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I walked into a cubicle the other day and there staring at me was a "pooh cobra" It was sticking about 2 cm above the toilet rim and I nearly retched. On reflection I did feel sorry for whoever laid it as he must have been walking around with the sawrest ring piece nown to man!

Probably a turtle head. As long as it didn't touch cloth.....
 
Yeah, it's all about the toilet paper, or The Runway, as it used to be known in my circle. Saves you from that awful splashback moment as well...

Mind you, that splendid article makes no mention of one particularly cruel practice that I've been told about. You know when you're packing heat in a multi-cubicled khazi and you don't want to open the bomb-bay doors because you can hear other people talking at the urinal?

A friend of mine tells me that he and his colleagues keep a close eye on new recruits, waiting for them to crack and go for the first expulsion of their tenure. They move into position, following him in and weeing and chatting away, while the fresh-faced newbie sits in the cubicle, clenched up and desperate for them to leave.

After giving it a good two minutes to prolong the unfortunate man's misery, they walk, still talking, to the main door, open it and let it swing shut.

The poor sod, thinking he's alone, then relinquishes his foul cargo with all the emancipated trumpeting you can imagine and is shocked to hear a standing ovation and loud whooping from outside the cubicle.

It's a cruel, cruel game.
 
Yeah, it's all about the toilet paper, or The Runway, as it used to be known in my circle. Saves you from that awful splashback moment as well...

Mind you, that splendid article makes no mention of one particularly cruel practice that I've been told about. You know when you're packing heat in a multi-cubicled khazi and you don't want to open the bomb-bay doors because you can hear other people talking at the urinal?

A friend of mine tells me that he and his colleagues keep a close eye on new recruits, waiting for them to crack and go for the first expulsion of their tenure. They move into position, following him in and weeing and chatting away, while the fresh-faced newbie sits in the cubicle, clenched up and desperate for them to leave.

After giving it a good two minutes to prolong the unfortunate man's misery, they walk, still talking, to the main door, open it and let it swing shut.

The poor sod, thinking he's alone, then relinquishes his foul cargo with all the emancipated trumpeting you can imagine and is shocked to hear a standing ovation and loud whooping from outside the cubicle.

It's a cruel, cruel game.

Cruel, mate, but ingenious :D
 
What a brilliant thread :D

I was taking a leak in the toilets at the college pub last summer, and Col U were over for pre season training. In walks Mickey Adams and unzips in the urinal beside me. Next thing, i go for one last push to get it all out of my system, and let an 'escapee' out. Could have been an embarasing moment, but we both laughed and started having a chat whilst washing our hands.

Top bloke! :D
 
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I guess I'd be an out of the closet pooper. For me, the work s**t is one of the highlights of the day.
 
I guess I'd be an out of the closet pooper. For me, the work s**t is one of the highlights of the day.

The beer s*it I did the morning after a stag do I went to at the weekend was highly satisfying :)
 
The one at work must never be done, under any circumstances, during the lunch hour, as you get far more satisfaction knowing that you are getting paid whilst dumping
 
The one at work must never be done, under any circumstances, during the lunch hour, as you get far more satisfaction knowing that you are getting paid whilst dumping

exactly - been in my new flat now for a week and havent had a dump in my toilet yet. Why take a dump on my time when i can take a dump on my company's time. I think its quite satisfying that while you are sitting there in the cubicle you are getting paid for it!!
 
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