Interview Disasters

[MrB]

My mate was telling me the story of his first interview earlier, he was waiting in the office and decided he'd better lay some cable before going in. Unforrtunately the cable wasn't especially solid so he grabbed a load of loo roll for the clean up operation. When he drew the paper back it seemed remarkably clean, on closer inspection he'd actually caught the bottom of his shirt on the way down and ended up mopping most of the excess up with that.

Not much he could do in that situation, he wiped as much as he could off but had to go into the interview stinking of poo.

Now this made me chuckle as any story relating to someone ****ting themselves normally does. Anyone had an equally bad interview experience? Needless to say he didn't get the job.

 

[South Bank Hank]

I'm thinking of locking the thread now. That's going to be tough to beat, B.

 

[Firestorm]

Many years ago I had the misfortune to make a new member of my team cry on her first day , however several years later I got a phone call from a mate saying that he had beaten my record....

The Interview was going well , the girl he was interviewing seemed ideal for the job they were getting on really welland it was just down to tying a few loose ends up.
So my mate says "just a few formalities really, it says here on the application form , Reason for leaving previous job - Personal, I am afraid thats a bit vague , we will need a bit more information , It can't be too bad , its not like you were sh**ing your boss"
Cue a wail from the lass, who propmptly picks up her bag and rushes from the room bawling her eyes out.

Turns out she was and she was leaving because he had just dumped her

 

[seany t]

Nothing like as unfortunate as the above two, but a great learning experience:

I got left a business card at my Design degree show for a well-known London graphic design company, provisionally offering me a job subject to an interview. Being skint and keen to make the move there, I lapped it up and rushed down there with my folio the next day.

Got into the office, had an interview with one of the best looking women I've ever seen (it was a struggle to concentrate, what with her thin white shirt and the air con turned up to max) and they really liked my work. They offered me the job out of the blue, I said thanks a lot, that'd be great, and they even gave me a welcome pack.

As I was leaving, she asked what it was i wanted out of the job.

I said something along the lines of: "Well, I just want a a bit of diversity in my first job, and don't fancy going to one of those horrible, big companies that just airbrush glows and bright flashes behind bubbly type on those horrid, soulless large brands"

She looked a bit surprised, took my pack back and said "Oh. Ok... But just what is it you think we do here?"

As I looked around, it dawned on me that there were over 100 designers working in the same room, that the shelves behind where I'd been sitting were overflowing with exactly those jobs and that the welcome pack now in her hands was basically a portfolio of my worst nightmare.

Lessons learned: DO YOUR RESEARCH.

 

[loz]

I've about 5 minutes ago finished an interview where i learnt that:

a) the job was very different to my reading of the description
b) therefore, i knew a lot less about it than I thought.
c) that this doesn't make for a fun interview experience.

I'm not expecting a callback, and heartily endorse sean's lesson regarding research above.

 

[Winkle]

http://www.shrimperzone.com/vb/showpost.php?p=527634&postcount=1
"And it all comes flooding back"

 

[loz]

I've about 5 minutes ago finished an interview where i learnt that:

a) the job was very different to my reading of the description
b) therefore, i knew a lot less about it than I thought.
c) that this doesn't make for a fun interview experience.

I'm not expecting a callback, and heartily endorse sean's lesson regarding research above.

As a very weird addendum to this, i just got a callback offering me a 2nd interview. shows what i know, huh? still don't want the job anymore, but hey.

 

[Suomi Shrimper]

Went for a job a couple of weeks ago at a company in Whitechapel. First interview (with their lovely HR woman) went really well, she enthusiastically endorsed my qualifications, experience and ability to do the job. Noticed while I was there that about 90% of the staff were women and didn't think anything of it at the time. 2nd interview a few days later with the (male) team leader, didn't go badly but just had a bad feeling. Got a call the day after saying I hadn't got the job. In the end the two vacant positions went to the other two candidates whose interviews, as it happens, didn't take place until later in the week after I was rejected. They were both attractive women in their early 20s.

Methinks I lacked the quality up front, so to speak.

 

[loz]

Went for a job a couple of weeks ago at a company in Whitechapel. First interview (with their lovely HR woman) went really well, she enthusiastically endorsed my qualifications, experience and ability to do the job. Noticed while I was there that about 90% of the staff were women and didn't think anything of it at the time. 2nd interview a few days later with the (male) team leader, didn't go badly but just had a bad feeling. Got a call the day after saying I hadn't got the job. In the end the two vacant positions went to the other two candidates whose interviews, as it happens, didn't take place until later in the week after I was rejected. They were both attractive women in their early 20s.

Methinks I lacked the quality up front, so to speak.

in my deep dark sport retail days, i knew a store manager who used to screen potential job candidates on the phone by asking if they had big tits. classy.

 

[WestRoadShrimper]

Mine's not even close to the above stories, but always makes me chuckle at my stupidity nonetheless.

I was on the interview day for my place on a PGCE course to become a teacher. The tasks during the day had gone pretty well, and the time came for me to be called in for the formal interview. The two people sitting opposite me were rather stoney-faced, so I thought "I know, I'll break the ice with a bit of humour". The first question I was asked was the classic "So, why do you want to be a teacher?". Thinking this was the opportunity I was looking for, I replied

"Well, the thirteen weeks holiday is very appealing."

Surprisingly, this was met with about 5 seconds of silence before a rather drawn out "Ok" led into the second question.

I left thinking I was going to have to find somewhere else to apply to, but luckily I was phoned later that evening saying I was being offered the place providing I tried not to be so flippant in the future.....

Moral: REALLY think hard about how to break the ice in an interview :doh:

 

[sufcintheprem]

I had an interview for one of the big accountancy firms and somewhere near the beginning the guy said, "So I see you're a bit of a Southend fan" (God knows why this was and still is on the CV).

"Yes, proud holder of a season ticket", I replied.

"I'm actually a Colchester fan"...



....I couldn't really forgive him after that

 

[DTS]

Worst one I have ever see....

My boss - Why do you want to work for us.

Interviewee - I see Barclays as a market leader in the mortgage market and I think it will offer some great opportunities for me - there is no other company I want to work at.

My boss - This is LTSB not Barclays.

Interviewee - Oh ****

 

[Ricey]

I had an interview for one of the big accountancy firms and somewhere near the beginning the guy said, "So I see you're a bit of a Southend fan" (God knows why this was and still is on the CV).

"Yes, proud holder of a season ticket", I replied.

"I'm actually a Colchester fan"...



....I couldn't really forgive him after that

God that would of killed me if he said that, cause everytime someone says Colchester I have to spit! LOL!

But as soon as he said that I would of just walked out and not said a word. GONE.

 

[Uncle Leo]

Never had a particularly bad interview myself. I've conducted more than I can remember though and was particularly embarrassed when I got half way through one interview before realising the CV I was using as the basis for my questions was not that of the person I was speaking to...

 

[Bluesmanager]

God that would of killed me if he said that, cause everytime someone says Colchester I have to spit! LOL!

But as soon as he said that I would of just walked out and not said a word. GONE.

Colchester. :P

I've a suspicion I'll either have a good interview or one to put in the archives here in a few weeks. Assuming I get one in the first place.