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How too take this joke forward?

Forums New posts

Options

  • Stop the Joke - If he is under pressure he wont appreicate it.

    Votes: 5 12.5%

  • Stop the joke - Mr Slater could be in contact.

    Votes: 2 5.0%

  • Carry on - Make out to have a big mortgage a proposition him.

    Votes: 12 30.0%

  • Carry on - Ask him to service your wife.

    Votes: 19 47.5%

  • Other - Please state.

    Votes: 2 5.0%
  • Total voters
    40
DTS

DTS

The Business
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
16,175
Location
In a world of my own.
Rightio,

Basically on Monday Ben at work got a really weird email from a customer on Friday last week. This email was from someone called Mr Slater - The bloke basically said that who the hell was Ben to ask him about his personal details - All he wanted was a mortgage quote? He asked Ben is he was qualified to deal with mortgages to which Ben replied with a mail explaining his qualifications.

Clearly there is no way we can quote someone until we know about about them as different lenders do different things and theres not just one price.

Benny boy and I have lunch everyday and over todays lasagne and salad he was moaning what a **** this bloke was to be so rude.

Anyway I decided for a laugh to set up a hotmail in the name of the customer that ****ed Ben off.

So far I have sent Ben an emails as follows.

"Dear Ben,

I am sorry for all my initial questions. I have had problems in the past with brokers so I like to know who I am dealing with.

On paper you seem highly qualified and more than capable in dealing with my financial needs.

Before I am prepared to transact with you I want to know more about you as a person. Please tell me more about the man that is Ben Brown.

Thanks
Mr Slater."


I am not sure how to take this forward. I am tempted to pretend to have a 5 million pound mortgage and tell ben I am gay and lonley.

I also thought about stringing him along abit and then saying I was in a wheelchair and I need someone to service my wife.

I am however a bit concious as sales have been crap of late and he is under pressure from the boss to deliver. Half of me thinks I should drop this.

My only other worry is if the real Mr Slater mails him again but judging by his angry tone I cant see that happening.

Ideas are welcome.

DtS
 
Last edited:
Definately gotta carry on with this one. The servicing wife option would give the game away too easily though.
 
I'd say drop it. I wouldn't appreciate my mates doing this to me if it risks my job, not funny. If theres no risks involved though such as losing his job, the definately plow ahead :D
 
The only concern with the big mortgage offer idea would be that if Ben bites and devotes a bit of time to the account, would it be at the expense of a true enquiry, thus costing the the company (and Ben).
 
Carry it on until he is desperate with fear and not sleeping at night, its funny as **** doing this kind of thing.

CS Cockles was the brunt of my jokes for years and vice versa and it never did our friendship any harm. (the one eyed no good lousy ratbag git). I wrote letters that were printed in the echo in his name many a time (Dear Uncle Ron), hid hid glassses in his lunch (pasta) and generally drove his ****ing mad back in the day.

Crack on that man until the end.
 
although my finest hour wasnt work relaited was it you hound??? after a rather big night drinking in the city me and the dog found ourselves at the dogs residence in leigh well after a few more lin.........errr sorry drinks the dog took himself off to bed, whilst in a drunken stuppa I accidently popped into barry the dogs mums room by mistake (wink wink) anyway one thing led to another and I absolutely gave barrys mum propably the best sex she had had in years, it was however alittle embaressing when Barry popped in, in the morning to give his mum a ham omlette and cup of tea (As he does every weekend) abd there she was Mrs BTD tied up blindfolded covered in chocolate with me nibling her toes ooo if only she could have seen your face!!!!!!


yes My glasses hidden in my very own spaggetti bolognase must have been one of your best............
 
REPLY ONE FROM BEN,

"Dear Mr Slater,

Thank you for your email. I fully understand you questions - It is important to feel confident in your mortgage broker for what could be one of the most important transactions in your life.

A bit about me as requested. I am 32 years old and have been a mortgage broker for six years. I live with my girlfriend in South London and my interests include sports, the cinema and family time. I am also a big Arsenal fan.

I hope this give you an insight into me more and I hope to hear from you soon.

Best Wishes

Ben"

WHAT A LIAR !!!!!!!!!!! Family time - He hates doing things with his family, sports - only sport he does is drinking and smoking. The only true thing is he supports Arsenal.

I am going to put stage two of my plan into place one our boss goes out as Ben bloody reads the emails out in the office.

:hilarious:
 
Firestorm said:
The only concern with the big mortgage offer idea would be that if Ben bites and devotes a bit of time to the account, would it be at the expense of a true enquiry, thus costing the the company (and Ben).
Click to expand...

I did think about that so have decided to just mention I have a big mortgage yet never quote figures.
 
Dave the Shrimper said:
REPLY ONE FROM BEN,

"Dear Mr Slater,

Thank you for your email. I fully understand you questions - It is important to feel confident in your mortgage broker for what could be one of the most important transactions in your life.

A bit about me as requested. I am 32 years old and have been a mortgage broker for six years. I live with my girlfriend in South London and my interests include sports, the cinema and family time. I am also a big Arsenal fan.

I hope this give you an insight into me more and I hope to hear from you soon.

Best Wishes

Ben"
Click to expand...

Worked out what you are going to say next Dave?

Dear Ben

Thank you for your e-mail and apologies for my testy e-mail [last week]. I have had a lot of personal issues on my plate recently.

I think you have hit the nail on the head that I need to feel confident in my mortgage broker as this is the biggest decision that I have ever taken in my life. I think confidence is the key to this transaction and it would help if I could get to know you - and your family that is so important to you - better. Maybe I could meet you and your girlfriend for steak dinner on [pick inconvenient date for Ben]?
 
Yorkshire Blue said:
Worked out what you are going to say next Dave?

Dear Ben

Thank you for your e-mail and apologies for my testy e-mail [last week]. I have had a lot of personal issues on my plate recently.

I think you have hit the nail on the head that I need to feel confident in my mortgage broker as this is the biggest decision that I have ever taken in my life. I think confidence is the key to this transaction and it would help if I could get to know you - and your family that is so important to you - better. Maybe I could meet you and your girlfriend for steak dinner on [pick inconvenient date for Ben]?
Click to expand...
...then trublue turns up to meet him?

That'd be hilarious in my head :hilarious:
 
sufc_tom said:
So hows this prank going now.. long time since an update:hilarious:
Click to expand...

Building up my charecter as we speak.

At the moment I am a very rich yet eccentric charecter who needs to be re-assured about the person I am dealing with before I can open up fully.
 
This has the potential to be fantastic if you play this one right Dave, dont take much longer to reply though, with the ideas you have, the Mr Slater being created would not take forever to reply
 
Shrimper2thecore said:
This has the potential to be fantastic if you play this one right Dave, dont take much longer to reply though, with the ideas you have, the Mr Slater being created would not take forever to reply
Click to expand...

I am waiting for the MD to go out as dont want too look like I spend all day winding up Ben which in fairness I do.
 
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