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callan

Striker
Joined
Apr 13, 2006
Messages
3,603
Canvey shrimper is our latest interviewee known to some also as Harry, but back in the 70's when terrace violence was at its height he was known as Malcolm the Teapot, a name that would strike terror into opposition fans.


Q. Share with us your experiences of the terrace violence that was so prevalent back in the 70's.

CS - It all started after a game against Boreham wood, they came and took the p!ss out of us down at the hall...so I said to me mate Howard that we would need to get to get organised.
We looked around at other teams like West Ham who had a fan called Billy the Gardener, he would mow your lawn, Millwall had Charlie Ironing board who used to put a nice crease in yer trousers...Chelsea had Eccles who used to bake opposition fans a cake and so on.
Me and Howard came up came up with the plan that any away fans getting off at Prittlewell that looked liked they wanted refreshment would be confronted by me and my teapot.

Q. So let me get this straight, you didn't actually fight other fans you made them cups of tea?

CS - Thats right, me and H were proper naughty, we once nearly come unstuck against some Lincoln fans, we were out numbered and it looked like being on top for us,
luckily Howard pulled a packet of custard creams out of his pocket and they were on there toes.

Q. What made you give up the Violence?

CS - I got into the Rave scene.

Q. You used to live in Middlesboro, but you've now moved to Canvey and you work in Tilbury...where did you discover this taste for the high life?

CS - I was born and raised in the slums of Leigh on sea, some people could only afford one continental holiday a year it was that bad.
I'm one of lucky ones who managed to get away.

Q. Err right so Terry Wogan on Elton John.

CS - I swear by the Elton John, its rain resistant and doesnt slip down your head unlike the wogan, also it makes me look ten years younger.

Q. I split up with my partner of thirteen years last week, obviously I'm heartbroken as there is no one to do the ironing...as a trusted mate what advice can you give me?

CS - Women are alright but you cant beat the real thing.

So thanks for that Harry, wise words indeed.
Our next interviews are with Mr Macintosh and MK shrimper, not sure which order though at the moment.
 
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