Lunchtime Boredom

[SUFCFARAWAY]

Frogs for sale


Man walking down the street noticed a street vendor with a sign FROGS FOR SALE.. "greatest blow job you will ever have”. The man approached and the vendor said, trust me, these frogs give the best blow job you will ever get. The man proceeded home with his new purchase. About 3am the man’s wife was awakened by strange noises and a light coming from the kitchen. She arose to investigate. When she looked in the kitchen she was amazed to see pots and pans scattered all over, cookbooks opened, her husband frying a steak, and the frog up on the counter watching her husband. She asked "what the hell are you doing”. He replied "as soon as I teach this frog to cook.......you`re outa here!!

 

[SUFCFARAWAY]

Heaven or Hell


A young lady came home and told her mother that her boyfriend had proposed, but she had turned him down because she found out that he was an atheist and didn't believe in heaven or hell.

"Marry him anyway, dear," the mother said. "Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is."

 

[SUFCFARAWAY]

The millionare with alligators


Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests...I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million pounds or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"

As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could...the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire was impressed.

He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain...which do you want, my daughter or the one million pounds?"

The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that WATER!!!

 

[canveyshrimper]

Quote[/b] (SUFCFARAWAY @ Nov. 08 2005,13:43)]The millionare with alligators


Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests...I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million pounds or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"

As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could...the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire was impressed.

He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain...which do you want, my daughter or the one million pounds?"

The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that WATER!!!

It was a few days later and the millionaire tried the same thing. A bloke jumped into the pool and swam unmolested to the other side and leapt out to claim his prize.

The millionaire was amazed and asked the man how he had done it.

"Easy" said the man, "I have a tattoo that says Col******r for the cup, and not even an alligator will swallow that"

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[SUFCFARAWAY]

Quote[/b] (canveyshrimper @ Nov. 08 2005,14:08)]

Quote[/b] (SUFCFARAWAY @ Nov. 08 2005,13:43)]The millionare with alligators


Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests...I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million pounds or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"

As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large SPLASH!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could...the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire was impressed.

He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain...which do you want, my daughter or the one million pounds?"

The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that WATER!!!

It was a few days later and the millionaire tried the same thing. A bloke jumped into the pool and swam unmolested to the other side and leapt out to claim his prize.

The millionaire was amazed and asked the man how he had done it.

"Easy" said the man, "I have a tattoo that says Col******r for the cup, and not even an alligator will swallow that"

Quality!

 

[CANV]

my dog minton ate all my shuttlecocks..... bad minton

 

[canveyshrimper]

Funny that, my mate has a dog with no legs he has called it cigarette, every night he takes it out for a drag.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Dear oh dear, there's a run of poor quality dog jokes in Canvey today...

 

[canveyshrimper]

Not me Matt, I am just outside Barking.

 

[CANV]

me neither.. westcliff or canary wharf..
i cant argue with the bad jokes bit mind..

 

[canveyshrimper]

Quote[/b] (CANV @ Nov. 09 2005,11:42)]me neither.. westcliff or canary wharf..
i cant argue with the bad jokes bit mind..

Nor can I

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (canveyshrimper @ Nov. 09 2005,11:29)]Not me Matt, I am just outside Barking.

My point exactly...

 

[canveyshrimper]