In honour of the Gillingham manager.....

[Yorkshire Blue]

....can we come up with a Southend Slow XI

Obviously Stimson at left-back and probably captain, pushing out Che Wilson (FACT: Che could run quicker backwards than forwards) and recent loanee, George Friend.

Centre-halves - we've had a few who could be outsprinted by a crippled, asthmatic ant, but Ben Lewis is my favourite for this berth. Phil Whelan probably just about out-paces Mark Warren, leaving the former Col Ewe and Orient centre-half provisionally alongside him. Rob Newman escapes nomination because of the time he slide tackled Mark Hateley from 30 yards. On a wet surface and with some impressive momentum behind him he was really moving by the time he upended Hately.

Gillingham sub Kevin Maher was so slow it took him 10 years to leave Southend. I'd pencil him alongside Ronnie Whelan, who I'm not sure ever broke into a trot in a Southend shirt. Which reminds me, Kevin O'Callaghan. I seem to remember Derek Hall as painfully slow as well. Neither Simon Livett nor Rio Alderton were fleet-footed.

Up front lee-footed Lead Bradbury, possibly partnered by Dougie Freedman (injury permitting). Andy Rammell looked like he'd get out of breath getting out of bed in the morning so may be a contender as well. Drewe Broughton would be in the mix, so weighed down was he by the sweat dripping from his wrist bands. Was Mario Walsh slow or just ****? He certainly was ****.

GK - probably Neville Southall and I'm struggling for a right-back unless we go for Mark Hone who usually fits into most of these type of teams.

Provisional XI

Southall
Hone Lewis Warren Stimson
Livett Whelan Maher Hall
Bradbury Freedman



It would be awesome if we could hold the successor to the Rumbelows Sprint Challenge as trials for this team. I'd pay good money to watch the contenders battle it out over 100m to get into this team.

Any other nominations?

 

[canveyshrimper]

Trevor Whymark instead of Freedman, I've see jumbo jets with a smaller turning circle. Or as Firestorm memorably put it at the time, "I've seen milk turn quicker". Or Peter Abbott who to me seemed to have his feet on the wrong legs, and his boots on the wrong feet.

In midfield I'd have Phil Chisnall, a very good player but painfully slow, Phil Duddley would do well at right back he always looked like he was treading water. Dave Young at centre half, I'll never forget his og at Derby in the FA Cup.

 

[fbm]

Martyn Booty was pretty slow. Dave Martin didn't have pace on his CV and Gordon Connelly was the slowest winger I've ever seen.

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

Graeme Jones was slower than Bradbury.

 

[Stats]

Jason Harris showed a deceptive lack of pace.

 

[canveyshrimper]

Jason Harris showed a deceptive lack of pace.

Nice one Stats, reminds of what Tommy Docherty said to Leighton James when he was in charge at Derby, "Son, your deceptive, you're slower than you look". :D

 

[Rob Noxious]

Paul Byrne on the right perhaps? Or Tommy Black with his change of pace ... slow and painfully slow...

 

[BrettieAngell]

Benji upfront surely? Legend that he is!

 

[SUFC_Al]

Benji upfront surely? Legend that he is!

yep the word pace doesn't apply to Benji, he was merely "walking quickly"

 

[Pak Power]

Phil Gridlet wasn't the quickest !

 

[A Century United]

Aaaah! Brain-crash.... Who was the excellent rosy-cheeked west country player we used to have? Got booked once for pacing out the 10 yards to prove to the ref he hadn't moved the wall back far enough?

 

[OldBlueLady]

Aaaah! Brain-crash.... Who was the excellent rosy-cheeked west country player we used to have? Got booked once for pacing out the 10 yards to prove to the ref he hadn't moved the wall back far enough?

Willie Coulson?

 

[canveyshrimper]

Willie Coulson?

Good shout, and definitely rosy cheeked (through a surfeit of Pernod) but he was a Geordie.

Best I can come up with is Billy Kellock.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Good shout, and definitely rosy cheeked (through a surfeit of Pernod) but he was a Geordie.

Best I can come up with is Billy Kellock.

He hasn't narrowed it down particularly to a decade has he?

 

[A Century United]

Willie Coulson?

Good shout, and definitely rosy cheeked (through a surfeit of Pernod) but he was a Geordie.

Best I can come up with is Billy Kellock.

Willie Coulson it was, thank you Kay. And he probably was a geordie, Harry, but with those cheeks and that hair whenever I remember him, I see him in a Smock not a shirt....!

 

[OldBlueLady]

Woooohhhhhoooooo!!!!! Willie Coulson, I know what you mean, you could imagine him in a smock very much in the Two Ronnies line!

 

[canveyshrimper]

Willie Coulson it was, thank you Kay. And he probably was a geordie, Harry, but with those cheeks and that hair whenever I remember him, I see him in a Smock not a shirt....!

:D Perhaps after his career was over he joined The Wurzels.

 

[maninasuitcase]

Andy Sussex, Adam Locke and John Cornwall always seemed less than speedy.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Scott Houghton was never the fastest. Neville Southall in goal, surely - a man who took two hours to move off his line.

Controversially, perhaps, I'll also nominate Barrington Belgrave. A man who was deceptively slow. Sure, his legs were pumping away - but they were so short, he never actually moved. It was like he was running up the down escalator...

 

[Southend Neil]

Certainly the slowest centre half pairing we have had was David Howell and Graham Bressington, painful. Also I dont think Dave Morley would be far away either.

Legend though he is, I dont think Brett Angell exactly ran away from centre halves. In fact him and Benji were pretty slow, just to show you dont always need pace to be successful.