EastStandBlue
Life President
- Joined
- May 29, 2005
- Messages
- 15,519
Lesson Number One: Trying to sell a player? Make sure they know we think he's crap.
That's right, you heard. There's no need to wax lyrical about what a hard worker he is, or how much he brings to the team morale. Some of us think he's crap and that's all they need to know. That way, you see, there more likely to be impressed with him when they see him and they'll actually pay money for him, instead of us sending him out on loan. He's been a loyal servant? So what, we need the cash.
Lesson Number Two: Crisis? What Crisis?
Deny everything. Deny, deny, deny. Denial is a river in Egypt and it has nothing to do with the "financial problems" at Roots Hall. These are just stories made up by people with far too much time on their hands. You have evidence? That's not evidence, that's just a piece of paper with numbers on. They're not quotes from people in the know, you could've just made them up right here on the spot. There will be no whitewash at the Whitehou... I mean there's not a financial crisis at Roots Hall. I love my job.
Lesson Number Three: Those pesky, meddling fans...
Always getting my damn way. They moan when I blame things on them to resolve a situation, they moan when I make remarks outside of my jurisdiction, and then do the same when I stay quiet... Alright, I should've made an explanation as to why, after five seasons of trying, we still couldn't get the season ticket system right, but come on... I'm not perfect. They should just be quiet, if they don't like it they can go to West Ham, or Colchester I don't really care.
Lesson Number Four: Respond to any criticism.
Ouch... Those meddling fans didn't like that stinging mark I left that player with did they, I might have to respond to some of these, you know, to show that I "care" about supporter opinion. How many of them are there? Christ, that many? I can't be bothered with all this, it's almost tea time, and my tea will be getting cold. Just get the PR rep to do type something up including some statistic or something and... copy and paste and copy and paste and copy and paste and copy and paste and cope and paste. That'll do... meddling fans.
Lesson Number Five: Nothing is more important the club. Not even charity.
What's this then? Somebody moaning about me owe them money? Well, they can join the back of the queue! Haha, see what I did there, a joke about our financial circumstances, The fans would like that, perhaps I'll stick that on the website... bit of humour will lighten the mood somewhat. Oh, it's a charity we owe money now? Well they get given money all the time... Don't they know we're a football club? In this recession we need all the money we can get just to stay afloat! Those kids in that charity get everything, I saw it on that programme once. In actual fact, all jokes aside, they really can join the back of the queue.
That's right, you heard. There's no need to wax lyrical about what a hard worker he is, or how much he brings to the team morale. Some of us think he's crap and that's all they need to know. That way, you see, there more likely to be impressed with him when they see him and they'll actually pay money for him, instead of us sending him out on loan. He's been a loyal servant? So what, we need the cash.
Lesson Number Two: Crisis? What Crisis?
Deny everything. Deny, deny, deny. Denial is a river in Egypt and it has nothing to do with the "financial problems" at Roots Hall. These are just stories made up by people with far too much time on their hands. You have evidence? That's not evidence, that's just a piece of paper with numbers on. They're not quotes from people in the know, you could've just made them up right here on the spot. There will be no whitewash at the Whitehou... I mean there's not a financial crisis at Roots Hall. I love my job.
Lesson Number Three: Those pesky, meddling fans...
Always getting my damn way. They moan when I blame things on them to resolve a situation, they moan when I make remarks outside of my jurisdiction, and then do the same when I stay quiet... Alright, I should've made an explanation as to why, after five seasons of trying, we still couldn't get the season ticket system right, but come on... I'm not perfect. They should just be quiet, if they don't like it they can go to West Ham, or Colchester I don't really care.
Lesson Number Four: Respond to any criticism.
Ouch... Those meddling fans didn't like that stinging mark I left that player with did they, I might have to respond to some of these, you know, to show that I "care" about supporter opinion. How many of them are there? Christ, that many? I can't be bothered with all this, it's almost tea time, and my tea will be getting cold. Just get the PR rep to do type something up including some statistic or something and... copy and paste and copy and paste and copy and paste and copy and paste and cope and paste. That'll do... meddling fans.
Lesson Number Five: Nothing is more important the club. Not even charity.
What's this then? Somebody moaning about me owe them money? Well, they can join the back of the queue! Haha, see what I did there, a joke about our financial circumstances, The fans would like that, perhaps I'll stick that on the website... bit of humour will lighten the mood somewhat. Oh, it's a charity we owe money now? Well they get given money all the time... Don't they know we're a football club? In this recession we need all the money we can get just to stay afloat! Those kids in that charity get everything, I saw it on that programme once. In actual fact, all jokes aside, they really can join the back of the queue.
