How does my work mate get out of this problem. (Not for kids)

[DTS]

Right,

I have a work mate. I have been asked by him not to name him in case an of you boys ever meet him. So For to preserve his anonimity I will name him Neb.

Right no Neb is at home the night before last - He usually lives with his Mrs but she has been away in Amsterdam on a "course" for a week. She was due back yesterday afternoon.

So Neb got in after a few beers with his mate and as us men do was feeling a little frisky. As his Mrs has been away for a week its only natural.

Neb decided that the only way to relieve his frustrations was to bash one out. So he loads up the internet and cracks one out. Seconds before impact he realises he has no tissues so he grabs the first thing to hand which happens to be his Mrs T-Shirt. No major issues as he can bung it in the wash before she ever get home.

Sadly as Neb is so off his tits he forgets to do this and comes to work.

Low and behond his Mrs comes home and as Neb is a right lazy ******* he hasn't tidied up much either so his Mrs gets stuck. You guessed it - She founds the man milk covered top. Not only that he has left a load of goo and the side of the computer table too......

Now his Mrs HATES his watching porn as she feels its a form of cheating. She was out at her parents last night but tonight she has told Neb that he needs to explains why her best top is ruined.

Neb cant confess to the porno as it will be a life of hell. He needs your help to come up with a remoltely plausable reason why he has his spuff all over her top.....

HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Napster]

Sorry. He's screwed.

 

[Yer Blues]

is it me or does his girlfriend seem like a bit of hard work?

 

[Cricko]

Right,

I have a work mate. I have been asked by him not to name him in case an of you boys ever meet him. So For to preserve his anonimity I will name him Neb.

Right no Neb is at home the night before last - He usually lives with his Mrs but she has been away in Amsterdam on a "course" for a week. She was due back yesterday afternoon.

So Neb got in after a few beers with his mate and as us men do was feeling a little frisky. As his Mrs has been away for a week its only natural.

Neb decided that the only way to relieve his frustrations was to bash one out. So he loads up the internet and cracks one out. Seconds before impact he realises he has no tissues so he grabs the first thing to hand which happens to be his Mrs T-Shirt. No major issues as he can bung it in the wash before she ever get home.

Sadly as Neb is so off his tits he forgets to do this and comes to work.

Low and behond his Mrs comes home and as Neb is a right lazy ******* he hasn't tidied up much either so his Mrs gets stuck. You guessed it - She founds the man milk covered top. Not only that he has left a load of goo and the side of the computer table too......

Now his Mrs HATES his watching porn as she feels its a form of cheating. She was out at her parents last night but tonight she has told Neb that he needs to explains why her best top is ruined.

Neb cant confess to the porno as it will be a life of hell. He needs your help to come up with a remoltely plausable reason why he has his spuff all over her top.....

HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He missed her so much while she was away ...he used her top because it had her smell on it and reminded him of her...:whistling:

 

[MK Shrimper]

Used his imagination, thinking of his missus 'cos he missed her?

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

I go with what Cricko & MK said.
A long shot but it might just work!

 

[C C Csiders]

He missed her so much while she was away ...he used her top because it had her smell on it and reminded him of her...:whistling:

Brilliant!

Alternatively he could claim her top has developed mildew.

 

[EastStandBlue]

Blame it on his mate Evad.

 

[Mighty Shrimper]

Tell her it was either a **** or a prossie so she should be thankfull she's got a t-shirt covered in harry monk.

 

[South Bank Hank]

Blame it on his mate Evad.

:D Brilliant.

 

[i_luv_b&s_fc]

blame it on a 'drunk mate'

 

[ldnfatso]

He missed her so much while she was away ...he used her top because it had her smell on it and reminded him of her...:whistling:

Somehow i can't help but think you have used this excuse before Cricko!

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

Somehow i can't help but think you have used this excuse before Cricko!

Only in terms of explaining why there were dubious stains on curtains! :p

 

[Pubey]

blame it on immigrants

 

[Firestorm]

it wasn't porn, it was a picture of You , could add to the missing you bit to make it really cheesey

Alternatively he could make out he is on a health kick to improve himself for her but he spilt the cottage cheese

 

[EastStandBlue]

he spilt the cottage cheese

That's exactly how he got into this sticky situation :whistling:

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

He was trying to get Festival tickets for her as a surprise but missed the vial!

See Pubey's thread from the other day!

 

[BrettieAngell]

He was trying to get Festival tickets for her as a surprise but missed the vial!

See Pubey's thread from the other day!

Thats a good one!

 

[Southend_Lady]

Be a good mate and tell him that he can blame it on you!

 

[DTS]

Be a good mate and tell him that he can blame it on you!

Dont really think his Mrs will buy the fact I have come over for a wazz somehow...