Jokes about Islam and other religions (except Christianity)

[Reg Martin]

Just been perusing the 'Never tire of these ..' thread and noticed a number of SZ fans of cutting-edge comedy have posted some that have a dig at The Bible, Christ and Christians.
No objections have been raised by the fearless liberals who inhabit the SZ community so in the interest of balance it seems only fair that we have a thread that pokes fun at religions other than Christianity without protest from the usual bleeding hearts among us. I'm sure the mods will be fully behind this as it will bring a much-needed balance to the Zone given the anti-Christian jokes we've had without censorship.
So who's first? I'm sure that Pubey chap must know a few anti-Muslim jokes...

 

[EastStandBlue]

RobM's probably got something to say about this... I'd get them in before him and Osy go mental.

 

[Reg Martin]

RobM's probably got something to say about this... I'd get them in before him and Osy go mental.

Who is RobM? Why would he and Osy go mental?
I am making a serious point admittedly in a rather facetious, possibly provocative, way that may go over the head of the more denser Zoners.
Look at some of the religious-themed posts on the 'Never tire of these..' thread.
Would they have gone without comment if they had been about any other religion than Christianity?
ps for the benefit of any genuine Muslims on here (I know Southend Neil is one) I am not really trying to invite jokes that offend you, I am trying to make a serious point about some of the anti-Christian stuff that has been posted.

 

[Hotman]

its only racist if it's anti-dark people, don't you know anything?

 

[pickledseal]

Why highlight Islam? Why not just leave it at other religions?

I don't have too much objection to the Christian jokes because the ones I have seen (and I haven't been looking too closely) have been generally light-hearted. As a RC, we generally can take a good laugh at ourselves although I do take offence at graphic blasphemous images of JC. I think issue to be careful of is the fact that Muslims find images of Allah (PBUH) offensive, and Jews do not write the name of G-d. Additionally I'm sure that Muslim/terrorist jokes feel to me like Catholic/paedo-priest jokes - evidence cannot be denied, yet they are still a minority that the majority struggle to deal with and don't feel too comfortable with jokes about. As long as jokes are in good humour and light hearted I don't think there is much of an issue. I've never been a fan of jokes that are purely 'funny' because they are offensive. It's a bit like comedians that just use the C word to get a laugh. Easy. Not funny.

Try me :)

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Why highlight Islam?

 

[Cricko]

JC ?don't bring me into this..I wandered into some ghetto once asked to be put up for the night...ended up nailed to some cross.

Hardly did much for Thompson Travel's reputation.

 

[Hotman]

I've deleted my jokes as i don't want hordes of beardies burning dolls and pleading for my death

 

[steveo]

I went to a Muslim strip club last week, everyone was chanting "show us your face".

 

[Hotman]

I went to a Muslim strip club last week, everyone was chanting "show us your face".

did they offer to pork her?

 

[osymandus]

Im already mental

Buddha walked up to a new york hot dog seller and said
"Make me one with everything"

How many Thelemites does it take to change alightbulb
One to actually do it, and 92 to argue over how Crowley would have done it.

A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu says, 'I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn.' So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, 'There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow.'
So, the Rabbi says, 'I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn.' A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.
So, the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door.
It's the pig and the cow...

 

[C C Csiders]

Jesus F***ing Christ just so happens to have the same initials as a suspended Southend midfielder - and suspended was what the original did best.

 

[osymandus]

[SIZE=+1]Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1] Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1] The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1] A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."

[/SIZE][SIZE=+1]Q - How do we know Jesus was Jewish?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]A - He lived at home until he was 30.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]He went into his father's business.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+1]His mother thought he was G-d.[/SIZE]

 

[osymandus]

Q: If a Witch practices on the beach, is she a Sandwich ? ​

Q: What's Wiccan, flies around, and makes honey? A: The Blessed Bee!
Q: What do you say to an angry witch? A: Ribbit
Q: What's the difference between a New Ager and a Pagan? A: A decimal point. An item you'll pay $300 to a New Ager for, you can get from a local Pagan for $30.
Q: How do you tell a New Age witch from a NeoPagan Witch? A: You throw them both in the water. The NeoPagan Witch will float, whereas the New Age Witch will sink under the weight of all their overpriced crystals....
Q: What happens when a Ceremonial Magician gets angry? A: He goes Qua-ballistic


The new ager ones not so funny.

 

[MK Shrimper]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svLyyzBC_qI

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

Im sure that im missing the point here but isnt all religon a bit of a joke since that Darwin bloke came up with that evolotion thingy,if you need a crutch to get you through your everyday life why not choose drugs or drink,at least they are real.

 

[osymandus]

Im sure that im missing the point here but isnt all religon a bit of a joke since that Darwin bloke came up with that evolotion thingy,if you need a crutch to get you through your everyday life why not choose drugs or drink,at least they are real.

The basic answer to this is ... No because not all religions are anti evoltion or science (The Hermetic sciences might be worth a goole) and not every relgion unlikle 99% of people are taught in this country are about giving yourself up to mythical and superstitious credos you can't question.

 

[osymandus]

A readand more a crack at how extremist American Christians used to denounce people from playing Dungeons and Dragons and how it lead you into the life of an occultist !!!!
(this is only partialy true I also... err i mean they normally go into working in IT as well)

http://www.enterthejabberwock.com/?p=631

 

[Reg Martin]

Im sure that im missing the point here but isnt all religon a bit of a joke since that Darwin bloke came up with that evolotion thingy,if you need a crutch to get you through your everyday life why not choose drugs or drink,at least they are real.

Some days I don't need a crutch, I need a stretcher

 

[Reg Martin]

Why highlight Islam? Why not just leave it at other religions?

I don't have too much objection to the Christian jokes because the ones I have seen (and I haven't been looking too closely) have been generally light-hearted. As a RC, we generally can take a good laugh at ourselves although I do take offence at graphic blasphemous images of JC. I think issue to be careful of is the fact that Muslims find images of Allah (PBUH) offensive, and Jews do not write the name of G-d. Additionally I'm sure that Muslim/terrorist jokes feel to me like Catholic/paedo-priest jokes - evidence cannot be denied, yet they are still a minority that the majority struggle to deal with and don't feel too comfortable with jokes about. As long as jokes are in good humour and light hearted I don't think there is much of an issue. I've never been a fan of jokes that are purely 'funny' because they are offensive. It's a bit like comedians that just use the C word to get a laugh. Easy. Not funny.

Try me :)

Although I don't feel comfortable with some types of humour, I'm not very keen on censorship either - provided there is freedom to be equally offensive to everyone. I think in our current culture it is easier to be offensive to Christianity than to other religions especially Islam which is why I highlighted it. However, if we have the freedom on ShrimperZone to be equally offensive to everyone, then I'm happy to drop the subject.