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callan

Striker
Joined
Apr 13, 2006
Messages
3,603
Our third interview is with J, a man who has had many guises on on SZ over the years and yet is probably an enigma to most., so lets find out more about him.

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Q. You've had many zone bans over the years but these days you seem seem to court less controversy...whats changed?

J - I took a long hard look at myself and realised my Ying and my Yang were totally out of Sync, also Jupiter was in conflict with
Omega three which was really bad for my Karma.
Through Feng Shui, yoga and and listening to John Lennon LP's I've managed to turn things round, and hope to portray a better cosmic balance to fellow Zoners these days.

Q Theres a hidden side to you that would surprise most Zoners, can you share with us what that is?

J - Absolutely I'm totally in love with the theatre and belong to the prittlewell players amateur dramatic society.
Our lastest production is Ali Baba and the forty thieves by Joe Orwell, its a roustabout funfest of a show and I urge all of you to get down to the Steve Biko community centre on East street where we will be performing.

Q Southend Lady once famously offered you a blow job, did you take her up on it?

J - No not yet, she donated it as a raffle prize at the end of season zone party which I won...I was a little bit disappointed at the time as I was hoping to get the mp3 player.

Q. You were once spotted on parade with some Air Cadets outside Carpetland at Rochford Rretail park...what was that all about?

J - I can't reveal to much as its classified but lets just say we sent a message to Osama bin laden that day.

Q. Faggots or Rissoles?

I'm with the Arch Bishop of Canterbury on this one...so Rissoles.

Q. Your very keen on penning songs / chants for Southend any crackers lined up for next season?

I won't be writing with Smiffy thats for sure...too many artistic differences.
What I can see in the pipeline is a collaboration of works with Osymandus though.


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Next week we are in Compton interviewing one of LA's finest...yes it's Ldnfatso.
 
Oh and by the way, it's all true - especially about the archbishop, i'm most definitely with him.. so to speak.
 
J - Absolutely I'm totally in love with the theatre and belong to the prittlewell players amateur dramatic society.
Our lastest production is Ali Baba and the forty thieves by Joe Orwell, its a roustabout funfest of a show and I urge all of you to get down to the Steve Biko community centre on East street where we will be performing.

So that's where he has been hiding.
 
Oh my god - I did not donate that to the raffle. If I remember rightly you had lost your wallet and as a joke I offered you a blowy to cheer you up. He refused as he said that nothing could replace his Mecca Gold Card.
 
Oh my god - I did not donate that to the raffle. If I remember rightly you had lost your wallet and as a joke I offered you a blowy to cheer you up. He refused as he said that nothing could replace his Mecca Gold Card.

No, i refused because you had just had a burger, so it would have been like ****ing a dead cow. No offence like.
 
No, i refused because you had just had a burger, so it would have been like ****ing a dead cow. No offence like.

Well you said you would try anything once so I can see why you wouldnt want to do such a thing again. I heard the RSPCA were after you.
 
Tis true , i wanted to keep it under wraps however it will be piece in the mould of Schopans 4th in E minor . The Royla philomonic will be in attendance along with mongolias national throat warblers and a llamma called Jose.

Its very much a love song
 
Fantastic interview callan, what other members have you got lined up for us???
 
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