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BoyWonder2

2024, the year of the Shrimpers šŸ¤ ā­
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
10,190
Location
Essex
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT?
rock.gif
!!! What was that?!" So she says the
words that Every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a Baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
 
Try this tonight.
Approach the bed holding a glass of water an aspirin and wearing a hopeful expression.

When she asks "what is this for?"

Your response is "For your headache darling"

If she says "I do not have a headache"

Fill your boots - works every time.
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (canveyshrimper @ Sep. 02 2005,15:31)]Try this tonight.
Approach the bed holding a glass of water an aspirin and wearing a hopeful expression.

When she asks "what is this for?"

Your response is "For your headache darling"

If she says "I do not have a headache"

Fill your boots - works every time.
Rate that!
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (canveyshrimper @ Sep. 02 2005,15:31)]Try this tonight.
Approach the bed holding a glass of water an aspirin and wearing a hopeful expression.

When she asks "what is this for?"

Your response is "For your headache darling"

If she says "I do not have a headache"

Fill your boots - works every time.
biggrin.gif


cracked me up!!
 
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