk of it instantly. It may have been a few years since he and Sir Alex raced for the finishing line together, but he hasn’t forgotten their old duels. He knew that United would react with complete indifference to the gap, knowing that one slip up would make it look considerably smaller. Last week, Birmingham were kind enough to provide the banana and now it’s wide open again

Today they travel to Fulham, where they could probably field the reserves and bring home maximum points and if anything goes wrong at The Emirates, United will go top. Now that is the stuff of nightmares. Of course, it’s still completely in the balance. Describing United as the runaway favourites today is as ludicrous as giving Arsenal the same label three weeks ago. But however much Arsenal fans pinch themselves and try to wake up, there’s no denying it. Ferguson’s hounds are closing in on them all the time.

 

[sufcintheprem]

Is there a journalistic term for a final sentence that refers to the first paragraph? Expertly done here of course. I think I was maybe looking for it too much when Birmingham providing the banana and a puncture wound to the buttock all seem to be a combined reference to an alarming incident involving a friend at uni and thankfully not myself.

Slightly more relevantly, I thought at the time that writing Man Utd off early season was folly - their defence was outstanding and they were missing Ronaldo and Rooney. In spite of a defeat to a Man City team which almost has an air of inevitability these days, they were still well in contention all along.