I just had to make a judgement call in the toilet

[bucket&spade.f.c]

Went for my afternoon dump and didnt check for bog roll first (who does?) Anyway after releasing the rather loose deposit i reached for the bog roll - nothing!!

Anyway, no panic, must be some in trap 2 next door - no, empty as well.

Couldnt be arsed (arsed get it?, no?) to leave without wiping and getting some bog roll from facilities so i took my boxers off and wiped my arse with them and then threw then in the bin ( no plastic bag)

I am expecting an email to all staff tomorrow about hygiene where i am going ot have to try and keep a straight face.

 

[Slipperduke]

This is why I always take a newspaper with me. You never know.

 

[canveyshrimper]

This is why I always take a newspaper with me. You never know.

Same here, my preferred paper being the Guardian, there's something quite sensual about wiping your arse om Polly Toynbee's sour face.

 

[MK Shrimper]

Same here, my preferred paper being the Guardian, there's something quite sensual about wiping your arse om Polly Toynbee's sour face.

Whereas us lefty's are spoilt for choice for right wing ignorant knee jerk firebrands....

 

[canveyshrimper]

Whereas us lefty's are spoilt for choice for right wing ignorant knee jerk firebrands....

:smile: A little job on Littlejohn Paul.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

This is why I always take a newspaper with me. You never know.

Good to see you sir.

Was Football Fables promoted as a toilet read? If so I'll be considered it in a different light.

 

[EastStandBlue]

Good to see you sir.

Was Football Fables promoted as a toilet read? If so I'll be considered it in a different light.

Just the page with Barry Fry's face on.

 

[Hazey]

I know someone who used to carry a loo roll around in his bag, you never know when.

 

[tottenham541]

I know someone who used to carry a loo roll around in his bag, you never know when.

my grandad used to line his cap with news paper and used to tell me if he was out and bored he could take the paper out and read it to cure his boredom, dirty git.

 

[MK Shrimper]

I know someone who used to carry a loo roll around in his bag, you never know when.

It's a must should you go to India!

 

[Pubey]

It's a must should you go to India!

Yeah it was the same in Sri Lanka. Especially after vegetable curry for breakfast, lunch and tea!

 

[The Big Shrimp]

Went for my afternoon dump and didnt check for bog roll first (who does?) Anyway after releasing the rather loose deposit i reached for the bog roll - nothing!!

Anyway, no panic, must be some in trap 2 next door - no, empty as well.

Couldnt be arsed (arsed get it?, no?) to leave without wiping and getting some bog roll from facilities so i took my boxers off and wiped my arse with them and then threw then in the bin ( no plastic bag)

I am expecting an email to all staff tomorrow about hygiene where i am going ot have to try and keep a straight face.

Just make sure it wasn't a pair with your name sewn in them!!

 

[Medway Blue]

Was there not even a cardboard cylinder left in there? See, whenever I've had the misfortune to realise that there's no toilet paper left, there's always been a cardboard roll left behind. Just unravel it and use that. Bit rough on the bum hole but better than nowt :)

 

[chadded]

Next time, do the sensible thing. **** in Trap one of the female toilets. Then move without flushing to trap two, and wipe.

 

[Tinks]

Thats why us ladies always carry tissues around in our handbags. So I guess I am saying you need to buy a "manbag"

 

[Stats]

Its worth taking your mobile phone with you when you goto the bog.

At least you can send an sos to someone if your caught short.